Is it normal that I wake up in the morning to earwigs crawling on my face!? No? THANK YOU!! My thoughts ex-freaking-actly! But I did… the other morning I woke up because it felt like I had lice throwing a barbecue in my hair follicles… (side note before you decide to call the Department of Health or the men in white coats: I DO NOT HAVE LICE!) and then it felt like they decided to hold a Viennese Waltz competition on my forehead. Much to my delight, it turned out to be 2 adorable earwigs scurrying around trying to get in their bug to-do list. Of course, I stayed calm and then gently placed them outside so they could scurry off to meet up with their earwig buddies. NOT!!!! I nearly ruptured a disk trying to get those things off of me… gathered them up in 52 paper towels (if you only use one you get earwig guts on your fingers… ask the Bounty people), and then flushed the suckers down the toilet… (side note… I still have nightmares that all the bugs I’ve flushed down the toilet over the years are going to resubmerge one day and get revenge by biting me on the receptacle… all at the same time!) Wuss you say!? Heck no… I’m a survivor… and a warrior… don’t get no creepy crawly thing within 5000 steps of this chic… I’ll scream it’s ears out.
That’s beside the point. It’s officially been a week since I started preplanning my days food wise… trying to jolt some sense into my cranium holder and scare the criminy pants out of this plateau I’ve been having for like 2 months. It’s been a pleasure, plateau… but we’re moving on! Preplanning happens to work… no matter how much I want to belly ache about the effort that I have to put into sitting down and writing out all of my meals and snacks beforehand, figuring out the calories for each food item, and tallying them up… it works. And, I don’t know if it’s some brain trick, but it actually feels as if I’m eating more, when in actuality I’m eating fewer calories since I’m no longer throwing in 5 extra spoonfuls and grazing through the cupboards before each meal.
How do I know it’s working? As of Saturday, I’ve lost 5.5 pounds since Monday bringing me to a total of 222.2 pounds lost. See you 10s… Note to Whitney’s cranium holder… those results will NOT be typical… thank you water weight. That’s cool and all, but it also brings me within single digits of that ever elusive reaching of the 200s (or as I like to call it… Twoberland!) I’ve never seen a 2 before my weight my entire adult life… the last time I remember seeing a 2 in front of my weight I was 14 years old, weighing myself in secret in my parent’s bathroom at 286 pounds. Fourteen was many moons and pimples ago, and here I sit, just 8 pounds from reaching those 200s. Most folks think geeking out over weighing in the 200s is psychotic… nobody aspires to weigh 299 pounds… but when you’ve visited the 3s, 4s, and 5s, the 2s are a blessing.
I’ll totes be having a par-tay on that day! BUFFET STYLE! (Oh… maybe that’s not the best use of my cranium holder.) Okay… maybe not buffet style, but I’m going to do something… maybe I’ll buy a nation or master rubbing my stomach and patting my head at the same time… ooo… OR… and this might be the winner… I’ll figure out what exactly they put in a Twinkie to make it survive for thousands and thousands of years! Either way, that’s a milestone worth celebrating. It’s funny… the weight loss surgery didn’t get me to this point… all of those infommercial diet ads didn’t get me to this point… Weight Watchers, Richard Simmons, gym equipment, and the thousands of dollars I’ve spent on that crap over the years didn’t get me to this point. What did? Sheer will and hard work. Forget those easy ways out… they don’t exist. Strap on your work boots and get ready to dig in… it’s gonna be a long road!
Question of the Day: What was your last milestone (either weight loss wise or just life in general)?