Thanking My Lucky Clementines…

Y’all… run out to the nearest grocery bin and buy up all the Cutie clementines!  They are finally in season and mark my words when clementines are in season they are in season for approximately 52 minutes before the nastier Cutie mandarins come in and take their place.  I’ve held a grudge against the nastarins (nasty + mandarins = nastarins) since I figured out the sly trick they pull every year.  Right now I have 3 bags of clementines for me alone… will that be enough to last the whole winter?  NO!  I need more!  Someone check back with me in 2 weeks and ask me how many moldy rancid clementines I have.   Answer… at least 3 bags give or take how many more I buy between now and then in my panic to preserve clementine season.


It’s that time of year… the time of year I quit being crusty for 4-1/2 seconds and reminisce about the things I’m thankful for… this year and every year.  Again, broken record here, but I’m just going to point out that the things I’m thankful for every year rarely change.  Funny how that works.  I guess if I can continue being thankful for the same things year after year after year, that is only ever a good thing, and must mean that those things I’m thankful for every year are constants and not fleeting flash in the pan happinesses.  I’d say that requires another bag of clementines in celebration.  CLEMENTINES FOR EVERYONE!  Without further adieu, my thankfulnesses 2015 version, in no particular order.

I’m thankful for my family, for the people they are and the support they show me.  It’s nice to know that a group of wild hyenas have my back at all times… even if most of those times they may or may not want to stab me in it… understood… I’ve seen it all on 48 Hours: Mystery.  I’m thankful for my innocent sweet baby BoBo and his ability to bring us all together and make us all smile and remember what this life is all about.


Side note:  Madre is a serious baby BoBo hog and everyone on all sides of the family know what to do when she is around… tie her to the nearest chair and haul off to the next county with the baby in tow.

I’m thankful for sweet friends, those who I may not see or talk to on a regular basis, but when we do get together it’s like no time has passed at all.  I truly cherish the friendships I have made over the years and am thankful for all that you put up with to remain my pal.  CLEMENTINES FOR YOU ALL READING THIS!

I’m thankful for gifts and talents that I’ve been blessed with.  It’s easy for me to compare myself to others, and when I do I fall 8 billion miles short on all fronts, but I fail to remember that I’m here to be Whitney… unique in abilities and talents.  I’m a conglomeration of all the things God saw fit to bless me with, and to take those for granted would be doing a big disservice to my Heavenly Father and to myself.  I’m thankful for my ability to become one with a song, one with the lyrics and the music until it’s like I’m living whatever journey the song is taking me on.  I’m thankful for my interpretive skills and for the joy, peace, and comfort that singing brings me.  I recently did a 45-minute singing and nondancing program at the Maple Springs Assisted Living in Brigham City a week or so ago.  I found myself griping about feeling flustered trying to get off work, and drive the 30+ miles each way in the middle of a work day.  Madre asked why I always say yes, and it was only then it hit me… because that’s where I get my joy.  Those sweet assisted living folks aren’t the benefactors, I am.  So, thank  you for indulging me and letting me find my joy on occasion.  In the meantime, I’ll sit down and shut up on the griping front.

I am thankful for a God who is quite the painter of beauty.  The nature that he blesses us all with, ever changing with the seasons, is something that I never get tired of looking at… and attempting to photograph on my 0.000000555 pixel camera phone.  My majestic mountains that let me know I’m home… the trees like tall spindly kindred spirits.  One of my favorite things to do is to watch the clouds.  Those fluffy balls of cotton roaming amidst an ocean of blue sky bring me so much peace.

I’m thankful for my freedom and the ability I have to geezerify my way through college at the ripe old age of 20 plus 90.  I’m also grateful that there is now a light at the end of my neverending schooling tunnel.  When I first began 4 or 5 years ago now,  I was overwhelmed by how long it was going to take me to finish only going part time so that I could also work full time.  The thought of it made me want to quit on the spot, but I’ve stuck with it.  I’ve surpassed every negative “can’t do it” thought and busted my way through to near completion… me, the girl who is known for starting things but never finishing them.

I’m thankful for a job, a roof over my head (even if I daydream way too often about a place of my own), food on the table (too much of it most times, but food nonetheless), my best kitty Lucy-Fur (even if she’s annoying the heck out of me at nights now that it is getting cold and she wants in and out of the house 1200 times per night).  I’m grateful to live in a country where we have access to clean water and education and freedoms that some countries don’t even get to dream of.

I’m thankful for so many more things, but this is getting long and my eyes are getting heavy, so I’ll stop here for now.  I’m thankful for all of you!  Now, go out and buy you some dagnabbed clementines!


