A Love Letter to Gnats…

Dear Little Flying Wing-Like Creatures Barely Visible To The Nekked Eye:

What do you do all day?  All swarming together in a black cloud of disgusting, waiting for some unsuspecting bikers to ride along and turn into pointy-tongued frogs?  I’m sure it puts a damper on your family reunion when half of your relations decide to go swimming in the gastrointestinal tract of the above-mentioned unsuspecting bikers.  Up the nostril and down the esophagus… it’s like an amusement park up in that tract.  Next time you decide to hold a fruit fly convention, at least let me know in advance and I’ll be sure to wash it down with a bottle of tobasco sauce.

Sincerely,

Trying To Figure The Calories in 5 Dozen Swarms of Gnats

P.S.  It’s Whitney’s mini vacation time… she will be back to regular posting next week… I’ll probably post another lame contribution tomorrow, but nothing requring brain power… until then… peace out, my friends!  Go get you some vitamin D!

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11 Comments

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11 responses to “A Love Letter to Gnats…

  1. Jen

    That was funny. Why are you on vacation?

  2. Avster

    Whit, try using a vanilla spray. The gnats don’t care for the scent of vanilla and will leave you alone. =)

    • What if I just eat a bunch of vanilla ice cream before I go biking? Thanks for the tip, Avster! I love the smell of vanilla anyway… I’ll just wear a car air freshener around my neck.

  3. cl2

    Vitamin D? I’ll stay out of the sun right now! Thanks!

    I hope you are doing okay. How’s your cat?

    And–I finally got around to going back and reading other comments–and we’ll definitely have to do dinner when I get back in town.

  4. Louisa

    Ick to the swarm of gnats up your nose and down your esophogus…

    I hate it when that happens!

    Taking more off my mom by doing her housework duties. She just can’t do the dusting, vacuuming, and general cleaning like she would like since Dad is needing her every 30 min or so. I have taken over the housework and my kids are helping as well. We have also taken over all the outside chores ( tending to animals, hauling feed, hauling off brush, gardening, and cleaning barns ).
    I am better able to help my Dad transfer from bed to chair, chair to bathroom, and chair to bed than my Mom is. He asked me to help him do his leg exercises today as well ( something about helping to get some of his fluid swelling down ). It doesn’t matter to me the why, I will help him anyway I can.
    My kids help their gramma in the kitchen a lot so that really makes a difference too. They set the table and help clean off dishes to go in the dishwasher. They bring up dirty clothes and can strip beds. Thankfully, they are old enough to have a lot of terrific memories of Gramma & Grampa and they are willing and able to jump right in and do whatever is necessary. Sometimes they just sit and talk to Grampa or do a puzzle in his room so he can know they are there.
    We try and knock out 99% of the outside chores first thing in the am so the hottest part of the day they can be working on their schoolwork ( which we brought along ) and playing the piano for Grampa ( which we also brought along ). He is loving that.

    I have a NSV to share with you Whitney.
    I brought along my size 16 denim capris to try and keep me focused on my wt loss journey during all this. Not sure how long we will need to be here.
    Turns out I got them up and buttoned and I can breathe and sit in them. No one was more surprised than I…let me tell you!

    I hope you have a very nice mini-vacation and get some Vit D yourself.

    Keep on…keepin’ on…

    • So happy for you on the size 16 pants NSV, Louisa. That is truly an accomplishment. I know that your mom must feel a great burden has been lifted off of her shoulders with you and the kids there. It is always good to know that you have someone who has your back and can help you through… you all take care of each other! Hugs!

  5. I guess it’s protein, right? Just remember to floss after your bike rides. Hope you are enjoying your extremely well-deserved break and doing something relaxing!

  6. Pingback: Dieting Tips… AKA I’ll Beat You In the Head If You Try Any Of These! « craving a life

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