CONGRATULATIONS… Here’s Some Lard!

We are a society that celebrates everything, big or small, with… FOOD!  Hi, so  you got up this morning… have a triple cheeseburger with lard sauce.  You aced that test… let’s go get 15 scoops of ice cream and make sure we have them just glue it to your hindquarters.  Eating, eating, eating, eating, and eating.  That’s what we do as a society.  We plan parties around food, holidays around food, vacations around food, everyday occurrences around food.  Some of you are saying… duh, Whitney (yah… I ain’t deaf, I hear you), we need to eat food everyday to survive.   Of course we have to eat to live… but this is bordering on living to eat… BIG difference.  Cuff me, Officer All-You-Can-Eat Buffet… I am possibly the WORST offender of the bunch.  I remember even celebrating weight loss when I was 7 with food.  LOL!!  How dumb can that be?  But, I did.  My mom would drop me off at home after the Weight Watcher’s meeting and I’d head straight to the freezer for some mega-sized scoops of ice cream.  I lost a pound… I have to celebrate with some chocolatey frozen goodness… right!?  Absolutely, say the spirits of Ben and Jerry!   

It’s been challenging stopping that cycle while I’ve been calorizing.  I lose 208 pounds and suddenly I’m deserving of all the crap I used to feed myself before.  Gotta celebrate the successes… and I’m too fixed on food to figure out that there are other things that are reward worthy.  I’d rather eat a cinnamon roll the size of my head than buy a new pen… BORING!  Whereas the head-sized cinnamon roll has frosting and they sprinkle nuts on the top in the shape of a smiley face!!!!  Note:  They actually do make cinnamon rolls the size of your head… I even ate one this weekend… 900 FREAKING calories for that whole sucker… 900!  I walked to the Canadian border and back to exercise those calories off… worth it… eh… but I’ve always wanted to go to Canada. 

It may be helpful for me to break up the rest of the weight I have to lose into 10-pound goals… and then every time I reach one of those goals, I get to pick a reward (NONFOOD related!)… that way I don’t find myself ordering the 36-inch pizza with extra cheese because I lost 1.8 pounds last week. 

In other semi-related news… I found a new exercise to try!  On Saturday I went to Ross, Dress for Less or as I like to call it, Ross, Things I Could Need Less But Buy Anyway Because They Have A SALE Sticker For Three Dollars Off The Original Already Inflated Price.  Phew… you can already see why they chose to go with the abbreviated name… couldn’t find a sign big enough to fit the ACTUAL name.  So, I was shopping in that store and came across some boxing gloves… and could I even believe my slightly cataract eyes… they were on sale for 15 dollars… 15!!  Well, obviously I had to scoop up that deal… you can’t beat 15 dollars for the chance to beat someone in the head with a pair of padded mittens… that there is PRICELESS!! 

These babies are Geezer Cat Approved!!

Yah… the 21-year-old geezer cat was even excited about the purchase until I mentioned that she was going to be my sparring partner… never seen that cat get up and go that fast in years!  So far, I haven’t found anyone willing to stand really still like and allow me to hit them in the head with my padded mittens.  Any readers want to volunteer?  I hear it doesn’t do too much harm… according to this interview I saw with Mike Tyson… pretty sure he could still ACE the Kindergarten competency tests!  I’ll keep waiting for my sparring partner to come forward.

In the meantime… gonna have to eventually change the title of this post to CONGRATULATIONS… here’s some Lard-OFF… buy a new outfit and keep the same-sized butt!

Question of the Day:  What are some of the nonfood-related things that you use to reward yourself with?  (I need idears, people!)

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18 Comments

Filed under Calorizing, Childhood, Exercise, Food

18 responses to “CONGRATULATIONS… Here’s Some Lard!

  1. Jen

    It is hard to think of other things than food because it is such a big part of our culture. I am definitely guilty of rewarding myself with ice cream and french fries! Some other things I like to do are allow myself to watch TV, get a pedicure or other salon service, buy some new smelly lotion at Victoria Secret or other new cosmetic item, buy a new book to read and read it, take a long bath, go running outside somewhere beautiful, and last but not least…watch a chick fllick!

    • seth

      I’ll be your punching bag, Jen uses a pair on me so one more person couldn’t hurt anymore that it does now:-)

    • Jen-Jen… thems are some good ideas! I like buying new things… so, what I should do is hold off on buying them until I hit a 10-pound mark!

      By the by… I got your message that you called last night but it was after 10. I will call you tomorrow (today)!

  2. Avster

    I’ll send some of my brothers over when they need a hit or two…

    Cinnamon rolls with nine hundred calories, huh? Sounds like something I’d serve at work!
    I’ll make you some and I’ll leave the icing off as I wouldn’t want to make you be a supplement popper.
    Of course the mailman will do what he’s good at and the package will take two months to arrive and by then you won’t even be tempted to touch a cinnamon roll again. :b

    How do I celebrate an accomplishment? hmm… I suppose it depends on the accomplishment. Sometimes I purchase a book that I’ve been wanting… sometimes I purchase a kitchen utensil… and sometimes I purchase a camera lens. (You can purchase a camera lens and mail it to me. I wouldn’t mind. Just make sure it’s a Canon.)

