My mom told me the word butt wasn’t a classy way to start a blog post… so I’ll butt out and never use the word butt ever again… but not if I really need to use it… butt is totes better than some of the alternative words… so, rear receptacle it is. Will you put me back in your Will now, Madre?
Now that I’m a regular walker, instead of a regular butt sitter (Fragnabit… didn’t even make it a sentence yet), I’ve been having problems with my feet. An annoying constant ache in the heel area, which gets worse the more it gets inflamed… but that’s nothing like the time when I tore the plantar fascia and had to use crutches to maneuver around for a couple of days. I self-diagnosed myself (I try to avoid paying a doctor money when I can Google the issue for free… less waiting room time, less chance for a drive-by doctor visit… you know the ones… the ones where you wait in the waiting room for 2 hours, only to see the doctor for 25 seconds on his way to lunch), and came up with a condition called plantar fasciitis. The definition according to this website is:
Plantar fasciitis is irritation and swelling of the thick tissue on the bottom of the foot.
Risk factors for plantar fasciitis include:
- Foot arch problems (both flat feet and high arches) – CHECK
- Obesity – Uhhhh… DOUBLE CHECK AND A HALF
- Repetitive loading on the feet from long-distance running, especially running downhill or on uneven surfaces – What is this thing called running? Never heard of it?
- Sudden weight gain – Well, I wouldn’t call it sudden… more like gradually over the space of 32 years… but it suddenly sucked every year!
- Tight Achilles tendon (the tendon connecting the calf muscles to the heel) – Achilles has always hated me…
- Shoes with poor arch support or soft soles – So, you’re saying my duckie slippers do not constitute good arch support?
- Usually affects active men ages 40 to 70 – I chose to ignore this one… last time I checked my “active man” card was still in the mail…
DISCLAIMER: I do not condone diagnosing one’s self… I just happen to be really stubborn and cocky and cheap with my pennies… Scroogish… if you will. Tiny Tim had plantar fasciitis too… I’m pretty sure.
So, the plantar fasciitis pretty much sucks (though, definitely not as sucky as broken limbs… hi Karrie) and it’s frustrating to me to have aching feet/heels when I want to get out there and walk. I got a recommendation to try Skecher’s Shape Ups shoes as they were supposed to take some of the pressure off of your heel and redistribute the weight to other parts of your feet/legs. It was worth a try… short of getting my feet cut off and buying me some new fangled dangled Barbie legs (which I did consider for approximately a quarter of a fifth of a second!) I’ve read that Shape Ups are a controversial shoe… some woman is trying to sue the company claiming that she was injured by her shoes… LOLLLLLLL… no, honey… that just means you was born with the clutzitis disease. I have it too, sweetheart… ain’t no court system in the world (oh, I forgot we live in the U.S., Sue Country Central).
I started out with a pair of walking shoes that looked like this:
Which helped my poor feet immediately… there was still a dull ache there, but this helped to redistribute the ache and not make it as noticeable. Pretty soon, I bought me a pair of everyday shape ups (which are totes the UGLIEST things I have ever seen and immediately cause my fashionista sister and mother to do convulsions over their ugliness… I don’t care… this girl has ALWAYS been about comfort before fashion… ALWAYS!)
Lindsay… LOOK AWAY FROM THE UGLY SHOE!!! I’m already 5 feet 8-1/2 inches (do not you dare try to round it up to 5’9″), and wearing these shoes makes me approximately 6 feet 13-3/4 inches… but I’m willing to live with looking like the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk to have less painful feet… despite how unfashionista I look! Take that, Project Runway! I’m afraid I won’t be able to be a contestant next season.
I know these suckers aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but if you find you have my same foot problem, these are definitely worth checking out. Plantar fasciitis is the most common foot complaint, so I’m betting a lot of you have it as well (even if you don’t own a male card)!
For those interested in trying these out, OneStopPlus.com has an AMAZEBALLS deal on them. I bought my walking ones above at Shoe Carnival for $100.00 (NOT cheap), and the casual ones at Ross for $70.00 (again, not cheap). Though, if you get this heckuva deal with a special code, they are offering half off the already marked down price. I just ordered some extra ones for when I wear the other ones out and with shipping, it cost me $33.53 (ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?!?) Make sure you use the half off code at checkout… Half Off Skechers Shape Ups That link brings you to the page with the information and code on it… the code will work for any pair of Skechers on the site, they just happened to link you to the least expensive pair… so use the search function to find other options. Also, if you are interested, you might want to jump on it… these sales go fast!
Oh, almost forgot… why am I talking about the Kardashians in my title? Because I found out that apparently, Kim Kardashian (ye of the large rear receptacle), advertises these shoes… so if you want a receptacle like Kim’s… get you some! (I, however, do NOT want any form of receptacle… I’m just using mine as a self-diagnosed pain reliever!)
Question of the Day: What brand of sneakers do you like the best?