I See You Twoberland!

Is it normal that I wake up in the morning to earwigs crawling on my face!?  No?  THANK YOU!!  My thoughts ex-freaking-actly!  But I did… the other morning I woke up because it felt like I had lice throwing a barbecue in my hair follicles… (side note before you decide to call the Department of Health or the men in white coats:  I DO NOT HAVE LICE!) and then it felt like they decided to hold a Viennese Waltz competition on my forehead.  Much to my delight, it turned out to be 2 adorable earwigs scurrying around trying to get in their bug to-do list.  Of course, I stayed calm and then gently placed them outside so they could scurry off to meet up with their earwig buddies.  NOT!!!!  I nearly ruptured a disk trying to get those things off of me… gathered them up in 52 paper towels (if you only use one you get earwig guts on your fingers… ask the Bounty people), and then flushed the suckers down the toilet… (side note… I still have nightmares that all the bugs I’ve flushed down the toilet over the years are going to resubmerge one day and get revenge by biting me on the receptacle… all at the same time!)  Wuss you say!?  Heck no… I’m a survivor… and a warrior… don’t get no creepy crawly thing within 5000 steps of this chic… I’ll scream it’s ears out.

That’s beside the point.  It’s officially been a week since I started preplanning my days food wise… trying to jolt some sense into my cranium holder and scare the criminy pants out of this plateau I’ve been having for like 2 months.  It’s been a pleasure, plateau… but we’re moving on!  Preplanning happens to work… no matter how much I want to belly ache about the effort that I have to put into sitting down and writing out all of my meals and snacks beforehand, figuring out the calories for each food item, and tallying them up… it works.  And, I don’t know if it’s some brain trick, but it actually feels as if I’m eating more, when in actuality I’m eating fewer calories since I’m no longer throwing in 5 extra spoonfuls and grazing through the cupboards before each meal.

How do I know it’s working?  As of Saturday, I’ve lost 5.5 pounds since Monday bringing me to a total of 222.2 pounds lost.  See you 10s…  Note to Whitney’s cranium holder… those results will NOT be typical… thank you water weight.  That’s cool and all, but it also brings me within single digits of that ever elusive reaching of the 200s (or as I like to call it… Twoberland!)  I’ve never seen a 2 before my weight my entire adult life… the last time I remember seeing a 2 in front of my weight I was 14 years old, weighing myself in secret in my parent’s bathroom at 286 pounds.  Fourteen was many moons and pimples ago, and here I sit, just 8 pounds from reaching those 200s.  Most folks think geeking out over weighing in the 200s is psychotic… nobody aspires to weigh 299 pounds… but when you’ve visited the 3s, 4s, and 5s, the 2s are a blessing.

I’ll totes be having a par-tay on that day!  BUFFET STYLE!  (Oh… maybe that’s not the best use of my cranium holder.)  Okay… maybe not buffet style, but I’m going to do something… maybe I’ll buy a nation or master rubbing my stomach and patting my head at the same time… ooo… OR… and this might be the winner… I’ll figure out what exactly they put in a Twinkie to make it survive for thousands and thousands of years!  Either way, that’s a milestone worth celebrating.  It’s funny… the weight loss surgery didn’t get me to this point… all of those infommercial diet ads didn’t get me to this point… Weight Watchers, Richard Simmons, gym equipment, and the thousands of dollars I’ve spent on that crap over the years didn’t get me to this point.  What did?  Sheer will and hard work.  Forget those easy ways out… they don’t exist.  Strap on your work boots and get ready to dig in… it’s gonna be a long road!

Question of the Day:  What was your last milestone (either weight loss wise or just life in general)? 





Filed under Calorizing

14 responses to “I See You Twoberland!

  1. cl2

    CONGRATULATIONS! My next milestone is the 100s, but I’ve been working on that for months and still haven’t gotten there. Too hot to care right now. These are my 2 least favorite months of the year and I just try to survive.

  2. Avster

    I think you should wake up with earwigs on your face once a week. Think of all the calories you burn getting them off!