Makayla and Corbin and I played a game of… uh… who knows?  Pretty sure there were no rules until I broke one, and then they made sure to announce the new rule on the spot!

I’d also like to introduce you to a special guest we had to dinner tonight.  An original cast member from the Ten Commandments movie wearing her costume and everything!!!  For those of you who consider my mom a fashionista, I’d like to introduce you to her Sunday evening attire…


I rest my case…

Baby BoBear has discovered hims cute tongues…

Happy THANKSGIVING this week y’all!  If you’re traveling, do it safely.  If you’re not traveling, eat some turkey wearing Madre’s Sundee finest in her honor!


Filed under Life, Little Things, Uncategorized


If anyone feels the need to adopt a giant overgrown woman child named Whitney now’s your chance.  I come with self-cleaning and self-cooking apps, so no need to fret over that.  I also make a mean handwashing police if you need someone to stand next to the sink and remind your kids they should wash their hands approximately once every 5 seconds.  You might want to store a baseball bat in the convenient under sink location, because after 30 seconds of the reminders, all bets are off.  Some people don’t even make it that long.

Why the need for grown woman child adoption papers?  I’m pretty much couchless as of Saturday night, and I do not know what to do with myself or myself’s rear receptacle.  Madre got a wild hair on Saturday morning and decided to try to sell the couch, chair, and ottoman on KSL classifieds.  Remembering she tried to sell a couch once before and not a one person bit, I was sure this would be the same outcome… until some dude came out on Saturday night, mere hours after she put the ad up, and paid cash for all 3 items!  So, now I’m couchless.  It’s like I’m wandering the streets of Vegas nekked and frantic, except with clothing.  Meanwhile, some poor people in Africa are smiling whilst sitting on a pile of cow dung… first world problems… expert complainer at your service.


In other news, I’m having major senioritis this semester… there are 4 weeks left of fall semester and I have approximately zero “give a craps” left for homework and reading purposes.  The other day I wrote a 4 page paper using a thesaurus.  I just scrolled through the words, found the most impressive and giant ones and made sure those suckers were included.  I’m banking on the fact that a music professor does not read papers… but I’m guessing that is probably like saying a nerd never plays chess.  Not gonna happen, my geeks!  As for my Italian class… let’s just say if I ever accidentally get lost in Italy and no one around me speaks anything but Spanish and/or Italian, I’m dying in Italy.  If anyone finds my two “give a craps” could you FedEx them to me?  I’m pretty sure they will also carry over into Sprinter semester starting in January too.  One good thing… there is a light at the end of my neverending geezer schooling tunnel.  I can see the light… I hope I can crawl on all fours toward it in the next year.

SNOW!  Take a hike off a steep cliff down a ravine and far away from me!

This is Baby BoBo’s impersonation of the Donald Trump Windbag hairdo… kind of swoopy… but Baby BoBo is a lot cooler and smarter too!  :P

Also, could you just even with those cheekins!

BoBear thinks he’s pretty hilarious at the Sam’s Club with Auntie Whitty Woo!


Filed under School

Brooks, Yearwood, and Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother…

History repeats itself, they say (stop it you they people) and I’ve certainly repeated my history too many times to count.  I better just not even bother making a list.  First part of September sometime, I learned that Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood were coming to Salt Lake City for the first time in like 17 years.  As a teeny bopper I listened to Garth Brooks’s greatest hits cassette tape like it was going out of style the next day (side note:  the cassette tape had already gone out of style, but I like to hold onto the geezer technology ways for as long as possible… plus my parents were still playing their record player, so I couldn’t see them buying my butt a CD player… as if their hair follicles were made of million dollar bills!)  Also, Trisha Yearwood is like one of my voice idols and I pretty much owned every single last one of her CDs after I had turned 16 and got a job to pay for them.

I convinced Madre that we needed to go (although she was NOT as excited as I was) and so we geared up to hop on the computers the morning the tickets went on sale.  I pride myself on being a ticket snagging queen… I have specifications of what kind of tickets I want (aisle seat, on the floor, no nose bleeds allowed), and I’m pretty persistent in getting my way in that regard, but Garth Brooks tickets… that’s a whole ‘nother beast in and of itself.

