It’s officially summer… how do I know it’s officially summer… 1.) Because I just declared it… and B.) We don’t need a B because I just durn declared it was so and that makes it so. My ego is about to explode y’all from all of this declaring talk. Moving on. I know it’s officially summer because I had my first taste of summer in the form of my most favorite sandwich in the universe! The UNIVERSE! (when they make a sandwich out of chocolate and more chocolate, give me a call and I’ll be changing my opinion). Y’all might want to get your pens and notepads out. This sandwich is a difficult sucker to master. The culinary wonders of the world have had difficulty getting this guy just right. Don’t attempt this at home without professional assistance… I attended and graduated from the Using Your Toaster Institute of Technology so I do have me a toasting degree. Here’s what you’ll need:
- LIGHT Miracle Whip (mayonnaise is not an acceptable substitute unless you enjoy the taste of glue)
- Bread (I used my favorite Harper’s Homemade Bran Bread at 80 calories a slice, but I suppose some less superior brand will do :P)
- A Toaster… and a degree from the Toaster Institute of Idiots… oh and maybe a plug and electricity… though, my brain is so powerful, I was just able to stare intently at the contraption and it began it’s toasting duties.
- Swiss cheese (sliced… I once tried a whole block of swiss cheese… the traffic done backed up into the next town!)
- Pepper (you can also opt to use his cuzzin, Salt, but Whitney’s ankles are currently in a fued with pepper’s cuzzin)
- Tomaters (sliced… I ain’t graduated from knife using college, but I somehow managed)
- Lettuce and onions (OPTIONAL, Rabbits… OPTIONAL!)
- Cucumbers, soaked overnight in a brine of half vinegar and half water (you can also opt to cut up some onion in there for flavor)… the soaking cucumbers should swim around like so:
So, basically… this intricate recipe starts with the toasting of the bread… I like to toast mine as long as possible without burning it (only took me 7 tries this time!!) that way the liquid from the maters and cumbers don’t soak through the bottom piece as fast. The swiss cheese goes on one side of the bread to help block the mater juices and half a tablespoon of LIGHT Miracle Whip is spread on the other side. Then, you stack the maters on top of the cheese and follow those up with the vinegar cucumbers, optional lettuce and onion, and some pepper.
Do not even talk to me right now… I’m eating in heaven. GLORY HALLELUJAH! This must be what it’s like to enter the Farmer’s Market Pearly Gates… and he declared it was good. Calorizers… 280 calories (with my ingredients), and it’s like you’re taking a bite out of your garden… except with less worms, dirt, and manure. I think this was a Berger family favorite (correct me if I’m wrong) because I remember my mom making this during the summertime for dinner when I was a kid (except substituting the cheese with bacon). It wasn’t until I had my first bite of this sandwich had summer officially begun!
Question of the Day: What food(s) do you associate most with summer?