  3. Kayjay

    You’re doing great Whitney!! You should be so proud and I know what you mean about reaching the 2’s….I figure people probably thought I was absurd for being excited to weigh 2 anything but last year it was 5 something. I’ve also found that the planning thing is key and it has helped me keep on track. Just wanted to tell you that I enjoy reading your blog and I feel like I can relate to you because we have come from almost the exact same starting weight. Congratulations and keep up the awesome work!

  4. Hi Whitney! Ok, so waking up with earwigs crawling on my face would have me feeling like I had creepy crawlies on me all day! Eeeew!

    CONGRATULATIONS! What do you like to do to celebrate? I’ve had to rethink that one since most celebratory foods don’t fit in too well with calorizing! Shopping? Or batting cages maybe? 😉

    My sister called me a week or so ago asking if I thought she should order this supplement that is supposed to help you lose weight. I read the whole article about it and it said that it would be a good aid if you exercise and eat right. So, I gave her my two cents and said that it might help AS LONG AS they (her and my bro in law) exercise and adjust their diet. We saw them yesterday and my bro in law was telling us about this fat jiggling machine they got that you get in that supposedly gives you an hour workout in 10 minutes. He thinks that that machine and the new supplement are the answer. They’ll never listen to me when I tell them they have to just change their lifestyle. It makes me sad for them because they are ALWAYS looking for the new, latest and greatest thing to make their lives easier. It’s about lifestyle; input and output. My sweet beanpole of a husband has weighed the same since we married 13 years ago. He’s close to a foot taller than I am, so I really hate it when I weigh more than he does. He did graduate in exercise physiology though and loves to do all things active. He likes his ice cream, but when he sits down to his ice cream at night, it’s one spoonful! In the Austin (my maiden name) household, when you sat down to your ice cream, it was a LARGE bowl, and sometimes you had a second!

    OK, OK, I’ll stop ranting now. I’ve found that since I’m not eating so much anymore – I occasionally have to rant to get out those emotions, especially when I play a pretty lame game of racquetball. 😦

    Anywho, on a totally different note – since I am your neighbor (up the street just below the church), I have loads of lettuce in my garden. If you’d like some, let me know!

    • Oh dear… I guess the best way to learn the lesson is for them to try the thing and realize that even if they do lose weight on it, they’ll gain it back before they know it. Has to be a lifestyle change… no fads… but I probably wouldn’t have listened to anyone back in the olden days.

      As for your husband and the one spoonful of ice cream… he needs to farm those tips out… it’s like the Lay’s slogan… you can’t eat just one!! I am getting better now at just having a taste of things… not all the way better… but somewhat better!

      YOu have lettuce!? How awesome is that? I’ll have to hit you up for some when I finally get around to the batting cages!

  5. That story about the earwigs totally freaked me out! Now I am not going to be able to sleep. Thanks a lot, girlie! Actually, my biggest issue has been and likely always will be spiders. I could run a freaking marathon if I knew a spider was behind me.

    I am with you on the wonderful 2’s. Fluctuating right now between 8-9 pounds before I reach 299. I think I am going to give that whole planning out the day beforehand things a try. Sounds like it might be a winner.

    I am really proud of you and your perseverance, even when you reached that plateau. You are a true inspiration to all of us and I can’t wait to be with you on that ride into the magnificent twoberland! Much love 😀

    • I didn’t know we were so close to the same weight… that rocks and I KNOW we’ll be in those 2s before we even know what hit us upside the head! PAR-TAY on that day!!!! Thanks for the sweet comment, Samantha and ditto it back to you!

  6. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomOfTwo

    Leaving to go to my Daddy’s side, Whitney.

    Keep up all your hard work. I am glad you are over your plateau and the planning is working for you.
    I am getting close to seeing One-derland.
    Emotional time for me now and so not sure where my wt loss journey will take me.
    I will try and stay balanced – best that I can.

    Please pray for me – I am scared.

  7. Jen

    I remember when I lived with you and a big beetle dropped from the ceiling and landed on my face while I was in bed one morning, so I can definitely sympathize. However earwigs sound much worse.

  8. Way to bull doze that plateau, Whitney! You are an inspiration.

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