Ever since I found those nastee white bacterial worms roaming around my grape tomato container on Friday evening I’ve been having nightmares. Last night I dreamt I lived in a hut amidst a whole community of white bacterial wormy things and they were slowly and gradually eating away at my flesh and multiplying by the billions. Thank you, Biology class for putting those numbers out there into my head space. I can’t be certain, but I’m pretty sure girl-with-a-stick-up-her-patookus-about-all-things-germs is probably the last person in the world who needs to see that. Needless to say, despite my major grape tomato addiction, I have been cured… at least for now. I’m sure eventually I’ll buck up and go back to eating a Sam’s Club container a week… the things are tastee on everything! But, in the meantime, I’m going to leave that super food behind… maybe I’ll just move onto red peanut butter M&Ms. Totally a fair calorizing trade off. Plus, pretty sure you can eat peanut butter M&Ms with EVERYTHING!! :P
Nextly… my Earth Science teacher, who I’m certain is a knock off on Bill Nye the Science Guy, has these mandatory “challenge projects” that he throws at us every 2 weeks. They’re called “challenge” projects because they are meant to be a “challenge.” I’m all like, “Eh… no big deal… as long as I read the textbook and listen to all the lectures, I should be able to ace that sucker, right!?” WRONG!!! I got my hands on the first challenge project this past week and if he wasn’t writing/speaking in Swahili, I’ll eat my head. This is an INTRODUCTION to Earth Science. I’m not a geologist. I’m not a mathmetician. I’m here to take this required class to learn about the Scientifical Earth… and maybe a little bit about martians. Here’s the formula I was expected to solve to figure out via lead/uranium dating how old a rock is:
SOLVE FOR T!!!! Oh… okay. Easy… take the square root of shove it multiply by who gives a crap and then subtract flunked out of Calculus in high school and you should get your answer for T, which flew over my aqua-netted bangs in the 90s! He actually said the following in the instructions: Introductory Science textbooks do not talk about uranium-lead dating because it is so complex. But you are a USU college student, and I think you can solve this problem. Oh okay… well, you totes underestimated I would be in your class… aqua-netted bangs and all!
So, I attempted to solve it by myself. For a week, I scoured the Internet for articles on uranium-lead dating, read every single one of them… watched every single YouTube video on the subject… emailed my professor 4 times… his replies back to me were still all in Swahili and he didn’t give me the answer, which I straight up asked for in the 4th email. I even had one fellow student dude from my class email me asking if I could help HIM out. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha… I found that pretty comical.
So, I gave up, but Saturday my genius 17-year-old nephew Christian, and his genius friend, Matt were coming up, and so I twisted their arms to help me out… which they did in the space of a few hours. Smartie pants anyway! Now I owe them a new car or some such nonsense. :P Some people who are 34 might feel pathetic having a couple of brilliant 17-year-olds help them out of a jam… but not me. Next up, I’m going to the kindergarten class and pick me out a tutor!
Meanwhile, update on the progress of the dreaded flooded room:
These are the industrial fans rying out the pavement. I thought it was important to have the “Sorry” game in the window. I needed to apologize. Lucy-Fur is loving having new hiding places to burrow her head into. The other day, I discovered her “hiding” amidst the box spring mattress and bedding.
Don’t get too comfie, Lucy-Fur. It ain’t gonna last!