I’m Like Rocky, the Bandit… Except Not So Much…

First things first… thank y’all for the great summer exercising suggestions… you all have inspired me to actually go out and buy my next summer exercising adventure… stay tuned to this here blog next week for exclusive pictures of me in my new bikini!!!!!  

Bwahahahahahahahaha… Um… NOT!!!  I wouldn’t do that to y’all.  Heck… I wouldn’t do that to me!  The part about me buying a summer exercising tool is true… which I will post about next week.  Yee Haw, Clem!  I’d post an individual reply to each of your giveaway comments, but the last time I did that on a giveaway topic, it took me an hour and a half to pick a winner since every time I drew a random name, it was me.  I love to win things that I am giving away!!!! 


Whenever I go somewhere that will require me to sit in a chair, I obsess over whether or not the chair has arms, how big the seat is, is there a booth… will I fit in the booth.  And those thoughts are like a never-ending loop of annoying, played to the stylings of Barney the Purple Dinosaur in the background (I Love You… you love me… we’re a happy family…)  Those thoughts and the anxiety that comes along with them are the ONLY thing that exists in my head until I can put it to rest.  What I usually end up doing is calling the place and asking about their seating and/or visiting before the event to see if my arse will fit in the seat.  Oh, it’s quality time with my anxiety… just me and my big buttox, worrying up a storm.  Even after losing 215 pounds, I still have issues with some seats, on account of the bane of my existence and it’s storing of Crisco for the winter.  Food storage is important, people!!!  The upside to the bane is that when it’s the actual end of the world (as opposed to the fake end of the world) and all the Wal-Marts are closed down and there is no food, I will die of starvation years and years after the skinny people of the world… which would allow me to hang out longer in starvation mode and chat it up with the sumo wrestlers and rejected Biggest Loser contestants!  Jealous!?  I thought so.  I actually do fit in most seats now, but I still have in my mindset that I’m a 530-pound chick and I’m always seeing myself as bigger than I am… what did I tell you about my brain… Albert’s ain’t any better! 

I find it completely humidifying (thank you, Ruby!) to have to call and ask someone if their chairs have arms on them… but it comes with the territory… and then, if I fit in a seat, there’s the whole worrying about the people who have to sit next to you fiasco and how uncomfortable they are going to be!  I went to the musical theater years and years ago, the person sitting to my left was uncomfortable the whole first half and so was I, trying to hold my legs over to the other side.  She didn’t even bother to come back to her seat after intermission… and I was so embarrassed… that she gave up some really good seats because I was crowding her out… I never went back to that specific theater after that… still haven’t been to it.  I have a feeling that I’d fit into the seat better now, but the mind keeps playing tricks on me. 

The reason I bring this up, I bought me some concert tickets for a concert in August recently and ever since then I’ve been worrying about the chairs.  They are stadium chairs, and I have NEVER been able to fit into those little suckers… besides that fact, I wasn’t able to get an edge seat, so I’m smack dab in the middle of a row, meaning two people will be uncomfortable, instead of just one.  It’s no wonder I already have so many grey hairs… worrying Wanda over here!  To try to alieve that anxiety, I’ve been trying to break into the local football stadium for days now… days and days and days… All of the dagnabbed gates are locked up as tight as a fat chick wearing a tutu… and heck if my lock picking skillz are of any use!  I even brought a crowbar once, but couldn’t lift it up off the ground so left it home.  Wednesday night I had some success… there was a tiny gate open with a big ole sign that read “Authorized Personnel ONLY”!  Of course, I just pretended that I didn’t know how to read and walked on in anyway.  I was sure that I was going to get arrested the whole time.  I had to walk across the entire football field to get to the stadium seats and I felt like I was Tom Cruise in Mission:  Impossible, except with less hair.  I was sure that someone was going to come and lock that one opened gate and I would have to LIVE in the stadium until I was 800!  Wo is me!  (I’m a mess… it’s a wonder I even get out of bed in the mornings!) 

I finally made it to the armed seating, took a big ole breath and sat my butt down… what do ya’ know, Goldilocks… I fit.  I have no idea how it would be with people next to me… probably still pretty squishy, but that didn’t matter right then… I fit in a stadium seat for the first time in forever… at least since the age of 18… because when I went to my sister’s graduation at the age of 19, I had to stand up in the back during the whole thing because I could not fit in the stadium seats.  YEE HAW!  Small victory won… I’ll take it.  I did a few victory laps up and down the stadium stairs for good measure (Rocky style), and then I high tailed it out of that gate before I had to move into the local women’s prison.  Pretty good for a week when the scale didn’t budge!

