There are 2 weekends a year I look forward to the most… General Conference weekends in April and October. My sister comes up and we all plan a girlie day while the testosterone holders are attending their meeting on Saturday night. In the past, my girlie weekend role was to sit in the car and sleep while the mom and sister did the girlie things… had to keep the car from being stolen by hoodlums!! There are totally hoods in Logan… Shady Acre neighborHOOD, Crescent View neighborHOOD… quit sassing me. Fine… the truth is I stayed in the car because I couldn’t walk as far or as fast as they could (without wanting to vomit) and none of the clothes fit me anyway (Shop-A-Holics-R-Us, Lindz and Ma… they have a meeting for that!)
What a difference a few hundred pounds make. Yessiree Bobbette! This weekend was different… not only did I keep up, but I seemed to still have energy to spare when they wanted to go home and take an afternoon nap. Pish posh… y’all can sleep in the dagnabbed car while I do the girlie things! Below is a walk-through of the things I could do on girl’s night out… that I’ve never been able to do before:
Go shopping at “New Navy” (No, I didn’t stutter… it’s “new” if the last time you shopped there was to hold the door open for everyone else) and walk out with purchases that actually fit… in sizes XL and XXL. Sister Lindsay and Ma Dessa are quite the pair to shop with… they consider themselves fashionistas and I’m apparently the anti-fashionista, so everything I’d try on was either too grandma, too ugly, too short, the wrong color, too square, too crocheted… I swear I tried on the whole store and they only approved of 2 items. Meanwhile, Lindsay was embarrassed that I used the whole store as my dressing room. Here’s my theory… stay with me here. Why bother going back and forth to the dressing rooms ALL the way on the other side of the store with 1 or 2 items when you can just try said items over your clothes IN the aisle ways. It’s not like I was stripping down and putting on a free show only blind people would want to see… good grief. Meanwhile… they would try on the same item they termed “too grandma” for me, and all of a sudden it was hip and fashionable on them. Y’all… is there a manual out there… “Shopping With Fashionista Women For Dummies”? Hook a clueless gal up… (P.S. preferrably the Cliff notes version… attention span the size of a fruit fly over here!)
Go to dinner at Callaway’s Bistro with ma and sister where I was able to sit in a BOOTH! Booths were the evil in the past… evil and embarrassing and evil… and did I mention evil?
Whilst (yes, I just used the word whilst… it’s the word of champions… use it!) wearing my size XL, nonstretchy jacket in the EVIL booth!
Things they wanted me to do but couldn’t get me to budge on due to the Stubborn Horn installed in my skull… put these dag blasted checkered stickery things on my fingernails. I prefer my fingernails ugly, brittle, and cracking… thank you very much! I passed and finished another color on my cross stitching project instead… grandma is in style… ask my crochet team!
Thank you, Ma and Lindsay (and dad and Shayne for allowing the girl’s night out). Before you 2 get all excited… I would NEVER EVER EVER say I’m a full fledged shopping person… just a girl needing to buy new grandma clothes because the old ones are too big.
Question of the Day: Do you like to shop? What’s your favorite clothing store?