That Ain’t Chocolate!!!!

It is Friday and I know that you are all anticipating my post so you can make up your Saturday grocery lists!  What’s that you say, my head won’t fit through the door?  Inflation these days.  For we calorizing folks, I’ve taken on quite the burden… I try new calorizing foods so you don’t have to.  You can thank me later… I accept checks, Visa, Mastercard, and money orders.  Pats on the back are not acceptable!

My new food this week was VitaTops Vitamuffin Vitalicious Vita… who knows what they’re called… let’s just all agree that they are little brown discs with chocolate chips pressed into the top.  These are also vitasucktastic… I mean… let’s call a brown disc a brown disc here, but I mean that in only the nicest way possible.  All that vita-thesearethebestthingsintheworld writing on the box probably got to my head. 

First of all… let’s face it… I am a chocolate connoisseur… I’ve eaten enough chocolate in my 32 years to put the cocoa bean companies head honcho’s children and their children’s children through college at Harvard.  I’ve also squandered a small fortune (LOL!!!) adding chocolate fat to my thighs.  I know me some chocolate… newsflashthis ain’t chocolate!!   It looks like chocolate… it kind of tastes like chocolate… but it ain’t chocolate.  Just trust me on this.  The duck ain’t quacking!  I guess I might be being overly dramatic… these are fine if you’re looking for something for 100 calories that sort of resembles a brown disc, but I’d much rather go for the real thing and eat a bit less of it.  Vitacrap… I give you 3 stars out of 10!  Never, EVER masquerade as chocolate around my house, suckers!

Question of the Day:  Has anyone tried these?  There are different flavors… are any of those good?

Have a fabulous weekend, y’all!  See you all again on Mondee… thanks for reading! 




Filed under Chocolate, Food

20 responses to “That Ain’t Chocolate!!!!

  1. MJ5898

    LOL! Excellent reporting – you were a food critic in a former life, right??? When I did WW in 2006, people on the forums raved about the Vitamuffins and Vitatops all the time. But when I read the ingredient list, just could not bring myself to try them. Thanks for braving the Vitatops on our behalf and confirming what I had long suspected – they suck! If you are a muffin person and looking for something that actually tastes good (not chocolate that I could find at Kroger), the premade Fiber One Blueberry Muffins were pretty tasty with a respectable amount of fiber.

    Have a great weekend!!!

    • Haha… yes… totally a food critic… one that uses ain’t and sucktastic! 😛 Funny you should mention those heavenly FiberOne blueberry muffins! Those are one of my favorites. It is on my list to blog about! Delish!

  2. Jen Jen

    I have never tried those but I have a recipe for healthy low fat brownies that uses real cocoa, whole wheat flour, and lowfat yogurt. It is actually good. I will send you a copy sometime.

  3. Avster

    Of course they don’t taste good! Chocolate is bad enough and imitation chocolate just has to be even worse!

  4. I have heard all the hype about these too but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to try them because to are sooo expensive. Thanks for sharing your results. I’ve heard ppl say they heat them up for 30 secs in the microwave to make them gooey and then they taste better. No idea if that will help or not. lol One chocolate item that I think is really good are the Lu – Petit Ecolier Extra Dark Chocolate Cookies. I found them at safeway’s and then again at fry’s/kroger’s and they are 130 calories for 2 but they are really savory. If you try them make sure to pre-portion them out lol 🙂

  5. Jenalee

    Lol! I’ve never had them but they sure don’t look good! Thanks for the info though! Have you ever heard of no fudge pudge? It’s a brownie mix that you make with yogurt and they are really good! But it is kind of pricey too!

  6. They look like imposters of chocolatey goodness and that should be a crime. I’m with you . . . give me less of the real deal. That being said, I made some brownies once with a sugar-free brownie mix and pureed black beans. That is all. If you can get over how nasty the black beans look when you’re mixing it up, the brownies are actually pretty good.

  7. Lindsay Howell

    You forgot to mention that I bought these for you for VALENTINES DAY~! Give me some credit~! Well…good to know they were expensive little beasts!

    Love your sis

  8. Devin

    I actually like them lol. I mirco them for 30 sec and put 1 tbsp peanut butter and a squirt of reddi wip.. yummm.. I do agree the real stuff is best but I do keep them on hand in case I only have 100 or so calories left and need something lol

  9. Laci aka pb2myj

    I have seen good and bad reviews, but I think for the price, EVERY person should love them. lol Everyone I know has agreed with you! 🙂

  10. kim

    I agree!! such a disappointment!!

  11. nycke

    Sucktastic, that’s the perfect way to describe them. For years I have heard people rave about them, I finally gave in to the astronomical price and purchased them (even the guy at the checkout was like,”these are sooo good!”) Liar! They’re awful, please nobody ever waste your money them. I don’t even know what to do with them now; I don’t want to eat another one, I thought of giving them to my three year old who will be excited that he’s getting a cookie shaped object, but they’re too expensive for him!

  12. forget it Whitney, I tried all of them from Whole Foods, and they all taste like cardboard.

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