The Dreaded Statistics!!

Personally, I think that statiticians just make up numbers… the higher the number, the more hysteria from the masses.  I’ve always read studies that would say things like, ‘80% to 95% of “die”ters will gain all their weight back and more.’  How depressing is that!?!?  Seriously now.  Makes a gal just want to drop everything and take up refuge at the local Chuck-A-Rama! (Ya’ll who live in Cache Valley… how the heck long is it going to take for them to finish our Chuck-A-Rama… I swear they’ve been working on it since 1996 and they just barely put the door hinges on!  How’s a girl supposed to chuck up-a-rama when there ain’t any food in it yet?  I guess I could go and sit in the parking lot, snacking on wood shavings and getting quite the view of plumber’s crack, George until they finally open the dagnabbed doors!)

Tangent alert… I don’t have ADD, why do you ask?  What were we talking about?  Oh, yes… quackticians.  So, they’re telling me that 95% of people who lose weight gain their weight back?  I know I was in that group at least one time (remember the ill-advised gastric bypass surgery) and was not lucky enough to be the elite 5% who kept it off for good.  But, I totally have figured out why.  The magic wand I used was broken and the doctor who did my surgery had a horrible bedside manner!!!  I smell Sue-age!  Judge Judy… keep your doors open!  Now that I’m done blaming the wrong people, here’s the truth… I went about it the wrong way.  It was just another “die”t destined to fail.  I didn’t exercise at all (unless you count bending over to scrub my feet in the shower every day) and I didn’t have a handle on why I overate to begin with.  “Die”ts are seen as temporary things… you starve yourself for an extended period of time and once you lose the desired weight, you can go right back to your regular lifestyle of overeating and sitting in the La-Z-Boy.  THAT there is why 95% of “die”ters gain their weight back.  It has nothing to do with a person’s willpower… “die”ts are stupid and restricting things might get you the results you want, but don’t be surprised when your La-Z- Boy welcomes you home with open arms.  (LOL!!  “Die”ts are stupid… how’s that for an argument… take that Harvard Debate Club!!!)

When I was a young’un, my dad would always say, ‘if someone is bothering you… just sit on him/her.’  When I was about 9, this one scrawny, annoying kid would always go around making fun of me.  I got fed up with it one day and so I took Dad’s words to heart, wrastled his skinny rump to the ground, and sat on him.   I sat there until he was crying for his mommy like a yellow-bellied sapsucker and only then did I finally let him go.  Never bothered me a lick after that (Hi Caleb… how is the ole’ back doing?)  So, what do I need to do when these lamebutt statistics are bothering me?  SIT ON THEM!  This time I will be that elite 5% who lose and keep their weight off… you know why?  Because my plan is going to be sensible and not restrictive and it will have chocolate and cake and if it takes me twice as long as a restricter to lose the weight… that just insures I’ll be in the Elite 5 for a lifetime.  I love you, La-Z-Boy, but I love proving people wrong more!

When walking a few weeks back, I came across this truck with a pretty awesome bumper sticker attached to it… follow this geezer truck’s advice, friends.


Question of the Day:  Do statistics make you more or less determined to succeed?

Note:  If anyone has a topic they’d like to see me tackle (LOL… tackle), let me know in the comments.  I can’t guarantee that I’ll knock the topic out of the park, but I’d be willing to give it a try. (P.S.  “Steven Tyler:  Is he a Man Who Wears Lipstick” has already been taken!)



Filed under Diet, Food

22 responses to “The Dreaded Statistics!!

  1. Ally

    You know what Whitney? I think that statistics often trip me up. I am also determined to be in that elite 5% this time! Let’s do this! For life!!

  2. Chrissy

    “42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.” — Steven Wright

    That’s what I hear in my head when someone starts talking about statistics. 🙂

    I want to be in the elite 5% too. I wonder how many of us it will take to bump that percentage up?

    • LOL! I love that quote… Amen and Hallelujah! I just think that everyone who reads this blog should just form a group… we’ll call ourselves the Elite 5s and we’ll meet once a month for support! 😛

  3. Gwen

    This is great because Andrew and I both work with statistics! So does my dad, and all three of us think you are right! I am always wary of stats unless I know exactly what the study was and how the variables were measured and what biases the researchers have.

    I think you are right when you say most people don’t dig too deep into why they were overeating in the first place and so they fall back into it. Because they are just treating a symptom of something else.

    Neuroscientists have also done studies that show that people can only change very slowly over a long period of time. Because you are not just making a different choice, you are actually changing your biology. So slow and steady does win the race! And I love that picture! It is such an anthem of how to stay optimistic through life!

    • That’s awesome, Gwen. Glad to know that someone who actually works with stats can back me up here.

