This is the first summer I’ve signed up for USU classes. Usually I sit summer out because I enjoy summer and I like to be able to feel like I can get outside here and there instead of stuffed in a dungeon of vitamin D-less fluorescent lightbulbs night and day. But, I ain’t getting any younger and this face ain’t getting less wrinkly, so I figure I best get to hopping, and I signed up. The semester started the weekend after the spring semester ended on May 5th. No breaks for the psychotic they say! Something like that. I wish these “they” people would shut their traps a little bit more and quit giving me new phrases to butcher.
My classes this semester are both online, the first one, History of Utah, which we’ve already established that the professor will not, I repeat… WON’T let me use contractions or the phrase, Oh my stars and garters! I actually did get marked down because I used won’t in a paper. Oh my stars and garters… imagine if I’d used shan’t!
For this class, I just finished reading the most boring book in the history of boring books, The Dominguez-Escalante Journal, which chronicles an expedition that some Franciscan Spaniards took way back in 1776 through New Mexico, Colorado, Utah, and Arizona. I cannot count how many times they told me they passed a rock or how many leagues they traveled in a day. SNORE!! Sometimes they came across a tribe of Indians and then it got a little more interesting, but it was mostly about sagebrush and pine cones and the weather. I got out my journal from when I was a little girl and all I wrote in it was what they had for school lunch that day and whether it was sunny or rainy. I about had a conniption of glee on school lunchroom pizza day! One of these days when they don’t publish my childhood journal, people who don’t read it are going to know all about chicken nuggets and that mystery green meat next to the waxy peas. Way more interesting than sagebrush, Dominguez!
The next class I thought would be very beneficial since the name of it is Managing Stress. I don’t manage stress well, unless you count the time I threw a book at a moving ceiling fan as management. So far, 3 weeks into the class and I’m more stressed out than before I started! Maybe this is the way it’s supposed to be so when we get done with the class in a few months, we’ll all be less stressed than during the class, but still more stressed than before the class!? Is that the way it works? Maybe I just need to get a better system down. She’s making us practice all of these stress relieving techniques on a daily basis whilst journaling them, reading a textbook, doing long assignments, taking quizzes, and studying for a big exam incorporating 6 chapters every 3 weeks. It’s like a full time job just hopped right out my textbook and landed in my craw. I think my method of throwing books at moving ceiling fans is a much easier stress-relieving method because it takes 3 seconds and then someone yells at you. That’s it… done!
Boy… y’all just wait and see. I’m going to be a flim-flammed
hair-less stress-less woman come August… Keep y’alls eyes open for ceiling fan sales.
PS – A great big thank you to all of the men and women, past, present, and future who so selflessly serve(d) our great country. Happy Memorial Day!