Y’all… the humiliation is real… and also the bruising. Whitney’s famous face-planting status is alive and well, except I wouldn’t really call it well because seriously, what’s well about living with your head implanted in an ant hill? Nothing. I rest my case. This past Thursday evening I was out woggercizing with a friend when my left rocking horse shoe hit half on the paved sidewalk and half on the grass, turning my ankle and before I knew what was going on, I was cavorting with the earth worms. But, it’s fine y’all because my knee and right leg broke my fall. I’d post a picture of the horror that is my right leg, but I’ll save you all from having to stare at the ugliness of the pasty white against a black and blue and purple background that spreads from mid-shin to above my knee. My friend said I was very graceful whilst falling with this face plant, after which I laughed for 20 minutes straight because have you seen me be graceful… ever!?!? I rest my case. I imagine it’s more like an oversized, under-inflated basketball because I’m pretty sure I bounced at least twice. In short, strained left ankle, banged up right knee, bruising, whiplash, felt like I got run over by a dump truck the next several days (still ongoing), and an ego the size of a pea brain… but nothing broken… Someone was watching out for me, y’all! You don’t fall weighing this much and come off without breaking something that often. KNOCK ON WOOD! I would also like to give a shoutout to the 82 passing cars and 15 dudes mowing the condominum lawns… y’all owe me for the show I just put on!
Having taken a handful of psychology classes and also having typed and/or listened to psychology reports on a daily basis, I think I’m pretty qualified to diagnose my disease… coughcoughrealpsychologistslookawaynow. It’s day 15 without sugar and so the little gremlins that make the cogwheels move around in my brain are all like, WTH!?!? Where’s our IV drip of cookies and chocolate!?!?!? I’m pretty sure one of the gremlins subliminally saw a cookie on the pavement that day, except it was just a mirage. Kind of like those people who are thirsty in the desert and they keep seeing like 12 fresh water lakes in the distance… except with cookies and sugar deprivation. So, the gremlin was all like, activate klutz bone, thus the ankle turned and I was gnawing on the pavement pebbles as if they were chocolate chips. DIAGNOSIS: Sugar-coating the pavement! What’s the cure? Probably more sugar, but you’ll have to work a lot harder than that, dear gremlins!
This weekend was hard on the not eating sugar front, but I amazed myself and passed with flying colors! Is it just me or does anyone else feel that they are entitled to eat cake every time there is a holiday? Just me? Okay then. I feel like special food is required on special days and/or days without my usual routine. Suckers… try again next Independence Day! I can’t say I’ve missed sugar these last few weeks until I think about it… and then I start to want it something fierce. I guess it’s a good thing my brain only works once every 4 days now. Yesterday I made my favorite All Bran breakfast muffins and totally left out the sugar (it calls for half a cup normally). They still taste fine. I probably wouldn’t have said that 2 weeks ago, but now that I’m eating dates for my sugar fix, they’re just fine and dandy.
Hi’s everyone… me and gramma goes on a walk!
Happy 9 months, Baby BoBo!!
My daddy did my hairs to match his!
I hope we all take a few moments this Memorial Day to remember those brave men and women who have fallen so that we could live in this free country. The sacrifices they and their families have made are above and beyond anything I could ever fathom doing. Much love and respect from me to those who have served and are serving. Thank you!