I have a lot of thoughts swimming around in my brain right now… most of them are drowning and some of them are peeing in the pool and ruining the fun for the other thoughts. I’m a going to attempt to make sense of them in this here post, but I can’t give any guarantees. The only guarantee I’ll give is that I’ll probably snark at you all… ALERT!!! HIGH WOMAN HORMONE AREA… ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!!
The last few weeks I’ve been noticing this new emotion emerging from deep within my steel-plated heart. I guess it’s an emotion because I’ve had an overwhelming urge to eat it away and I’ve been in a snarktastic mood… short with people, more easily annoyed, just an overall absolute pleasure to be around. And I’ve been dealing with it horribly… going back to my old ways of eating more than my allotted calories for the day and then not caring a snoot about it… shoving it back down with an extra scoop of lard sauce. I got to really thinking about it tonight (aka eating too many cookies and wondering what the heck was going on in my noggin). As I thought about it, I came to the realization that I’m ALL talk and no action. I have a case of the stagnant brainitis and it’s making me all kinds of restless. So, restless that all I want to do is forget about everything, stop being the dagnabbed responsible human being that I am, and move to the beaches of Bermuda. I know that won’t solve a thing and I know I need to deal with it in a more constructive way than eat 8 billion cookies and a side of orange slices, but my problem is I don’t know how to.
I see myself as a caged bird, who desparately wants to free herself and sing whilst flying through the clouds… and it’s like I’ve made a small opening in this cage of mine, but instead of making my great escape, I’d rather sit on my tail feathers on my usual perch and stare at the opening because it’s what I know… and it’s safe… and I don’t know how to make my break because this is new to me and I’ve never done it before. I have all of these grand thoughts in my mostly empty brain of what I’m going to do when I get skinny, but in the meantime while I’m not skinny, here I sit on this perch of mine covered with so much bird turd it’s hard to find a clean space to rest my bird brain.
I decided that I need to make a bucket list… things I’ve always wanted to do… and I need to start small and build up to the big because you don’t just wake up one morning and say, Gee, I think I’ll go hiking in the Alps today! I guess you could say that if you lived next door to the Alps… but you get my picture. During the years I could never do anything on account of my weight, I never really felt too restless because I just tried to convince myself that this was how it was always going to be and I’d just have to live with it… but now that I’ve seen a glimpse of that open sky, I WANT to get out there and soar, but I’m going to need lessons. My plan is to start small. I’m going to think of 2 things… a small thing and a big thing and I’m going to tell myself that I will accomplish both of those bucket list items by January 1, 2012. No ifs, ands, or buts. The big thing is going totake time, so that’s why I need to start now, putting the pieces into place so that the puzzle will be completed in 7-1/2 months’ time. I aim to call it Mission: Uncage the Singing Bird.
I am extending the challenge to any of my sweet and intelligent blog readers. Who wants to join me in venturing outside of your comfort zone? I’ll give anyone who wants to participate about a week to think of one big and one small bucket list item that you have always wanted to accomplish and we’ll revisit the topic several times over the next 7 months. I’d recommend making the goal attainable in the amount of time given… like, don’t say you want to become President of Uganda or Donald Trump’s hairspray sprayer… it needs to be something that can be accomplished in that amount of time.
Like my good pal, Big Bird says… The sky’s the limit… you just need to learn how to use your wings.
Question of the Day: Is anyone interested in joining the mission? If so, let me know in the comments! If not, do you have a bucket list?