DANGER: Cracks in Sidewalk!!

I’ve learned a lot of things on this journey of mine… 1+1=3… Two wrongs don’t make a right (unless you lie a third time)… Wise men know, only fools rush in… and sweater vests are hip even if you aren’t related to Mr. Rogers.  That’s a lot to pack into a brain the size of a pea, ain’t it?  I don’t remember all of them at the same time, but boy, when the stars align and the valley cell phones aren’t frying my brain cells, I can string together one pretty little Jeopardy answer.  The biggest thing I’ve learned is the danger of sidewalk cracks!!!  They seriously need to think about putting together funding to have big ole yellow signs posted next to every sidewalk crack with a WARNING and flashing red lights.  These buggers can jump right out at you… kind of like Jack Kevorkian at a nursing home square dancing luncheon.  Forget the dangers of cliff jumping and shark wrangling… what the heck about sidewalk walking?

Why have I been rambling on and on for the past 45 years about cracks?  Because they are dangerous and no one else seems to care.  Everyone else is worried about texting while driving and sharing drug needles, so it now rests on my shoulders to inform the general public of the dangers of sidewalk cracking!  For example… THIS can happen to your face:

No, I didn’t just get back from a Mary Kay makeup shindig… although purple is my color… wouldn’t you say?  This was the doing of a leaping crack in the sidewalk.  It wrapped it’s tentacles around my leg and wrestled me to the ground and…

Oh shut up, Whitney…

This was the doing of a CLUTZ (with a capital all the letters!)  I was walkercising one night this past September when I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and had an intimate meeting with the pavement.  I may look bad here, but you shoulda’ seen the pavement!  Pretty sure I taught it a thing or two.  A concussion, a goose egg that is still very tender and hard to the touch, 2 black eyes (this picture was taken a few hours after it happened, the blackness spread down my cheek and into my other eye within a couple of days), road rash on my chin that is still noticeable, and a big ole cut underneath my chin that should have had stitches… not to mention bruises all over my body, and whiplash that lasted for days on end.  I was not a happy camper.  You know it’s bad when you go shopping at Wal-Mart with 2 black eyes and people do double takes… WAL-MART!  Have you seen some of the people that shop there? 

Even though I was bruised and broken, I knew I had to get right back out there and go again, but it was tough at first.  I would walk slowly and cautiously, always looking down at the ground.  I was seriously thinking about borrowing a walker from the local assisted living center just to get in my steps.  Time is a healer of all wounds, though, and just as my bruises faded, the fear that I would trip again eventually faded and I became one with the cracks.

I mean, we all grew up with the saying, “step on a crack, break your mother’s back,” but seriously who thought it would actually happen!

Question of the Day:  Do you have any good exercising injury stories (aka CLUTZES in disguise)? 

Have a good weekend, friends!  Thanks for reading and see you all again on Monday… bring friends if you like!  The more, the merrier!  😀

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21 Comments

Filed under Exercise

21 responses to “DANGER: Cracks in Sidewalk!!

  1. Jen

    I am pretty sure I am the first to post a comment today, since it is 3:50 am. I waited all night just to read your post!You already know my exercise injury story. It happened a couple days after yours! But after hearing all the details of your injuries, I would much rather have a broken hand and skinned knees.

  2. Deanna

    Does being stiff and sore EVERY DAY after exercising count?Actually I think that might have to do something with age. Enjoy reading your blog. It makes me laugh.

  3. Avster

    Well… there is a sign in a nearby town that says “Watch step on even pavement.”

    I suppose my cluztiest injury was when I ran the garage door over my foot. The doors are wooden and slide left and right and I’ve learned that if one has their foot in the way it’s possible to run the door up one’s foot and tear rip a lot of layers of skin off the end of a toe.

    • Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww… that sounds painful and nasty! You know why, right? It’s because you were wearing them dagnabbed sandals. If you wore steel-toed boots like a regular person, that would have never happened! I am going to need to borrow that signage!

  4. Donna

    Oh my lanta!!! I have never laughed so loud in my life. I mean its horrible that you fell BOOOOOO for falling. But seriously you are SUCH a great writer. I laughed so hard I scared Khloe haha.
    I have fell MANY times. I’ve “sprained” my ankle a good…87 million times I swear. I always fall. I fall just standing.
    Literally. A few years ago I went to City of the Rocks with my family and I was standing there just looking at stuff, next thing I knew I was a damn pancake on the floor. Everyone looked at me and was like…” What the hell Donna.”
    Truthfully I have no idea how that even happened. Is it really possible for someone to just STAND there and fall haha.

