Here’s the thing… if you’re still doing this FatMas thing for the prize money, which is only about 3 or so people who are still eligible, you have to finish it out… otherwise, I’ll just assume you’ve dropped out. So, even if you don’t post for 3 weeks and at the end you still have the most amount of points, you will be ineligible on account of the fact that you didn’t finish it out. Perseverance is the name of the game if you want said prize money! If you’re just doing it for kicks and giggles, it don’t matter to me if you dropped out 8 weeks ago… par-tay! I just want to make it fair for the people who are persevering to the end, yo! This shindig ends next Monday!
Grinchness out of the way… throw me out your point total for the week. Since it’s Christmas Eve I won’t make anyone answer any question unless you’re totally itching to answer said questions… then, by all means… go for it!
POINTS THIS WEEK: TOTAL POINTS (FOR ALL WEEKS):
****
Mine:
POINTS THIS WEEK: 8 (yep, you read that right… sorta fell off the exercising train there for a minute… back on it, Whit!) TOTAL POINTS (FOR ALL WEEKS): 114
PS – Posting will be null and void this week (unless I catch a wild hair or insanity gets the better of me)! So,
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! MERRY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY KWANZAA!! All that good stuff.
This past weekend we headed down Salt Lake City way to attend the MoTab Christmas Concert and check out the Temple Square lights, which are always an impressive feat! Whomever has to put those suckers up I do not envy! Imagine the headache! Firstly, I don’t think in my whole childhood we ever owned a string of lights that the whole strand stayed on for an entire season. Usually 2/3 of them would peter out somewhere close to Christmas and then my folks would cuss and vow to never buy lights again for the remainder of said season. Secondly, putting lights evenly on trees is a task in and of itself! Oh gracious lawsy providence… what usually happens when you get all the way to the top of the tree, you realize there is an uneven space near the bottom so take the whole thing off again and start from scratch.
Remind me to never do a job that requires that much patience… aka being a surgeon also. A few pictures from my nonprofessional camera… at night to boot… don’t expect much!
I did not get permission for this picture so I may be banished to the cellar… as you can see it was a veritable heatwave up in that there joint!
The reflecting pool… the white statues are Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus from behind…
We had great seats… right in front of the special door where only the VIPs could come in. I recognized a lot of famous folks, and made up that I saw a lot of others… like Elvis came… pretty sure of it… and Abraham Lincoln was there (minus his hat… that’s just rude to the people behind him!) In all seriousness, Mitt Romney and his wife, Ann walked in with an entourage and the whole crowd was standing up trying to get pictures on their cell phones. I could care less about politicians, so I was trying to get the lettuce leaf out of my back tooth instead. Time well spent, Whitney… time well spent! It was an awesome concerto! Special guests were Alfie Boe (original Jean Val Jean from Les Miserables) and Tom Brokaw… he with the newsworthy deep voice. They also had a special guest star, The Chocolate Bomber… the now 92-year-old Air Force pilot who garnered that name when he dropped candy to kids in Berlin during the war. It was a super cute story told by Mr. Brokaw! Thumbs up, SLC! Next time I’m going to need 70-degree temperatures and a vat of hot chocolate… you hear!?
Question of the Day: Have you been to any Christmas-related concerts this year? What’s your favorite Christmas song?
As a heads up… I’m going to be sporadic in my posting for the next little while. Blogging is starting to become a chore/an obligation rather than something that’s helping me/something I enjoy… and before it gets all the way to that point, I’m going to cut back and just blog when I feel like I have something to talk about. It may be the fact that I’m in a bad mood or burnt out or crankified to the max and back. I can’t tell… it also may be the fact that I’ve been feeling extremely tired and draggy and achy and weak lately. Finally solved that riddle when I had blood taken on Friday and found out my triple trifecta of lameness has returned… anemic (low iron), extremely low B12, and extremely low vitamin D. I’m waiting for the muscle spasms from the lowness to begin before I do anything about it. I kid… iron infusions (aka money grubbers anonymous aka hang out with old people in the infusion room at the hospital) will start soonish. Since I don’t absorb iron in food or oral pills, infusions are the bomb diggity doo dah!
To sum it up… there may still be weeks I blog 5 days a week… there may be times I only blog 2 days a week. Hopefully I can get my butt back to the place where it’s enjoyable rather than something I dread having to do. Lazy is in my bones, yo!
