This was hard for me… hard because every time I’d come up with a bucket list item that I was going to finish by January 1st, 2012, I immediately found some reason why I couldn’t ever accomplish it. Too far out of my comfort zone… too much work… too embarrassing… too much brain usage… etc., etc., etc. All excuses… every single last one of ’em a lame butt excuse. All coming back to the same reason… I’m afraid of the unknown. What if I can’t accomplish it… what if I shrivel up into a ball of bird doo… what if all my hair falls out from anxiety… what if someone tells me I can’t? I’ve pretty much lived at least the last decade of my life with “what ifs”… that’s why I haven’t done a dagnabbed thing… and the reason I’m doing this birdie uncaging mission is to get away from that type of thinking and move forward… teach myself that I can accomplish whatever the cream puff I put my mind to. I just have to show myself I can do it.
So, today’s mission, getting my goals (aka bucket list items) down in black and white is the first step. I’ll say outloud what I plan to accomplish by the end of the year and then I’ll work on a plan… a step by step plan of action for how I’m going to get to my final goal; instead of just saying stupid things like, “eh, I’ll get it when I get to it.” I’m the QUEEN of procrastination. In school if a project was due on Friday, I started working on it at 11:00 p.m. Thursday night and then stayed up the whole night finishing it and went to school the next morning like zombie girl. If I work my bucket list items like that, I’ll just never do them. In next Tuesday’s post, I’ll write out a plan of action. You brave souls who are going to be joining the birdie mission… y’all should do the plan of action thing too… because all the cool kids are doing it… right after they all jump off the cliff.
Small Bucket List Item: Make a CD of me singing some of my favorite Christmas songs… and just sing more in general.
No, I ain’t trying to become the next American Geezer Idol… I’m far from knowing that ain’t never gonna happen. Singing has been a BIG part of my life since I was 2 years old. I sang everywhere… much to my family’s annoyance. It was a way for me to escape. I’d come home from school, lock myself in my room with my karaoke machine and karaoke tapes/CDs and I would sing for hours and hours and hours. When I was singing, I wasn’t lardo Whitney… I was a dagnabbed rockstar. I found I could get all of my emotions out in the songs I sang, and it was really a form of therapy for me. It was my happy place. I went from singing all the time; church, fairs, parties, dinners, in my bedroom, etc., to singing once or twice a year at the most. My annual version of “Oh Holy Night” at the church Christmas program… and if I’m lucky one other time. I miss it. Even if I don’t sing for anyone ever again, I at least need to sing for myself. I’m burying my talent under a bushel of rotted kumquats and setting a team of sumo wrestlers on the top of them. Plus, I’ve wanted to make a CD of my singing for years now, but I’ve never thought it was a convenient time… and pretty soon I’m going to have the old lady vibrato and then ain’t no one gonna want to hear that! So, this year is the year… I’m doing it! Come hell or high water!
Large Bucket List Item: Go on a trip…
Those who know me and all my issues, know that this is a HUGE deal for me. I have a debilitating germ-a-phobe anxiety issue, and thus do not like hotel rooms and/or places that are extra bacteria-ey. I usually just don’t go anywhere because then I don’t have to deal with my anxiety. I’ll talk more about my germ issues in a later post, as I think they are an extension of my weight issues… it was something I could control, since there was no control over my eating. So, I’m going on a trip. I haven’t exactly decided to where, but my family was talking about going to New York, so I might try to horn in on their trip just to piss them off.
Now, it’s y’alls turn! Jump in my pink limo here (seriously saw this driving down the street the other week and nearly killed half the neighborhood trying to take a picture of it), and let’s get this thing on the road! The limo may say girls, but boys you’re welcome too… you just might have to wear a few pink feather boas and get a manicure on the way. 😛 It’s character building!
Question of the Day: Give me your bucket list items to finish by January 1, 2012, in the comments… one small one and one big one.
Side Note: I been checking eBay regular like to see if they have an ark for sale… it’s been raining/snowing here for 300 days and 300 nights in a row and I’m not sure my tugboat is gonna be acceptable! STOP THE INSANITY, SUSAN!