Madre and I hopped on the computer at 9:00 that morning to get in the invisible online ticket que… even thought the tickets weren’t to go on sale until 10:00.  CoughcoughGEEKScoughcough… that’s kind of like hanging out at the Star Wars convention invisible chatroom.  When 10:00 hit, we tried every trick in the book, getting seats, putting them back, getting back in line… etc., ad nauseum… waiting for the precious aisle floor seats to pop up… but they never came.  Every seat we got on 3 computers and 2 phones was in the upper bowl nosebleed section in the middle of a dagnabbed row.  PASS!!!  They added 2 more shows to the 2 they started with and still the same results… nosebleed, nosebleed, nosebleed.  After a few hours, we finally gave up the ghost and I decided to try to talk myself into not wanting to go.  Weeks passed and I had convinced myself it would be a hassle to go anyway.  Totally talked myself out of it.  I truly did NOT want to go.  It was during this time that Madre decided she REALLY wanted to go… we usually agree on things, but never at the same time.

The day before the 4 concerts began, we hopped on KSL Classifieds, found us some dagnabbed seats (NOT on the floor, but aisle seats and lower bowl would have to pass), and so I went through my usual anxiety process of deciding I might not go anyway… what if the seat was too small… too much trouble… too much traffic… too too too too…  Such is the life of my brain every time I go anywhere right up until I’m actually sitting at the event.  The seats?  FREAKING AWESOME…

Oh hi, Big G!  Plus, the seats were the ones without arms and padded, not the usual stadium seating… how lucky could a ball of anxiety gal get?

By the by… if you were wondering… Garth Brooks can put on a dang show, sons and daughters.  Firstly, he’s like the Energizer Bunny on 12 different kinds of caffeine and a no-doze IV.  He spent nearly 3 hours sprinting around the stage, jumping onto dangerous scaffolding and throwing water at the audience… all while still singing.  Uh… I could barely hold my phone up to take a picture while singing, so I have no idea how one does all that in this altitude!

It happened to be this past Saturday, Halloween.  So, there were a bunch of people wearing costumes… 2 rows in front of me sat an older lady dressed as Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother who was overly excited every time someone wearing a costume walked by her and had to take a picture of them.  I’m not sure who she was there for… the costumes or Brooks/Yearwood.  Either way, she brought in all sorts of illegal substances as well… a gallon-sized water bottle from home filled with some sort of mystery “juice.”   Probably prune juice… Cinderella was big on that.

About halfway through, Trisha Yearwood appeared straight out of the floor to sing her duet with Garth, In Another’s Eyes.  It was a surprise to Garth (re: his reaction in the video below) that she happened to be dressed as Elphaba, the wicked witch with green skin from the musical Wicked.

Not gonna lie… it was a bit weird hearing that magnificent voice come out of a green face.  But, I support all colors of voices… puke orange, purple, green… It’s not easy being green…. so says Kermit.  My only complaint… Trisha didn’t sing long enough!  She had 5 songs and an encore at the end.  I guess I’ll just have to dig out my 85 CDs and listen to those instead.

For anyone who wants to experience Friends In Low Places.  Note the falling paper streamers at the end!

The finale… green-faced Trisha dressed down singing Walk Away Joe while Garth accompanied her on the gee-tar.

We interrupt this concert recap to bring you cute Baby Weird-Hatted Fireman BoBo.  He had a shift at the fire department Halloween night, so I’m sure that’s what happened to the hat.

… and scene…

Was it worth the anxiety and the ticket issues… as they say in Cowboyville… yer darn tootin’ Trudy!   One of the best concerts I’ve been to (on par with Celine Dion).  I’m not sure if Madre would agree… tell the people Madre?   Brooks/Yearwood… don’t make it another 20 years before you come back to SLC again!   You can leave Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother in the fairy tale, though.


Filed under Life

October Colors Bring November Browns…

April showers bring May flowers ain’t got nothing on the new fall version I done just made up.  Except it doesn’t so much rhyme… I’ll work on that.  Poe wasn’t born in a day… or maybe he was.  The things you think about when you are procrastinating doing your homework usually don’t make any sense.  Just a little glimpse into my daily empty brain syndrome.

Before I go any further, I just wanted to thank all you friends for your sweet birthday wishes.  It’s not as exciting as it used to be to turn another year older.  It just means another ache will appear and eeyore’s cloud will barf all over my negative brain.  I don’t have a lot to say right now, so we’ll just move on to the pictures… a picture is worth a thousand words, so this here blog post is actually pretty dang too long.  You are welcome.

Going to go out on a limb here and say that these folks really are fans of the cemetery/dead people decoration look.  I mean, whatever floats your boat.

They’re breaking my heart here… starting the dig up the canal/cut down tree phase of making the canal water run underground in the backyard.  Way to ruin my future backyard pictures, city!

Happy Fall, y’all sweet people.