    Anyways. As always I adore your blog spot. Every story has a sad side, yet you tend to make your sad side totally hilarious. haha. 🙂 I love you!!!!

    • LMAO, Donna… you’re too cute. I LOLed at your story… Sadly, I think we have the same genes… I’ve fallen standing doing nothing as well. Where do we return these lame genes at? Seriously now…

  5. Lindsay

    Man Whit – your just about as funny as your sister! (JK!!!) Your hilarious I love reading and If your readers only knew what a boob you were and how much sympathy you still are soaking up even 6 months later (YES PEOPLE SHE STILL TALKS ABOUT HOW SORE SHE STILL IS FROM THIS ACCIDENT 6 MONTHS AGO!)

  6. Nellie

    Whitney!! Holy cow, that pic made my stomach do a somersault…I don’t have any really horrific exercise stories, but my Mom does!! I’ll share it for her…haha.
    She was on the tread mill @ Sports Acad. and I don’t know what happened, but she fell flat on her face, and was flung off the back of the treadmill into the wall…and NO ONE came to see if she was ok! She was bleeding at the knees, ended up getting stitches. She came home and my dad looked at her, and all he said was, “what happened to your shirt?” hahhaha. It was all black from the treadmill.
    We’re still getting good laughs from that story, and that was a good 2 years or so ago!! Love ya!

  7. Liz

    I had something similar happen to me! Of course, I was walking home from a bar…. TRYING to do the right thing by not driving. And a majorly upheaved sidewalk ruined my intentions. I had a gaping hole in my chin, but apparently if you wait 12 hrs for the hospital it is too late for stiches. I spit out pieces of THREE teeth and had to get crowns. That’ll teach you not to walk and drink….

  8. Laci aka pb2myj

    OMG owww!!! 😦 I haven’t had any recent klutzy moments with the exercise, but hiking going down hills- I slip on the gravel several times every time I go, and I know one of these times I’m not going to be able to catch myself and then I’ll be posting my beat up picture, if I survive! lol When I was a teen my dad lived a block from the beach- I have always been overweight/tomboyish because I refused to wear grandma clothes (Teens nowadays are EFFIN SPOILED with Torrid/ lane bryant/ target/ walmart) carrying CUTE clothes in Plus Size- I had to shop in the young men’s sections, or else it was a polyester pants and sweater vests- opps I forgot you LOVED those 🙂 Anyways on with my accidents…. My friend’s and I would skateboard- I had my Dad’s longboard. Once I hit a monkey ball- you know those spiked balls that falls off trees. anyways it stopped my wheels and I went flying forward on the sidewalk- luckily I just had bruises EVERYWHERE- no face damage- I got lucky. Second skateboarding accident? Yes indeed. Across from my Dad’s apartment some cute young guys were moving in… so my friend and I were watching the shirtless eye candies unload the truck while just skateboarding around the streets… well I got stuck starring… and ran right into… a PARKED CAR. Yes they saw me eat it- yes they laughed, but they also came over to make sure I was ok and we ended up hanging out on the regular… but they never let me live it down!!! lol

    • Laci! LMAO! I’m just impressed that you went for the skateboarding at all! Knowing my clumsiness, first step on the board and I’d be in the first ambulance! Too cool, though that you made some pals out of the whole mishap! 😛

  9. Jacque

    So mine isn’t really an accident but the most terrifying and life- scarring experience I’ve ever had. A friend and I were going for our usual walk out in the country by our homes when we noticed we were being followed… By a RACOON!!! We tried to out-walk it then tried to out-run it but it stayed right at our heels. We threw rocks, pop cans and anything we could find on the side of the road. But to no avail. Finally I punted and kicked he about 20 feet. We took off running and screaming at it. My friends husband finally came and had to shoot it. It scarred me for life. It took me a year to start walking outside again. I was sure I wasn’t going to survive.

    • Jacque… seriously… that would have freaked me out! I don’t do well with animals that aren’t domesticated… I wouldn’t blame you for carrying your BB gun every where you walked!

  10. Katie Berger

    I smashed one side of my face in a running accident several years ago. Took 9 hours of reconstructive surgery just to make me look halfway good. I have a titanium plate replacing the smashed cheek bone and everything! Funny thing – – -when I did it, I didn’t think it was very bad because there was no pain. One look in the mirror changed that idea! I felt no pain because all the nerves were smashed and severed. The nerves have since regenerated. The face remains – – -well, the same! :l

  11. Pingback: Whitney’s Playlist Wednesday – The Incredible Machine « craving a life

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