Sacrilege!! I just got kicked the heck out of my former place of worship… an all-you-can-eat buffet! I aim to take this all the way to the Supreme Court if I have to!! You bet your bottom dollar, Annie! Thou shalt not tear they Whitney away from thy dessert buffet. I’m guessing that I maybe need to back the gravy train up here before I call my attorney and everything (Robert J. DeBry and Associates).
It turns out that some of this season’s Biggest Loser peeps were coming to Logan for a meet and greet type of thing. This would totally be way unusual for a small town like ours, but it just so happens that 2 of this year’s contestants live and have a gym in this town, Rulon and Justin. We just don’t get things like this in Logan… Salt Lake City, maybe… but Logan usually gets the 2nd cousin twice removed of the uncle’s dog’s friend’s sister’s neighbor’s pet parakeet who just happens to live next door to Oprah Winfrey (what up, Oprah). So, we obviously couldn’t pass up the opportunity to gawk at people from reality TV.
Of all places to hold a stinking meet and greet for people trying to lose hundreds of pounds… how about Golden Corral!? BRILLIANT, SHERLOCK! Now, go put in an order for extra lard sauce! That’s like holding an Alcoholic’s Anonymous meeting at the State Liquor Store. STEW – PID… give the team member who came up with that idea a raise! Being the uber responsible (and frankly mega uptight) person that I am, I called Golden Corral in advance to get the 411 on the event. I asked very specific questions… does it cost to get in… the answer was no… not unless you want to eat. Obviously a bonus for this girl because I’m sure I could do some calorizing damage at a buffet!
I went with 2 friends (what up, Oprah… errr… I mean Karrie and Rachel) and the Madre. We get there and it’s pretty much packed… like fire hazard packed. There is no signage anywhere at the entrance about this Biggest Loser Meet and Greet… so, we just mosey on through the exit hallway into the throng of people. Kaylee is the first one we come across… we just sort of make small talk and ask her the same questions I’m sure she’s been asked approximately 3 billion times by now… but she seemed nice enough. Then we wander (by wander, I really mean stand still until the throng of people moves an inch) around and see Courtney (LOVE Courtney)… we make some more small talk with her and get a picture… sadly the camera person (Oprah… errr… Madre) didn’t know how to work my camera and so Courtney stood there for 5 minutes with her arms around us smiling at the camera… totally got in her workout for the day.
Then we move 2 inches more and find a corner that isn’t as thronged. An uptight dude wearing a GC shirt comes up to us and asks if we bought dinner there. Uh… no… Then he proceeded to flip a lid about how this wasn’t a free outing and that if we wanted to talk to the contestants, we’d have to buy dinner for $20. We proceeded to tell him about my previous conversation with one of his employees the day before where I was told it was free… and then he proceeded to spout steam out of his ears and tell us that no one told us that. Okay… yes… you are right… I am dumb and deaf and you are obviously a man of superior intelligence. I felt sorry for him because it was like someone kicked his trike in the ditch, peed in his Cheerios, and gave him a wedgie all in the same day!! Can you even imagine!!?!?
So, we had to leave… but on the way out, we ran into Arthur (who just happened to be blocking the exit) and got a picture and autograph from him! Score it! We also saw Sara, Justin, Austin, Moses and the new trainer Bret, but weren’t about to pay money for Lard City Central just to talk to them.
Picture time… (I may be sued for these pictures because I got them without eating a tray of fried chicken)!
Golden Corral… you just lost your former best paying customer! Take that and smoke it for dinner. Also… GC dude with the perma-wedgie… would totally like to invite you to my dinner party next Saturday… main dishes will include cow dung coleslaw and chocolate-covered cockroaches! Call me!
Question of the Day: Do you watch Biggest Loser this season? Who is your favorite? Also, what do you think of Golden Corral? 😛