Question of the Day:  What was your latest NSV (nonscale victory)?  Remember to celebrate those along the way! 

The view from my new seat… who wants to go to a football game? Oh, the Aggies suck at football… alrighty then, who wants to go eat hot dogs in my new seat?


Note:  Since it is Memorial Day on Monday, I’m taking that day off from posting as well, so I will see you all back here bright and early on Tuesdee morning!  Thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a fabulous long weekend!  You can still sign up to win the giveaway if you haven’t already… I will close the giveaway on Monday, May 30th at 11:59 p.m. MST and draw the winner then! 


Filed under Nonscale Victories

11 responses to “I’m Like Rocky, the Bandit… Except Not So Much…

  1. cl2

    I’ll have to think about my non-scale victory. I know I’ve had those–but it is TOO EARLY to think. That is great that you fit in the stadium seats. Things thin people never even consider! I didn’t fly for years because I was afraid the seatbelts wouldn’t fit and I’d have to ask for an extension. I have the same kind of anxieties. These anxieties didn’t start with being overweight though. The first time I flew, I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to find my seat that I stressed for days. This was before the days of walking right on the plane–you had to go outside and climb the stairs and ALL flights weren’t filled to capacity. I was the first one on the plane.

    My issues now that I know I fit is RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME. Any suggestions for that. I need to ask the doctor. The flight to Alaska last summer about did me in. Actually my RLS gets worse when I WALK a lot.

    So–you didn’t tell us what concert you are going to!

  2. Dessa Wade

    Huge success Whitney! I have felt your anxiety all these years and am so happy that you will be able to do anything at all without having to worry about it. What a great feeling.
    You know that that will mean more concert goings, don’t you? My favorite thing to do with my girls.

  3. Jen Nelson

    Congrats on your victory with the stadium seats. I am excited to go to more concerts with you in the future. My nonscale victory-being able to do a real man’s pushup (I only did 4 but that is better than 0).

  4. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomOfTwo

    HUGE hugs & congrats on the fitting into the stadium seating NSV!!! I am so happy for you!

    I haven’t ever had the problem of fitting into any seating until I took the family to Six Flags a couple of yrs ago. I have been to Six Flags many times ( as a kid & adult ) and never had a problem but suddenly I was having to SQUISH myself to get into the ride seats. UH OH ! ( that was my thought ). I had never been embarrassed like that before. This was my highest weight and it never occurred to me….
    I wasn’t embarrassed for other people, I was embarrassed for ME.
    When my kids wanted me to ride the Superman – I barely fit. I guess the only good part about that is I wouldn’t have any chance of falling out. FUN ride by-the-way!
    The kids also wanted me to ride the Ninja with them and wow – that was a squeeze b/c the seats are this molded hard plastic and the harness thingy that comes over your head and squishes your ta-tas down to your waist is most uncomfortable. FUN ride though!
    Whitney, your story today made me think back on it and guess what – we are going to Six Flags again this yr b/c my kids have free tickets from their reading program. Instant anxiety! But …then again I am already smaller and weigh less that I did that summer I had issues. All might be ok since we probably won’t go until late June or maybe late July ( which means I should be even smaller & lighter than I am now )…

    Question of the Day: What was your latest NSV (nonscale victory)? Remember to celebrate those along the way!

    Today, I had a NSV!!!! I fit into and will wear my size 16 Regular denim capris to the Josh Groban concert tonight (an early bday present for me). They are snug but not too tight to be uncomfortable.
    I am hoping my mother, father, and sister will notice my weight loss when they see me this afternoon and maybe ask how much (33#’s) I have lost.

  5. Liz

    Nice work on the sly stadium scoping! Did you buy tickets to the Beach Boys? There was a random Logan brochure in our paper that mentioned it.
    I don’t have a recent NSV unfortunately. I’m just trying to get back to where I was before knee surgery and life keeps getting in the way. But I’m so close!!

  6. Dang girl! That is awesome. I’m so glad that you can look forward to your concert without the anxiety of worrying about the seats.

  7. Ally

    I love NSV’s! Congrats to you Whitney! That is a good one. I noticed in the bathtub the other day ( I mostly take showers ) that I can sit in the tub and not touch either side with my hips. I was right it the middle! Stupid and maybe TMI but that was cool. Of all the weird things to be excited about, huh?

  8. Beckalita

    I had a nonscale victory just this last week when I pulled something to wear out of my 14-year-old, super cute daughter’s closet. Yeehaw! I wish I had a camera to take a picture of the look on her face. YES!!!

  9. Small victory? Huge !!! I think you ought to revisit that theater, too.

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