If at first you suck at hiking… take a nap instead! That’s my motto! Y’all may remember take 1 at hiking (my uncage the singing bird bucket list item). This past Friday night, I decided to try this hiking thing again. This time, I was a teensy bit smarter… no rocking horse shoes and no 90-degree inclines. I guess 2 out of 5 ain’t too bad because I still left after 8:30 at night and I still didn’t have a hiking stick… I also still weighed 18 to the 2nd power minus 12 pounds (minus 10 now… buh bye plateau… hello scale movement!) Sometimes I remind myself of one of those old crankity women who like to complain all the time. You young whipper snappers… turn down that devil music… my dentures are rattlin’! I sure did my share of it on the trail… my knees hurt, the wind blew a dune of sand into my eyeballs, there’s a spider!!!!!, they need to pave this thing it would be much easier, are we there yet?, why don’t they build a McDonald’s along this trail… etc., etc., etc. And that was all within the first 3 minutes!!! I’m pretty sure I complain to alleviate the nerves and to silence those voices in the back of my noggin’ telling me you can’t do this! I also got onto this kick about it getting dark… because you know since we were approximately 1 mile into the canyon, we’d have to make camp, and no one would find us in this vast wilderness, and winter would come and we’d be found the next summer frosted into the shape of that kid from Home Alone after he put on the after shave. Oh, the HORROR!!!!! I even found evidence that the last hikers on this here trail were NOT vegetarians!! I’m just saying… case in point:
That there ain’t no kumquat wrapper!!! I tell you what! Madre had to smack me upside the head a couple of 800 times, but I kept a walking until she got so tired of my it’s getting dark rants that we turned around and headed for the car. I’m not getting royalties from my work on the movie, Home Alone…. thank you very much!
Hiking is going to be out of the loop for a while until I can figure out my dagblasted plantar fasciitis issue. My feet hate me and they hated that I exerted them on a hike in non-rocking horse shoes! Stupid feet. I will have to be the fat chick on the bicycle until I can get up the desire to go see a podiatrist. Oh, doctors… why can’t you be more like Google and less like expensive.
To update the other bucket list items… I’m currently at 115 miles on my biking to Las Vegas journey… 385 left to go before it starts to snow. As for the trip to Palmyra, NY. I jumped and bought my one-way tickets to get there (they were having a sale)… still have no tickets to get my receptacle home, so I might have to move into whomever’s house is on the East coast… either that or hitchike back. What could go wrong? Donner Party!
Question of the Day: Where are you at in your bucket list item accomplishments? Updates! Any advice on plantar fasciitis cures?