Filed under Little Things

Uh… I’m Here…

Not gonna lie… didn’t really want to write up a post tonight.  I’m cranky and I’m tired and I made some statements in last week’s post that I’m not prepared to set in place at this exact moment on the spinning globe.  But, one way to get over cranky block is to just type nonsensically until you’ve spewed forth all of your crankiness.  I just made that up, but it sounds very official, don’t it?

We ventured up to ole Burley, Idee-ho yesterday for a get together with long lost Alaskan cuzzins, Carl, Julie, and their son Bradley who all came down to visit.  Cuzzins Jeannie and Marc were nice enough to have all of us hooligans invade their living space and wreak havoc amongst the furnishings.  Carl had threatened to bring one of his freshly slaughtered caribou heads to boil for a soup, but heavenly angels prevented there from being room in his suitcase!  See… someone is watching out for me!  Such a shame… I was really looking forward to dry heaving from the smell of it all.  Next time, cuzzin Carl… next time.

There were only a handful of cuzzins and such that joined the par-tay… but they were the fun ones (winkwinknudgenudge… they made me say that).  I made my presence known when I arrived… because like this body don’t stand out enough as it is.  As soon as they opened the door to let us in, I managed to drop an entire pint-sized container of Frederico’s ranch dressing on the ground… 2 inches from the inside of the door and the carpet (THANK ALL THAT BE HOLY!!!)  Oh Klutz-itney must be here!  They all said with a knowing glance.  I then made the host clean it up… made isn’t the proper word because he insisted he’d just hose it off when I arrived armed with a paper plate and one paper towel.  Apparently I was just going to scoot it along the drive 7 feet to the gutter.  That’s right… I leave a trail of the awesome stuff wherever I go!   The real tragedy is that no one thought to come out armed with a bag of carrot sticks to sit on the ground and eat the dressing!  Frederico’s ranch ain’t nothing to be ashamed of, y’all!

Madre and cuzzin Jacque.  Jacque just had a LASIK-like surgery on her eyes the day before and was sworn off from wearing makeup for a month.  She’s one of those annoying people who look good without makeup.

Mary Jean, Julie, Bradley, Jeannie, and Carl sans caribou heads!

Jacque and her Daughters of Utah Pioneers glasses… Merle… get me the ranch dip mix!

I hate this picture of me… but I’m posting it anyway… look at Cuzzins Carl and Bradley instead!

Cuzzins Bill and Sandy and Bill’s son, Tommy.

Cuzzin Garth and Padre.

Uncle Gene and Mary Jean.

Thanks for coming, Carl, Julie, and Bradley and for not bringing the caribou head, but most importantly, thank you Jeannie and Marc for allowing me to ranch dressing-inize your driveway.  I do it better than the best of them!


These cutie patootie sweethearts gave me a surprise birthday balloon and decorations at Sundee dinner tonight.  And the googly-eyed cow is almost the spitting image of me, so it was totally appropriate!

And I didn’t even have any ranch to spill!  Let’s not forget the awesome beach/ocean cake, which as soon as I walked in Makayla told me was a secret and then 5 minutes later she couldn’t hold it in any longer and the secrets were all spilled!  That’s my kind of secret!

Already spoiled and still the same age for a few more days!  Thank you, Ryan, Angie, Makayla, and Corbin for thinking of me and making me smile!


Filed under Family

Blessings and Bothers…

A lot of things went down this week.  Too many to keep track of in the miniscule part of my brain that retains memory.  And by too many, I really only mean like 3 or 4 things worth noting.  There were 12 billion things not worth noting, but I didn’t note them, so you can all thank me later.  I went to a crafty Holiday Happenings night on Wednesday wherein I learnt me how to make a crafty pumpkin out of dental floss and a 2×4, give or take a few more or less ingredients.  Move over, MacGyver!  I also lost a sewing needle way down deep inside the crafty pumpkin, so kids… do not attempt to eat Whitty Woo’s crafty pumpkin.  I hold no responsibility when a needle gets lodged in your throat.  Whitty Woo’s don’t let the children eat crafty pumpkins.

I went to a hoedown shindig put on by the American Festival Chorus and Orchestra with special guests, Cold Creek Bluegrass Band.  I sat by a lady who wore too much perfume and enjoyed chatting and asking me questions like… Is that instrument a guitar?  What’s that other instrument ?  Oh, you mean the other guitar?  So, basically it was a learning experience for all of us.  They put on a good show, though.  It was in the style of an old timey country radio show with some wickedly delightfully cringeworthy dad jokes… example:  Name that sound… a loud fart… Momma is that you?   You all should remember how much I enjoy that potty humor!!!!  Insert sarcasm here… but the other jokes that did not include the potty humor were delightfully cringeworthy!  The singing and banjo/fiddle picking were great as well.