      I love that the tortoise and the hare theory rings true. I’m learning me some patience along the way as well!

  4. Jen

    You can’t always trust stats and results from research studies. It is so easy to skew the results to get the answer you are looking for. And even if those stats are true, I know you can be in the Elite 5!

    • That’s what I think, Jen. Someone wants to prove something, they can very well make their study skew the way they want it to go. It’s all about the shock factor!

  5. Donna

    Good Gravy.
    Reading your blog seriously makes me giggle. I say it CONSTANTLY but I have to keep saying it.

    I love the “Hi Caleb… how is the ole’ back doing?”
    You need your own stand up time slot on Comedy Central.

    You of COURSE can keep it off. I think all of is here on mfp seriously have the will power to do it. It all depends on how dedicated you are when you start. And also continuing to LOVE your results. Why would I chose to gain all my weight back if I was SO miserable there to begin with.

    Your doing great:)

    • LOL! Good gravy is my favoooooorrrrriiiiittttee saying. I’m sure I overuse it, but it’s totally hip to do that! Amen about making sure to love your results and celebrating each victory along the way. You appreciate your success more that way… and ALWAYS take time to remind yourself how miserable you used to be!

  6. Liz

    What is the statistic for people who lose 40lbs, start playing competitive sports again, tear their ACL, have surgery and gain 15lbs back? Oh wait, 100% because that’s me! Kickball is cutthroat people! Not just a schoolyard game anymore…

    • OUCH, Liz! That sounds totally painful! I can back you up on the brutality of kickball! I can’t tell you how many times I broke my glasses playing that game in school!!

  7. Lauren

    I don’t want to be a statistic! died due to heart failure from extreme, severe, over the top obesity . THAT’s why I’m on the road to healthy! (said in a Hermione voice).

    Glad we’re all together on that road. Cause otherwise it sure would be lonely! 😉

    Thanks Whitney. I enjoy reading your blog. You make me feel better about the struggle to stay on the road to healthy!


  8. You are going about this as a lifestyle change rather than a “die”t so I say stats are in your favor! I would wager that the stats show that people who modify their lifestyle are more successful at losing the weight and keeping the weight off than those who are looking for the quick fix. You are one smart cookie and are totally doing it the right way. Keep on truckin’!

    • One day I want to do a study within this study… figure out how these people who are gaining weight lost their weight to begin with. I bet you are right… the lifestyle changers will totally come out on top versus the “die”ters!

  9. Lindsay

    Whit your so WHITTY! I enjoyed today’s read!

    Your sis

  10. Suzie

    I love your posts.. your language & wackiness.. so keep it coming:-) Awesome post!

    You know.. this is my first time doing this.. and I am already having peaks & valleys.. so I know I need to dig deeper to ask some of the questions about why I ate in the first place & why these valleys? Of course I would like to be amongst the top 5% who keep it off.. so actually I would love for you to explore something on that topic.. if it so feel upto it. Or I might just “sit on you” one of these days:-)

    • Thank you, Suzie! I too have the peaks and valleys… I think you have to have those on any kind of journey… it comes with the territory… but it does help to learn what triggers a valley. I’ll think on that and do up a post some time!

  11. Louisa

    I say phlephbleb to the stats. That is the sound that comes with sticking out my tongue, btw.
    I won’t let someone else decide if I can or can’t make this work. What do they know anyway?!?

    I am already feeling better, having more fun with my kids
    (who like to workout with me & we get the giggles), eating better, not starving or depriving myself, and gaining more confidence.
    I have only lost a few lbs and inches but I don’t want to go back EVER.
    I don’t call it a diet. I call it my journey.
    It is a life-style change.
    It is a change in the way I look & respond to food.
    It is a change in my biology.
    It will be my success and my legacy.

    My mother is a perpetual diet-er. Ever since I can remember she has been on the diet roller coaster. She started again with the New Yr…her same resolution EVERY year.
    I do NOT want to be like this when I am her age ( she is 80 yrs old!!).
    I don’t want to be starting this again next year. I want to be at my goal and maintaining it indefinitely….and never to be on the diet roller coaster.
    I want to enjoy all the wonderful foods and flavors and know that I can as long as I stay moving.
    Everything in moderation is my motto.

    I love my MFP friends b/c we are all making this journey and doing it the right way.
    No magic pill.
    No magic surgery.
    No magic guru or magic wand that says they have the answers.
    We all have to decide to make it our life’s journey with food and exercise.

    Love your blog – makes one laugh and ponder
    Good pic too!
    Keep on keepin’ on….

    • Sounds like you are totally doing it the right way, Louisa… on your way to the Elite 5. Bravo to you for realizing that your mother’s way of weight loss wasn’t going to hack it and going the sensible route!

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