In the meantime… Christmas is in 1 week… ONE! Who is just starting their Christmas shopping? (PS – could y’all pick up some presents for folks on my list… ) It’s amazing how fast the season goes by when you’re not even paying attention. I spent the first half of the month oblivious in la-la land, working and studying. Time to enjoy the last week with Christmas songs and stories and movies… and memories. Remember that one time I got my tongue stuck to a flag pole? What’s that you say? That wasn’t me? Cork it and pretend it was… it’s a good story for the young’uns!
Question of the Day: What’s one thing you haven’t done yet this Holiday season that you want to do?
Saturday (a week ago tomorrow) was supposed to be Snowmaggedon 2012… THE HORROR! The weather dudes were going on and on and on and on about how we should get prepared (by like taking karate lessons or something?) for the horridible snow totals we were going to get. They estimated approximately 1-1/2 feet in the valley. I was not happy since I pretty much despise anything cold and snow-like… unless it’s covered in cherry daquiris (as we’ve already established in previous posts). It especially put a crimp in my plan to head to Salt Lake to attend this huge Christmas gift show they put on every year, advertise like crazy, and then I never end up going to because Snowmaggedon is always the same weekend! Turns out, only the evil cities like Centerville and Bountiful, et al, got the big snow fall (tee hee hee hee… it was a joke… get off your ledge, people of Centerville). We got like 3 inches… and a way-t00-cold-coldness that made me need to put an extra blanket on the bed. I also had to pry my winter coat from hibernating in the smellerific coat closet and wash the sucker.
Instead, Madre and I stayed around the valley and attended much smaller gift shows… like the one at the grocery store, Smith’s for example. They’d advertised the Christmas Open House, but when we got there they had a free sip of orange juice (no exaggeration on the sip) and a hardened piece of a cupcake… ho, ho, ho… all in the name of Christmas!
That was a wash, so we headed to the Great and Spacious Building (I’m plagiarizing the name) to attend a Christmas Gift Show. Turns out I immediately needed everything at the show… and I’d have bought pretty much everything if I’d have been able to steal Simon Cowell’s wallet. A LOT of the show was nifty inventions… inventions that I suddenly couldn’t live without! For example, there was this white powdery stuff (looked like cocaine, so of course I was right on it) that as soon as you poured water into magically turned into snow. Not quite the consistency of snow but pretty cool feeling and cold! I bought that because I do have a need to make snow for the backyard… said the idiot with the “can’t-say-no complex.”
Everywhere I turned someone else had something that obviously would make my life much better… in prison (that’s where I bought my Happy Feet). For example:
Who doesn’t need a flower-like ornament made out of a Diet Dr. Pepper can… coughcoughDESSAcoughcough!? The V8 one in the back was calling my name, except for the fact that I hate V8. Then there were these butterflies:
Talk about trash to treasure! I guess you could make more money making these than you could recycling the suckers! Bring it! There were other inventions that I bought, which I’m not going to spout about because there is a high possibility it will become someone’s Christmas present in the next few weeks… I’m just saying. The only thing I didn’t pick up?
Don’t you just wanna eat his bejeweled little head!! FOR CA-UTE!!!!
Question of the Day: When do you start Christmas shopping? Do you usually stay within your budget?
PS- FatMas friends it be the weekend. Stay strong, finish up all your points, and get ready to be accountable come Mondee! Most importantly, though, have a fabulous weekend!
Firstly, I just wanted to say that Madre is a great driver and I also got the “hates driving in the winter” genes, so all the jabbing I did in yesterday’s post was meant in the most loving way possible… she gives it back with my bobblehead and germ issues! Secondly, the muumuu degrading is NOT meant in the most loving way possible… they are ugly… end of story!
I was searching for a Christmas DVD last weekend, when I came across a VHS tape labeled Whitney Voice Recitals. So, of course I popped it in… yes I do still have a VCR… why do you ask? It was a compilation of me singing at my voice recitals from the age of 15 to 18… circa 1994 to 1997… go 90s!! I had forgotten I even had it… but a nice neighbor had been kind enough to tape all of my performances (his daughter’s were singing at the same recital) and put them on tape for me. My folks didn’t have them fangled dangled camcorders back in the olden days. They preferred to draw our memories in chalk and charcoal… which makes it all the more ironic that we ain’t an artistic family… AT ALL!!!
