There was a list of polarizing foods on Yahoo! a while back. I thought it was pretty durn interesting… foods that you either hate with a passion of 75 purple hair bows or LOVE like a fat kid (coughcoughMEcoughcough) loves cake… no in between. If you are an in betweener on one of these particular foods, pin a gold star to your nostril and immediately check yourself into the nearest facility of Above Average Eaters! I’m definitely a picky eater. Texture is my biggest thing… anything that’s mushy, gritty, slimy, with a strong odor, etc., I cannot stomach. I have a sensitive smeller and this gag reflex of mine ain’t for the weak of heart. The top 11 polarizing foods are as follows (with my snarktastic comments bolded at the end):
1. White Chocolate: The “chocolate” part trips people up. It’s really just a sweet
confection (no cocoa involved). Moving on from terminology, when good, it’s
creamy and vanilla-y, but like “normal” chocolate, when bad, it’s just waxy
*** ELLE TO THE FANNING, NO! White chocolate is just leftover soap product from the Dove Soap factory. Ick, ick, ick… if you’re going to whiten up my dream food, I have no reason to go on living!! Milk chocolate is my best friend… dark chocolate… eh… but white chocolate!?!? SACRILEGE! Do not even!
2. Cilantro: Soapy, rotten, or just plain vile are popular complaints from cilantro haters. Did you know Julia Child hated the leafy herb? But behavioral neuroscientists would argue that America’s food darling had no control. It’s all about genetics. Studies have linked liking
cilantro to being able to detect the “pleasing” chemicals in the leaf.
*** Oh Julia… you and I are kindred spirits… I just knew that we had something else in common besides oddness and the love of food! I cannot stand cilantro! My family loves it, but if you put it in my food, I can’t eat it. It overpowers everything else and I don’t like the flavor!
3. Eggplant: For some, it’s an old purple sponge and others, the soft-firm texture is what makes a veggie sandwich or an Italian pasta dish. Raw is never good, but fried, grilled, or roasted (always doused with gobs of olive oil), eggplant deserves another chance. Or, the vegetarian sponge will always make you nauseous — and the roof of your mouth mysteriously itch.
*** I’ve only tried eggplant a couple of times… but both times I found it tasteless and more importantly SLIMY! EWWWWW… nothing worse than a mouthful of slime, I say!
4. Coconut: The smell in shampoo and sunblock is one thing. But the sawdust-like shreds of real coconut can mean chewing and chewing forever until you eventually swallow the darn lump. Sprinkled on pies, cakes, and chicken, coconut either adds a mild tropical zing, or a vile, never-ending chewing party. That’s when it comes out that a lot of coconut haters don’t even know about young fresh coconut which is as soft as a Hawaiian baby’s bottom.
*** I love me the sweetened coconut stuff… not so fond of the fresh coconut straight from the shell. Oh, and the coconut milk straight from the shell ain’t my favorite either.
5. Tomato: This one really comes down to texture. Slimy and gritty is never good for the tomato world. The cooked, soft version brings in a few fans. Others are only in it for the vine-picked version during their peak season in August (cut to romantic images of Italian countrysides). Others can only bare them on pizza or completely masked inside ketchup.
*** Love, LOVE, LOVE me some tomatoes!! I’ve been eating grape tomatoes like they’re candy of late. Seriously, Whitney… do you want a bit of lettuce with your tomaters on that salad. Of course, if the tomato is mealy, I’ll pass… I can’t stand a bad tomato, but then you get a fresh one straight from the garden, and it’s heaven!
6. Sardines: Cat food or human food? A small whiff can make you seasick or have you loading them on pizza and Caesar salads. Whether fresh or in flat metal cans, the salty little fish has some so obsessed, they’ll eat the bones.
*** My dad used to get tins of these when mom was gone and we’d eat them. I never liked them… actually does remind me of cat food. I also am not a fan of fish (back when I ate meat)… I can’t get past the smell and the texture of it.
7. Black licorice: Even the red licorice-tolerant may draw the line here. Black licorice gum, jelly beans, tea, Good n’ Plentys, and Jägermeister get it. Along with any herb, like anise or fennel, that resembles the flavor. Lovers say it’s an acquired taste, but I think the little kids have it straight here. Not a real candy.
*** I’d never go out of my way to buy black licorice… red or brown is my fav… but I don’t mind it if I do eat it. Ooo… does this qualify me for a gold star pinned to the ole nostril?
8. Stinky cheeses
: If this smell came from something else (a shoe or dog), I might take issue, but knowing it’s from a dairy gob, growing moldy in a controlled environment, I’m fine with the pungent aroma. When others sniff Gorgonzola or Roquefort, they’re convinced that feet or laundry were actually involved.
*** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! If it stinks, I dry heave. I cannot even stomach smelling the cat’s food, let alone have to eat it. I love me some cheese… but leave the stinky ones for the athlete’s foot medicine.
9. Mayo: Whether Hellmann’s or even Miracle Whip, does the creamy off-white slime strip the taste off food or magically make anything better? Haters have been told to try it homemade, but for many, this won’t make a tuna or egg salad look any less scary.
*** Miracle Whip is my favorite of the two. On a sandwich, in a pasta salad, etc. The tangy zip of Miracle Whip… 😛
10. Bell Pepper: To some, all those colorful strips are a mouthful of crisp freshness. To others, they’re the backseat driver of vegetables. On a pizza or in pasta, they’re supposed to be one of many veggie passengers, but no. The bell pepper’s always got to be the loud guy telling your taste buds where to go — and green, he’s the loudest. Green is actually unripened, picked from the vine before its more sweet (and edible) brethren.
*** Peppers are delicious!! Stir fries, plain, in fajitas, on sandwiches, plain, oh, and did I mention plain? Yes, please!
11. Beets: Despite all my white T-shirts you have stained purple, I still love you, beets. People fear you from an early age, but roasted or pickled, you take on a whole new form. The other camp believes the beet smell is such a toss-up between ick and gross and the beet taste is like a metallic vitamin that it’s just not meant to be.
*** NEGATIVE to the 5 millionth power!! Cannot stand the texture of a beet. My mom and sister are fans of ordering an extra side of beets on their salads, and then I end up giving them my portion of beets. To each their own!
Question of the Day: Which of these foods are you a fan of? Which do you dislike?