Uncaging My Bird – The Plan

Wanderer, your footsteps are the road, and nothing more;
Wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking.
By walking one makes the road, and by glancing behind
One sees the path…
– Antonio Machado

Just had to retrieve this plan of action from the bottom of the bird cage… it was totally just serving as the bird turd catcher.  Just scrape it off a bit and I’m on my way.  I think that’s how I’ve treated any sort of goal in the past… like the paper used to catch the bird turds (wow, do I have a fascination with birds lately or what?)  True story… I’m actually quite nervous around birds.  When I was 4 or 5 years old I was visiting my grandma on a farm when a huge turkey attacked me… I fell to the ground and the huge sucker sat on top of my chest and gobbled at me and flapped it’s wings at me… I swear it weren’t Thanksgiving and I did not own an Ax!  Ever since then birds freak me out… just something about the fact that they have wings and they fly and poop on people’s heads and Whitney’s car, and they make annoying squawking noises at 5:00 in the morning.  I’ve almost had magpie soup for breakfast a few times… who wants to join me for brunch tomorrow morning? 

Just like I’m afraid of the birds because I don’t know their intentions… for all I know that turkey could have been offering me a free massage; I’m also afraid of doing anything because I don’t know how it will turn out.  Will I fail?  Will there be hard work and brain crunches and will I have to get too far out of my comfort zone?  I don’t know the answers to those questions… and since I don’t know exactly how it’s going to turn out, it’s just easier to sit on my butt and do nothing.  I know how that butt sitting appointment is going to turn out… someone’s going to win American Idol… Marcia Brady’s nose is gonna get broke… Lucy Ricardo is going to botch up everything she does… and the folks on the Bachelorette are gonna makeout a lot and then eventually break up (side note… I do not, will not, and would not watch the Bachelor and/or Bachelorette… you seen one dating polygamist, you seen ’em all!) 

So, rather than sit here for the rest of my life wondering about the next turn in the road, I’m just going to start walking, make my own path that I can eventually look back at and be all like… That’s a mighty fine lookin’ path, Bernice… I’d be mighty proud to walk down that sucker!   Thus, the reason for the plan of action to make sure my bird gets uncaged… gotta make a plan or else nothing will get done and I’ll still be sitting around with a psychotic squawking turkey on my chest in anticipation of the next Brady Bunch marathon. 

Bucket List Item #1:  Singing CD
Date of Completion:  October 23, 2011 (my birthday)


1 – Pick out songs to sing, find accompaniments in my voice range (either noncheesy-sounding karaoke music or piano)
2 – Call desired recording studio (Jay Richards) and ask questions about pricing, time needed to complete recording, whether he can accompany, etc.
3 – Drive 20 miles to Franklin, Idaho… buy scratch and win lottery ticket… win lottery to pay for above-mentioned recording studio!  😛
4 – Practice, practice, practice.
5 – Cut off my head to drain out the allergy goobers in my throat/nose and/or dust off the cobwebs on my vocal cords.
6 – Record songs.
7 – Scream HALLELUJAH, OPRAH at the end of the CD!

Bucket List Item #2:  Trip
Date of Completion:  By October 1, 2011 (aiming for mid Septemberish)


1 – Pick out place to go… Palmyra, New York.
2 – Plan exact week to go, sidestepping friendly woman hormone hoarding week.
3 – Buy plane tickets (I’ll still need 2… one for me and another for the bane of my existence)
4 – Become extreme couponer to save money for trip…
5 – Make out itinerary for the week and places to stay, etc.
6 – Sew sheet bedcover for germy hotel room.
7 – Have fun!

And there we go… totally easy, right!?  I should be making time to see some progress on those steps each week, and I’ll be sure to document my progress once a week on this here blogging site… just so that I can put more of you to sleep.  This here blog is a cure for insomnia… though it still has yet to cure my insomnia!!  You can thank me later. 

One of my all-time favorite movies, which I’ve only mentioned about 8000 times on this here blog, is The Wizard of Oz.  Near the end of the movie, Glinda, the good witch of the North visits Dorothy just when she is at her lowest point, thinking she’ll never be able to return home to Kansas.  Dorothy asks Glinda if she will help her.  Glinda’s reply:  You don’t need to be helped any longer… you’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas.  To which the brainless scarecrow replies, Then why didn’t you tell her?  Glinda’s answer, Because she wouldn’t have believed me… she had to learn it for herself.  And so it is… despite never knowing it was there, I’ve always had the power to change my life… I just needed to learn it was there.  By Golly, Toto… I think she’s gonna get it yet! 

Question of the Day:  I’m ready for your action plan to accomplish your bucket list items… give it to me!

Not gonna let my negative thoughts "handicap" me any longer. Let's Do This! The sky is the limit!


Filed under Mission: Uncage the Singing Bird, Quotes

24 responses to “Uncaging My Bird – The Plan

  1. Just start walking. Thats how it’s done! When you see a pretty bauble, or something interesting you stop to admire it. It doesn’t have to be a fantastic 4 Star trip. A cruise is how some have instant activities and people with a trip built in–I never did that.