I watched that VHS tape mostly in shock… did I really look like that at that age? Was my face really that rotund? I don’t remember ever thinking it was that bad back in the olden days. Sure, I knew I was a big girl and that I got made fun of for it… but the picture in my head never matched reality. I was big boned… that’s not fat! I kept trying to put my finger on who I reminded myself of… and then it hit me:
Not my picture... Picture courtesy of Google Images!
Pretty much… rotund, no defined facial bones, no neck (neckless!), and puffy. The similarities were striking, really… and this VHS tape wasn’t anywhere near my highest weight. I guess I needed that reminder… needed it to kick me in the pancake and get me moving forward on my way to conquering the Onederlands… I’ll always have a big ole head (runs in the family), but no more Michelin Man face, Whitney… Hear?
To end out my favorite Christmas songs week, I’m putting a clip from the video here. Mind you, I was 17 and it ain’t the best performance, but I think I’ve improved with practice and maturity since. I’m singing one of my favorite songs with my voice teacher, Sally (who is now a Mormon Tabernacle Choir member… holler!) If anyone wants tips on how to get that super attractive hairdo… I’m your girl. It’s called, roll out of bed, slop a barette into the side so it smashes the hair down… and then for goodness sakes… DO NOT BRUSH IT!
Back to the song. This song always makes me cry… it’s beautiful.
Baby, What You Goin’ To Be?
Baby, Lying in a manger, slumbering so sweetly, Whatcha gonna be? Baby all the world is watchin’, all the world awaits to see, what will you be?
Baby sleeping in a stable, underneath the heavens, whatcha gonna say? Baby, did you bring the Good News? Did you come to light our way?
Oh, look, see the cattle asleep, see the shepherds beside, See the Wise Men, they bow unto you. Are you the one who was meant to be Master? To bring in the Kingdom too? Alleluia
Baby, Hope of all the people, what you come here to do? What you come to say? Baby, can you be the Savior? Come to save the world one day? Baby lying in a manger, will you save the world one day?
Note: As an FYI… I will be taking next week off from blogging land. I’m going to regroup, get a better attitude, and come Mondee, January 2, 2012, I’ll be back full force with a holeeday recap, a recap of the year 2011, and my New Year’s goals. 2012 is going to include some buttocks kicking… and by buttocks, I mean mine! We gotta get a move on this thing here. So many things to conquer yet! I hope you all have a fabulous holiday season. Enjoy the family and friends and food (all things in moderation is gonna be my motto). And to those who are dreading the holidays due to a loss… my prayers and thoughts are with you… big hugs sent from my end. Thank you all for sticking with me… it is always appreciated…
Y’all… it’s Christmas week!!!! Can you even believe it? I swore I heard reindeer hooves on my rooftop the other night… and madre in her MuuMuu, and I in my paper bag of embarrassment had just settled down for a long winter’s nap (SERIOUSLY!?!?!? Is that a thing? I thought it was called hibernation, but y’all… I’m totally the first one to volunteer to nap through winter… straight up! Call me, Sleep Clinic!) I guess it’s time I start my Christmas shopping. Oops… did I do that!?
Tonight we had our annual “Neighborhood Christmas Program,” which is an ironic name since it really isn’t a neighborhood. If so it’s a really spread out neighborhood… basically it’s a bunch of folk from two different wards congregating in the church to listen to talented folk sing and play Christmas music. I look forward to it every year because it always brings the Christmas spirit. This town has a bunch of talented folk. So many they usually leave a chunk of the talent out… let’s face it… the program would be 47 hours long if every talented person participated.
I had to laugh, though… of the 7 performances, 3 of us chose the exact same song… Oh Holy Night for the win! They should have just changed the name of the program to Oh Holy Night… Again and Again and Again… and if you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Y’all neighborhood peoples… let’s coordinate it up for next year… why don’t we all sing different versions of Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer! Start practicing now… I’m already borrowing one of Madre’s camel-print muumuus for the occasion.
I wasn’t complaining, though. I’d have to say that Oh Holy Night is on my list of top 5 favorite Christmas songs EVER… EVER! This week I’ve decided to share those top 5 favorite Christmas songs, in no particular order… mostly because no one will be reading blogs this week… and secondly, because I love Christmas music! There are countless versions of this song… one of my favorite is definitely Celine Dion’s version. She has the gift of SANGING… no doubt about it.
