I am fully aware that the above title makes absolutely no sense… but I revel in titles that make no sense… sue me and then tell Judge Judy I’d like her autograph… and for her to yell at me on my voicemail. This past Wednesday I took a day off from work and actually planned to do something other than sit around and stare at the weeds on the ditch bank. Glorious! I had made plans to load up my bike in Padre’s truck (bwahahahahahaha… he had to drive Beulah the Buick to work… she was totes styling!) and head to Bear Lake for the day… do some bike riding… do some sitting… and just revel in having no set plans. Madre decided she would come with me… she is always up for getting a day off from work… ALWAYS! Me, on the other hand… you have to pry my cold and clammy white hands off of the keyboard before I take a day. I’m learning that I need to do it more often, though… make me less crankity and bitter and more laid back with less of a stick up my rear quarters. OUCH… yeah… tell me about it.
This is also the first time I have EVER… and did I mention EVER planned a day trip around doing something active. Any day trip up until now included questions like… How long is the walk from the parking lot to the first available couch? When do we eat dinner and is it a buffet? Will this trip require any unnecessary sweating? and my most favorite question… Where the helium is the chocolate!?!?!? Oh wait… I still ask that question daily. Choctastic!
Obvs, the wind was blowing like we weren’t in Kansas anymore… and I’m also thinking of designing a bike ramp park on my forehead… stupid big head. We decided we were going to pretend we were tourists (even though we’ve been to Bear Lake many times before) and take pictures of everything. I can’t count the number of times that someone asked if we wanted them to take a picture of the both of us… nice of them, but my camera was not happy at having to take my picture!
I love these mom and pop stores and we made sure to stop and check ’em out… plus Madre had to get her happy juice… she is addicted you know!
Diet Dr. Pepper in tow (stop it… what ‘happy juice’ did you think I was referring to?), we were ready to start out on our adventure! We decided we’d first drive around the whole lake (about 45ish miles) and find a relatively uncrowded beach somewheres. Nothing worse than having to beach next to 8000 people with farmer tans… plus fat chicks on the beach are usually called whales. No, I’m not self conscious… why do you ask?
We finally settled on camping our chairs at Bear Lake State Park… you had the choice of sand OR grass… and the best part, only a handfull of people on the Day Trip side. Of course I had to act like a camel and hold it all day… the day Whitney uses a smelly stall, with a never-ending black hole of stench, no flushy handle, and no running water is the day Donald Trump cuts his rug off. Now that I’ve shared way too much information… moving on…
The views from my lawn chair. I even hiked up my pedal pushers a little to try to get a suntan… yeah… didn’t work. I still match Casper the Ghost… except I think he might be a little darker than I am. Next up, we untied the bikes and rode them up and down the state park on the gravel roads. I was putting on a show for the new people… that’s right… pay to see the fat chic on the bike… come one and all! We loaded up the bikes again and decided to head to the bike trail I had read about on the Inter-Al Gore…. erm… I mean Internet. The bike trail was about 8 to 10 miles round trip and I soon found out had more gnats per square capita than China has people. I ‘et good that day, I’ll tell you what. Some of the things we saw along the trail:
The lighthouse I almost moved into… LOVE me a lighthouse!
I also liked this lil’ house with all of it’s cute quaintness.
We then biked to this restaurant and washed down the gnats with these fellars… Cafe Sabor is in Logan too… but I knew the calories in my regular veggie fajitas and so got that! Dinner over, we biked back to the truck, loaded up the bikes, and headed to Pickleville to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
I am happy to say that this is the first time I’ve been to Pickleville (even though I’ve wanted to go many times), because this is the first time my rear receptacle has fit into the seats. Thank you, Jenny Craig (oh wait… NOT). We sat in the midst of approximately 85,000 teenage girls who were in Bear Lake for girl’s camp. Of course my first thought was, when was the last time these gals showered? So far as I could tell they were fairly cleanly. I felt bad for the dude on the stage who forgot to zip his fly… every teen girl in the place was practically on the floor in hysterics… Lesson #1: ALWAYS check your fly! Joseph was totes hilarious and we are currently making plans to go back next month to see Bandito… thank you, Richard Simmons (NOT!) After the play, it was late and time to make the 60-minute drive back home… but not before picking us up a “world famous raspberry shake”! Bear Lake is raspberry country and they are forever touting their world famousness (anyone else heard of them who isn’t from UT or ID?) I rest my case.
Only had to shimmy through approximately 85,000 12-year-old boys at Scout Camp who were all hopped up on sugar and being away from their parents for a week. Shakes are the perfect treat for me. Since I’m lactose intolerant, I only eat few spoonfuls and then I’m done with it. A taste is all I need when it comes to ice cream! I had a great time… next time I’m going to get up the guts to step in the water… but first I have to get over my aversion of swimming in feces and then buy a swimsuit! We’ll give it 5 or so more years!
Question of the Day: What is the last “day trip” you took and what did you do?
P.S. Happy Pioneer Day Utahites!! Hope y’all celebrate it up and think of me while I am working… just don’t be like Madre and sing the following song:
Come, come ye Saints… no toilet paper near…
But no fear… sagebrush YAY!
Tsk, tsk Madre… so disrespectful!