    My oldest goes to hostles when she travels. Cheap! She meets intereesting people and everything makes it good, not just the planned things. She knows how to just enjoy where she’s at. No matter what, she just makes the best of it. I’m more of a planner because I had to haul kids with me, but having a general idea and just going (fixing whatever along the way and being flexible) is the way to go.

    My youngest of the first 3 just up and moved to the grandcanyon with a job he got and started doing all sorts of things with these people that did the same. He was the caged bird and he just started flying suddenly.

    So don’t wait ’till you are rich and have the perfect vacation planned. There is no such thing! The more you plan the more it doesn’t work out right and you stall. Maybe even dissapointed! I know you have offers to visit friends! That is a great start! A weekender! Pack a weekend of clothes and drive off, then come back!

    • Nammy… you are right… you just have to do it. That’s very brave of Sam… I don’t think I could just wing it in a hostel like that… I have to have more structure. One thing at a time! I’ve definitely been trying to go on more day trips, places, etc., so I think it’s a step in the right direction!

  2. Avster

    Two adjustments on each of your items. :b

    I think that there should be a rule that says that if a person’s shares a birthday with Whitney then they receive a copy of the cd.

    I think you should plan for a coughlongcough layover in Chicago or Milwaukee or Madison. 😉

    Kind of odd how those two adjustments seem to benefit the same person, eh?

    • Who lives in Chicago, Milwaukee, or Madison? OPRAH!?!?!?!?! Oh lawsy, I just might have to do it! 😛 Avy… one of these days we are gonna meet up and then you’re going to be sorry you ever done did it after I steal all of your Peeps stash and trade it for chocolate!!

      • Avster

        Only idiots live in those cities. The smart ones live within easy driving distance of them. :b

        Steal my stash, huh… I guess I’ll have to start labeling them and saying that they aren’t for resale.

  3. cl2

    Me–I’ve started walking again–so that I can get in shape to ski?!?! next winter.

    The other goal, which I hadn’t thought of yet, was to get to a point of only working 2 weekends a month. HA HA HA I have this thing about working every day or I get out of my routine. It gives me “comfort” to be in a routine. So–I did ask for 2 weekends to be covered that I usually work–but only because the boyfriend asked me to. I’m having great anxiety about it! So–I will be working on not working a few weekends a month. I’ve started the process. Do you think I can not work weekends? Anyone else at the office work every weekend?

    • I’m proud of you for asking for 2 weekends off a month, Colleen! No one should have to work every weekend… I hope you get out there with Mike and fun it up on those free weekends. It would be much deserved!

  4. Kayjay

    Hi Whitney!

    I’m so inspired by your plan of action. Good for you! One thing bothered me though and that’s the fact that you think you will need two seats on the plane. There’s no way that’s happening! You have come so far and just think of where you’ll be by October…..you will be just fine with one seat!

    • Thank you, Kayjay! My tire around my middle (aka bane of my existence) is a huge ole bugger and so I have trouble fitting in most seats with arms on them still, so that’s the only reason I say that. I’d say if I did a percentage of how much of my weight is in that middle section, it would be at least 70%!! I’ll get it down, though!

  5. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomOfTwo

    Question of the Day: I’m ready for your action plan to accomplish your bucket list items… give it to me!

    To be perfectly honest, I haven’t done as much walking in the past couple wks as I had hoped to get ready for the 5K in September. With all the kid’s activities wrapping up for summer and all this RAIN…I think I have only gotten in two good long walks. Not enough – not by a long shot.
    So, I need to get making it a priority and walk at least 2-3 times a week.
    I am still doing my Tae Bo workout daily and my stamina is there but that is another ball-of-wax.

    I am currently working on one of my Bucket List items.
    I am the Assistant Coach for my daughter’s Sand Volleyball team this summer (I know-I still can’t believe it ) and I am having a lot of fun with it. I tend to bubble over with enthusiasm for the game and the girls. The Coach has thanked me at every practice and has even said she is learning a lot from me ( which makes my heart smile ).
    I have noticed she is improving her game by using my tips that I give to the girls. She asks me to show her things too, work on drills with her, and give her over-hand serving pointers. It has a been a real confidence booster for me!

    I am seriously thinking about adding to my Bucket List — Be the Coach next summer for my daughter’s sand vball team ( if I can come up with an Asst. Coach to help me )…
    Not sure if I can do it ALL (without an assistant coach). Maybe my Dh will be my Asst. Coach ( hmmm )…
    I know my daughter would LOVE that if we both did it together but with his work constraints…we would have to see. I will know more about the work involved once we are done with practice and games and I can reflect back on the experience.
    Other than the scheduling practices and emailing & calling the parents about changes, picking up the t-shirts, and bringing ice water for the games…I think I am doing all the coaching as it is. I get to practice & games before anyone else. I work the drills with the girls. I stay late and make sure the net & balls are accounted for and trash is picked up. I speak to the parents. I bring healthy snacks and drinks to share. I am always prepared for any situation ( first aid, extra ball, water, protein, sunblock…).
    I think I can do it. Granted, it will be a little harder for me to coordinate from a distance since I don’t live in the same town as all the events ( practices, games, P&R office, etc…) but I am in town enough to make it work out ( I think).