Question of the Day: Do you have a favorite version of this song? Tell me whose version I’m missing out on in the comments!
Welcome to the Naaaayyyyyy-borhood Christmas party! That’s right… I did it.
I mentioned in a past post about Madre and her love for all things Nativity and scene. You can’t blame the woman… the Nativity scene represents a very sacred time and is the true reason for the season. I’m all for it. That is, until you see how many she has on display in the same general area. Baby Jesus was born approximately 5 bajillion times just in her living room alone! Her goal is to collect a Nativity scene from every country that she visits. This is a fairly new goal, so her collection isn’t representative of all the countries she has been to. She just heard a rumor that another couple in town has over 150 Nativity scenes displayed around their house. THAT WILL NOT DO!! Keeping up with the Kardashians’ errr, the Jones’ is quite the task. Next year I’m probably going to have to dress up like a shepherd and sit out on the front lawn for the whole month of December. Take that Jones’ family… I have me a life-sized BREATHING Nativity! Who wants to volunteer to be the camel? We’re also looking to fill the role of the sheep and the shepherd’s staff? Pay is nothing… maybe some stale fruit cake… and frost bite is not included on the health insurance forms… oh, I mean… what health insurance?
This is just a sampling of her scenes… The funny thing about Madre is that she wants help setting up the decorations, but then I’ll set something up and she comes right behind me and rearranges it! She will say she doesn’t do that… but y’all know who to believe. The girl without the camel-print muumuu!!
The Christmas tree… with the crooked star on the top. What!? We be tall, but we ain’t that tall!! Plus, my torso is approximately 4 times the length of my arms. Short, stubby arms and legs… LONG butt torso! Call Guinness!
Madre’s pride and joy. She painted these ceramics years ago when I was just a child… they’ve survived many a frigid winter in the garage and many a move without breaking. KNOCK ON WOOD! Stay strong, Mr. and Mrs. Claus!
These are cute. Sister, Lindsay actually made this advent-type calendar for Madre last year. They’re little spools, with the numbers 1 through 25 on adorbs paper… and then each day you take the number off of the clothesline and you open it up and read what you’re supposed to do that day… to help you count your way down to Christmas.
Here’s y’alls Christmassey assignment for this weekend. Make it healthified and enjoy the sounds of the season. Report back on Mondee!
Question of the Day: What is your favorite Christmas Decoration? Is it something you made or something with sentimental value?
Just a little update from yesterday’s post… Madre wanted me to mention that her new robe was not the pictured white lion/zebra print because she had changed her mind and decided to go for the brown giraffe print, which was equally as gag inducing… plus, I hear giraffe totally makes your neck look big. Not something I’d want with all the draculas and vampires roaming the earth these days. I’m looking at you, Pasty Edward!
Meanwhile, back in the gum drop forrest of the real humans… tonight I hung out at ShopKo and talked to a tree. She was such a sap… bwahahahahahaha… okay, Laffy Taffy I gots you another lamified joke for your wrappers! A couple of my friends and I (wut up, Karrie and Rachel) decided to forego gift giving to each other this year and put the money we would have spent on each other toward a little boy or girl on the Angel Tree. Righteous, gnarly dudes! Half the fun of it is being able to shop for a kid who wouldn’t get much for Christmas otherwise. Plus, I got to talk to trees and a sparkly poinsetta (right… I’m tucked away back in my padded room… get off the ledge, readers!)
We picked a 7-year-old girl mostly because we’re girls and we know what girls like… um… back in the 80s, I mean. Apparently, now-a-days kids have to play with all of these weird toys. I did not see one Fraggle Rock item! And my girl, Jem and The Holograms (she’s truly, truly, truly outrageous) did not have one Barbie Doll dedicated to her pink-haired highness! The girl we picked wanted something called a Monster High doll. Um.. WHAT!?!? Firstly, ain’t never heard of it. Secondly, the only monster I care to own is the Cookie Monster… and that’s only because he makes a mean oatmeal chocolate chip cookie.
Meet “Ghoula Yelps” who is literally DEAD TIRED! She also has a grey, pasty face, blue hair, and a friend named Draculaura who has fangs and a pink head. Oh my laws… what are these dolls!?!?!?!? Does Draculaura come with a blood drinking kit? Just wondering so I can cancel my next blood transfusion at Monster High. As my good pal, Jem and the Holograms would say… show’s over Synergy… DEFINITELY over!