There was also my favorite BoBo’s baby blessing on Sunday.  Lindsay and Shayne had us all come over to their house after for bread bowls with 4 kinds of soup and a dessert-a-ganza.  I made a pot of chili for the festivities and worried the rest of the day about my beans getting mushy in the crockpot.  No one likes mushy beans, y’all!  NO ONE!   BoBo was a trooper and didn’t even cry once… even when 10 guys were bouncing him in a circle.

This was the blessing outfit Lindsay picked out for the occasion.  Shayne, Christian, and Ethan all gave it a gigantic thumbs down saying it made him look like a sheep.  I thought of this really great dad joke for the occasion that was met with crickets.  You should stick a note on his rear for when people leave… Thank Ewe For Coming!  Bwahahahahahahaha… Oh my laws… ** Crickets **  

My humor is obviously way too high brow for most people.

BoBo just loved him’s new sheepy outfit!


That last photo is courtesy of E when the 3 bros were hanging out together at church!  Thank EWE for coming family!


In bothering news… I had a less than stellar doctor’s visit and results this past week.  Less than dang stellar.  I’m disappointed in myself and a little bit annoyed… but, I can’t sit around dwelling on my annoyedness, I have to move forward.  This blog may look a bit different in the coming days/weeks.  I’m going to have to start getting back into a better plan for my health… it’s crucial that I do.  There are no more excuses.  No more tomorrow I’ll starts… it’s today… it’s RIGHT NOW!  If anyone wants to hop on board with me, you are welcome.  The more the merrier.



Filed under Family

Rainy Days And Mondays…

… always get me down. Fifty points to whomever can tell me who sings that song!  Think velvet… because just think it.  Rainy days don’t usually get me down unless I have plans to be outside doing something.  I love a good day full of dark cloud play.  There’s just something mysterious and beautiful about an angry sky.  Mondays on the other hand… let’s talk, Monday… stop sucking!  For grieveness sakes…

To add to the rainy day beautifulness, it was also LDS General Conference weekend.  I always enjoy General Conference weekend… even if I did also have to work this weekend.  It is nice to try to settle my ADD brain down and listen to the spiritual messages wearing non-itchy comfy clothing… although this year also freezing my patookus off because some people like having all the windows and doors open… not naming names.  There were some great messages and even a display of pure strength and perserverance by our sweet, hard-working prophet, President Monson.

My motivation was down in the gutter, though.  I had made plans to make homemade applesauce in the crockpot using the 8 billion apples I’ve purchased over the last few weeks (totally addicted to crunchety apples, y’all).  I found me a recipe but then stared at the 9 billion apples (yes, another billion appeared while I was staring) like they were some sort of deadly fungus I shouldn’t touch.  AKA… I couldn’t see myself peeling and coring and cutting 10 billion apples!  So, the 11 billion apples still sit on the counter and here I am, Whitney Of the Lazy Bottom Brigade, blogging about not peeling them.  Also, it takes 800 years to pull out the crockpot from underneath the 12 billion pots and pans on top of it.  It’s just way too much time to be away from a chair.  Maybe I’ll wait until the apples are all black and blue and mushy and moldy and then I can just throw them all in a big bowl and mash them with a tater masher.  Ta Da… crapplesauce!  Does anyone have any magical applesauce-making fairies they’d be willing to borrow me?  I pay horribly, but there will be jokes.

Madre and I stopped into the brand new Logan location of Tai Pan Trading… which compared to the version down south is SMALL!!!!!

And horror of horrors, there were displays like this already:

Santa, take Rudolph back to the North Pole until after Thanksgiving… stat!

There was a visit by Bat Ninja and Bobble Gal…

That’s the face of a Bat Ninja!  Beware thy candy!  Bobble gal is so-named because we made the necklace to match the bracelet.  All in all twas a good weekend… even if my 13 billion apples still remain untouched.  Bring a baseball bat, applesauce-making fairies… Whitney needs a swift tap upside the motivation bone.

BoBo picture of the week… I can relate BoBo… Auntie Whitty Woo can totally relate!

Pretty sure he’s saying, “I shouldn’t have eaten that whole bag of peanut butter M&Ms… what is this belly?!?”

QUESTION OF THE DAY:  How was your weekend?  Did you do anything festive?

PPS –  Happiest of happy birfdays to my sweet pal, Alena this week!!  I can’t believe you are already 25!  My how time flies.  WinkWinkNudgeNudge


Filed under Family