    Thanks Whitney for opening my eyes to the opportunities around me and outside my comfort zone.

  6. Karen

    Since you love the Wizard of Oz, why not add a ticket to Wicked for 2012 in SLC. It is coming and I have tickets and you deserve to see it. Think about it!

    • Karen… really? 2012? What month? Put me on the list… I think by then I’ll feel comfortable enough in a seat to pull it off! Is there anyway you can request an aisle seat for me? If not, that’s okay too…

      Thank you!!

  7. Here’s my plan of attack:

    Little goal:
    1. Take my dad with me to Wilson Motor and ask to test drive that hot Mustang with the racing stripe.
    2. Saturday, June 5

    I need to work out a more formalized plan of attack for dropping 75 pounds by cruise time, but it will involve menu planning, hitting the gym, doing some yoga in the mornings, drinking lots o’ water, and getting adequate sleep. Not going full steam ahead on all of those things, but definitely building up to that. I’ll work out a more formalized plan and write it up on my blog. Thanks for the motivation!

    PS. Let me know if you want me to help you make your sheet bedcover thing. We could bedazzle it or something. I’m not the most talented seamstress in the world, but I’m pretty dang sure I could handle sewing a few straight lines.

    • MUSTANG SALLY! Remember it! It has a racing stripe? Now that’s pretty cool. Can’t wait to read your Mission: Cruise Weight Loss Plan. It will give you something to work towards.

      Thanks for the offer on helping with the bedcover! I’m all about the bedazzling… especially if it looks like one of Richard Simmons’ tank tops!

  8. Amber

    My steps for my goals…

    Goal 1
    Lost 5 pounds by the summer
    1- eat smaller light meals all day
    2- no desserts for 4 weeks
    3- exercise 4 x a week

    Goal 2
    Have a baby or sign up for adoption
    1- If not healthily pregnant by July 15th, meet with infertility doc.
    2- If what the doc says doesn’t work, closer to the end of the year, figure out what adoption agency would work for us.

    Whitney, I am so glad to hear about your CD being done in October because I need to give that to my grandpa for Christmas, he would love it.

    • You got the plan in place, Amber! Look ‘er there… I haven’t actually tried it, but I think if it’s in black and white, you’ll be more likely to do it!

      Awww… your cute grandpa is too sweet! I love him!

  9. Jen Nelson

    How do you write such good posts in the middle of the night? I have a hard time making much sense when I am tired. Anyways here is my plan:

    Goal 1: Pointe Shoes by Jan 2012
    1. Continue ballet lessons through summer and fall
    2. Continue daily foot, ankle, and leg exercises for strength
    3. Pick out a pair of pointe shoes when my teacher says I am ready and schedule a private lesson for the first time I practice in them.

    Goal 2: Get pregnant
    1. Continue fertility treatments
    2. If not pregnant by Sept., switch doctors and see a board certified reproductive endocrinologist.

    • Jen-Jen… how do you take care of babies in the middle of the night!?!?

      I like your plans… I am glad that you are going to continue ballet lessons because I know how much you loved them and you are good at it, Pen! Keep going!

    • Amy

      Pregnant? Me too! That’d be the big goal. I’ve been a good girl already and saw the vampire bats n got myself probed by aliens, as did the hubby. Found a good doc (internationally known, right here in Denver) Dr.Schoolcraft- look him up. He wrote THE book about it n was on “The Doctors”- fantastic doc n hope where there was none to be found. Google CCRM= Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine. Ppl from as far as Asia visit him. I hear there are some
      goodies in SLC too. Sorry for turning your blog into an ad for my doc Whitney but I had to say something.

      Also!!! You HAVE to see Wicked! Mom n I did on a crazy NYC trip n it’s all something you’ll never trade. I’m excited for your trip.

      Small goal? -( actually a big goal if you have ever seen me craft). Gonna bind that quilt those amazzzzzing Relief Society sisters made for me so many moons ago when I was fresh outta high school. Thanks Whitney for inspiring me to get some new goals, dream s’more dreams, keep walking forward, n remember to dance (the BeeGees, Stayin’ Alive, in my very empty house with the dogs looking very concerned at me) Gets me giggling every time 🙂

      • Amy… you crack me up! How exciting about your world renowned doctor… I’m sending you fertile vibes because you deserve a baby and would be an excellent mommy! Just like my good cuzzin Jen-Jen!

        Keep going, woman… you got this!

  10. Oh look, 2 people at one airport layover ” Who lives in Chicago, Milwaukee, or Madison? OPRAH!?!?!?!?!” I also live in that area!!

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