    Maybe purchase a movie with Kyle Chandler… just make sure he’s not advertising anything in the movie though. 😉

    Or maybe I should design you an inspirational Kyle Chandler poster to hang in your room. :b

    Here’s something to keep in mind though when thinking about my suggestions… in 2009 after doing so well with the baking and the photography categories at the fairs I decided to treat myself to a new kitchen gadget and a new camera lens.
    I believe the kitchen gadget cost me a whopping $3.95; the camera lens cost me a mere $2,000.
    I don’t recommend celebrating the camera way too often.

    • LOL, Avster… when you send the brothers over for the knock in the head (or 20) make sure you give me a heads up so I can clean up the outhouse in the back 40! I like your idea of buying a really expensive item (camera lens) when a big milestone is hit. I also love the idea of sending you the camera lens… what brand did you say it was? Polaroid? 😛

  3. My way of celebrating, after I’ve convinced myself a non-calorizing day is the NOT the best celebratory behavior for weighloss, I walk into my favorite store, look at how cute the mannequins are and then buy that whole out fit. Jewelery and all….in my NEW size.

    It motivates me to stay the same size because I just spent WAY more on clothes than I am used to 🙂

  4. Donna.M

    My dearest Whitney.
    First, I want to say I just wrote you a comment, and Khloe decided to slap the computer so I have no idea if it sent or not.

    Anyways, I have to say I 100% look forward to your blog posts. I laugh my butt off everytime. But I think it is cause mostly I can relate.

    The whole Mike Tyson think was great. He is soooooo annoying. He has the voice of a 12 year old and a killer speech impediment. ” A pppp*spitting* igeon.” Mason and I always tease the commercial when its on. It’s horrible.

    As for the food I like to base on every event, is Puppy Chow, or in most peoples case, “Muddie Buddies” Seriously my FAVORITE thing in the world. My family was all going on a Wendover trip to see some old guy in concert that my dad is obsessed with. Few days before we talked about all the snacks we were going to make and how exciting it was. Mind you its only like a what… four hour drive? If not less, what do I know. I don’t ever drive. Anyyyways. We made soooo much puppy chow and tons of rice crispy treats. I swear I ate my weight in snacks on the way there. Our family basis everything off food. I feel ya. Stupid stupid America. haha

    • Donna! How sweet are you! As for your food… puppy chow? If it is the food I am thinking of is it the chex cereal covered with peanut butter and chocolate and powdered sugar? If so… shoot me and call me Charlie! That there stuff is sinfully delicious!!!

  5. kim

    Since you gave me this idea about non-food rewards, I have my sights set on a day off from work at a 20 lb weight loss. A complete me day..as they say on Jersey Shore…”I’m doing me!”

  6. Dessa Wade

    Ooo, I like the idea of a whole day off from work but I can’t do that every other day like I would want to. I go shopping for a new piece of clothing, whether it be a scarf, pair of shoes or even a kitchen utinsel. I also love pedicures and being pampered in any possible way.

  7. Jacque Hunt

    So why do we always center our social occasions around food? I’m terrible that way. I love to have people over or go out to eat with friends and catch up. And what is at the center of our get-togethers? FOOD!!! I don’t know how to change. Any suggestions? I haven’t really ever rewarded myself for my successes because I can’t seem to stay on track, EVER! Maybe if I found the right reward I would have more success. Perhaps a massage, pedicure or a shopping trip.

    • Jacque! I am at a loss for how we can change the focus of our get togethers. That’s what everyone does… food is always the center of the get together… so maybe we just have to attend said get togethers with our smartness backpacks on… Order sensibly and/or if we are holding the dinner party, make healthy options. I tell you what, if veggies were bad for you and chocolate was good for you, I’d be living in heaven!

  8. Laci aka pb2myj

    I hear you on how our societies are based around food, amazing how many parents/ grandparents show their love with food, usually artery clogging cheese/grease/fried. You know the LARD on our thighs. lol Or how about the sweets? Oh lord my grandma’s house was filled with candies, and sweets, and chips oh my. Soda for days… WTF. Seriously… why hasn’t society realized we’re killing eat other by feeding crap to others? I’ve noticed going out, others always seem to want to pressure me into just cheating one meal, and it’s really hard to explain to them how important the weight loss is to me, and all I see is numbers when I look at yummy foods. But even the times I just have a small bite to savor it, half the time it’s too sweet or too salty for my tastes now, and I really think people need to focus on not necessarily taking away the food from our get togethers, but definitely learn how to make YUMMY alternatives that even skeptics will love, the combinations are out there- I hope it’ll spread to more people, it’s sad that the government even allows so much sodium in foods… seriously- if it causes health issues over time, isn’t it the same as poison?

    As for the boxing gloves whohooo!!! Have you some fun! I want to get me some pink ones someday- boxing is such a great work out!

  9. Pingback: TKOs and Stress Relievers! « craving a life

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