We also picked her out a sensible pair of pants and a shirt and a pair of pajamas. I was mostly upset that the friends did not go along with my idea to go the Bieber Fever shirt route. He had a whole dagnabbed wall in the little girl’s section dedicated to clothing with his face on it. I tried to fit one over my gob of a head, but didn’t make it past my eyeball. New life goal: Fit into Bieber Fever shirt… be arrested by pedophile po-lice! All in all it was a fun time. I’m planning on going back again with the family to get another name… but until then… cross off Monster High from all of my wish lists… she gave me nightmares!
Question of the Day: What toy(s) do you remember most from your childhood?
I hate winter. Hate it. That attitude needs adjusted and STAT because you know what happens with we emotional eaters when we feel an unpleasant emotion… major raid on the gummy bear stash!! I like the month of December, minus the coldness and darkness part of it all, because there is always something going on. I always have these grand ideas that I’m going to get all of this stuff in during the month of December and then January hits and I look back at what I’ve accomplished and it’s pretty much nothing. TV watching… check. Sitting on butt on couch cushion… check. Watching wall paint dry… check. Drooling out both sides of mouth… crusty check. PATHETICALLY LAME!! I’m determined that will not happen this December… I repeat… THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN!
I’ve decided I’m going to revert to my inner 5-year-old child for the month of December. Santa Claus is real, y’all (he is)! There’s magic in the air and it smells like Teen Spirit… errr… I mean gingerbread men. To kick my butt into gear and to show myself that I’m serious about this gig, I went and made me up a collage… a collage of all of the things I want to do this holiday season. When January hits, I’m making me up another collage. A collage of things I want to do during the winter. It’s good to have things to look forward to so I’m not overwhelmed by the depressing snowy, inversiony, cold air, walking around with my SAD disorder on full display!
Why yes I’m a professional collage maker… why do you ask? No matter that I cut the sleeve of my shirt whilst making this sucker… I’m also pretty sure the Kindergarten called and wanted their glue sticks and safety scissors back. Brief explanations of my sloppage:
- Charity/gift giving: Angel tree and service… fo’ sho!
- Christmas Movies: Gotta get my favorites in this year… A Christmas Story, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (already done), Mr. Krueger’s Christmas, It’s A Wonderful Life, White Christmas, Home Alone, and a new one yet to be determined.
- Christmas Music: Mindy Gledhill has a new Christmas album out… LOVE Mindy. Also need to listen to The Carpenters (Karen Carpenter is my fave, fave, FAVE), The Forgotten Carols, Harry Connick, Jr., Michael Buble, Amy Grant, Andy Williams, and Babs!
- Sing, Sing, Sing!! Got me 4 or 5 Christmassey singing gigs this year. Singing makes me happy. KNOCK ON WOOD that I don’t catch the cruditits voice ruiner! - Christmassey Food (in moderation): I’m making and decorating sugar cookies this year… mark my words. Most to give away, but I have to have a couple! Hot chocolate… on the list… our annual Christmas Eve fondue par-tay… on the list. And oranges… juicy delectable oranges! - Christmassey Books: I bought the new book Jacob T. Marley, which I plan on reading. Then, I’ll get in some heartwarming short stories… you know, the ones best read while PMSing. Plus, I have a gaggle of children’s books I need to read through again. - Christ centered… most importantly, I need to remember what the real reason of the season is. Madre is helping because she only has approximately 8 bajillion manger scenes… I’ll post pictures another time, but apparently he was born 3000 different times in her living room!
Question of the Day: What are you looking forward to doing this holiday season?
If y’all don’t like Michael Buble, I don’t think we can be friends! Heads up to the M. Buble fans. He has a new TV Christmas special featuring him and guests like Bieber Fever on December 6th, NBC… be there or be square… drooling! Gadfrey… stop it, y’all… that’s just NASTY! Bieber Fever is illegal for 95% of us!!
) It’s amazing how fast the season goes by when you’re not even paying attention. I spent the first half of the month oblivious in la-la land, working and studying. Time to enjoy the last week with Christmas songs and stories and movies… and memories. Remember that one time I got my tongue stuck to a flag pole? What’s that you say? That wasn’t me? Cork it and pretend it was… it’s a good story for the young’uns!
