Whitney Versus Every Bug In the Nation and China!

Y’all… I’m totes lucky to be alive this awesome Mondee (no, it’s not opposite day… and yes, I did use the words “lovely” and “Mondee” in the same dagnabbed sentence).  Why do I say that you ask?  I’m glad you asked (stop it… even if you didn’t ask, you KNOW I’m going to blather on like a maniac for at least 3 paragraphs).  I’ve mentioned at least a billion times that I despise bugs and creepy crawly, slimy, ugly, moving, slithering, infested, germy beings… almost as much as I despise the bane of my existence… I said ALMOST!  The last month or so there’s been an onslaught of above-mentioned beings living in my basement… and it’s not like they weigh 300 pounds and eat their weight in chocolate (we’d have a SERIOUS problem if that were the case… hands the heck off my chocolate crawly ugly beings!)  It just so happens that I freak out every time a spider the size of my desired serving of cake flits across the floor like it’s paying rent or some such nonsense… I did not ask for crawly roommates… I think my rent should be discounted.  There’s a Bible verse on this topic.  Something to the effect… “And it came to pass that there were 8-legged crawly beings infesting the abode… and Whitney was sore afraid.”  Don’t try to look that verse up… it’s only in my copy… but it’s an autographed copy.

So, the ugly crawly thing runs across the floor, Whitney immediately gets up off her duff-nox like she’s won the lottery and does the dance of horror… it’s more of a jig… actually, it’s more like me standing in the middle of the floor, pointing at the crawly thing, and screaming at whomever is in the room to get rid of it… flush it down the toilet trap and save me from the big bad spider thinger.  HUGE-mongous spiders are the one thing I draw the line at ever picking up in my armour of 8 billion paper towels.  I’ll pick up the dreaded earwigs, centipedes, beetles, small spiders, etc., etc., etc., but thou shalt NOT pick up spiders the size of thy head!

Recently, we’ve had an infestation of flies.  HUGE flies… like the size of horse flies flying around the basement.  I’ve spent at least 3 hours over the weekend, fly swatter in hand, chasing these suckers down… no exaggeration.  Whacked me off at least 12 of those buggers.  It’s like I’m in the flea good riddance mob… except with less cigars.

I always say I can only conquer one thing at a time.  Right now I’m working on building up an aversion to eating like a sumo wrestler… the irrational fear of crawly things will have to come later.  We’re prioritizing, people!  No one ever done died of an aversion to spiders… but plenty of folk have passed on due to an aversion of all things movement and vegetable.

Question of the Day:  What’s your biggest irrational fear?  Any exterminating of crawly things suggestions?  I’m getting rid of these things if it kills me!

Meanwhile… back in the land of lazy visiting guest kitties who should be pulling their weight while I buy their kitten food… instead of jumping right up to save Whitney from these vicious crawly things, she was doing a bit of this:

And then she was doing some of this:

And most importantly… she was doing some of this:

Why yes, I’m glad you asked… those are all dead-to-the world sleeping kitty photos and yes, this cat is still available to the first home who claims her!  I done badgered every guest who came by the house to take the cute little thing until they vowed to never return due to my psychotic salesman approach.  Almost had the thing in Lindsay and Shayne’s car to take home tonight, but then Madre ruined it!  Sweet kitty… FREE… contact me!  😛



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22 responses to “Whitney Versus Every Bug In the Nation and China!

  1. She looks so sweet, maybe she’ll help with the spiders and stuff when she wakes up from her lil snooze…
    I have a totally irrational fear of moths, any size, even the tiny ones! My cats used to catch them, as they did with spiders and other such thingsn but sadly they are no longer with me and our dog just looks at the things and does nothing. Oh well. Good luck with the bugs and the sweet kitty 🙂

  2. cl2

    Earwigs. I’ve had a lot of them the past week I’ve been home. Didn’t see any in Colorado. Killed 4 or 5 last night. I hate spiders, too–especially those giant gray spiders. I always liked using an exterminator for years (my mother always had one come and spray every year), but I don’t know if that is a good thing to do anymore. For years I couldn’t afford them so I have used “green” bug bombs before that seem to work. I actually throw them in the window wells. Mice I’m sure will be back this fall.

    Funny thing–I’m in Utah right now. Mike told me that his giant puppy caught a mouse yesterday. It was dead the minute she caught it (she has huge teeth or it died of a heart attack). So–he doesn’t need a cat.

    • Green bug bombs… I will have to search for those… does that mean that they won’t harm pets if they happen upon them? LOL about the mouse that died of a heart attack!! That’s funny!

  3. Karen

    Met your darling gray kitty when stopped to see you Mom on Saturday. She is darling and I held her and could be very attached, but I do have a cat. Connie (cat from CT) would not like a roommate plus we have GDB dogs come by here on a regular basis. Would be happy to help buy food. She is too cute. Will ask around for someone wanting a kitten.
    Spiders do not bother me, but do pick them up and get them out!

    • She is totally a cute lil’ thing, Karen! If no one ponies up, I might have to give in and keep the thing. I can’t send it to the shelter!! Thanks for asking around about the kitty… she needs some learning, but she is a sweetheart!

  4. Lisa

    Sorry Whit…sounds like that adorable little kittie is working her way into your home and heart 🙂

  5. Holly H.

    Okay so I wasn’t going to comment but in the middle of reading your blog some girls with sheep showed up at my door (no that part is not my irrational fear, just one of the bonus’ of being in yw). Anyway while talking to them I saw a huge web with a big ugly white spider on it. I HATE spiders and this one was big enough that I’m waiting for Brent to come home to kill it. I think it’s a cat face spider, so gross, I’m getting shivers just writing about it.

    • Ewwwwwww… the only thing worse than a nasty-looking spider is a nasty-looking spider in it’s spider web!!! Ick, ick, ick!! I was going to say… only in Cache Valley would you have girls show up on your porch with sheep in tow! I’m assuming fair time is around the corner!

  6. Jen

    That kitty is just so cute! I am tempted….but no I can’t do it. I hate sneezing 24/7. Irrational fears…I am scared of being alone in a dark hallway in the hospital in the middle of the night. I’ve heard too many ghost stories from my coworkers.

  7. My irrational fear is spiders. I walked onto the porch the other day and ran into a spider web. The thing had decided to give me a screened in porch…. with web. It was terrifying. Then he was ON me. ON ME! It was the scariest moment of my life. I brushed him off, freaked out, and then threw a log at him. Other than that, I have no extermination ideas. :<

    • Bwahahaha! I have not yet tried throwing a log at them! Thanks for the extermination tip! I’ll get right on that! Ew… just reading about the spider landing on you gave me all sorts of shivers!! Hate those ugly things!

  8. Liz

    Well Snakes don’t crawl, but they slither, which is even worse in my opinion!
    That cat is one adorable little love muffin! But I’m lucky to be allowed one in our house. Just keep it. You know you want to!

  9. Louisa

    Question of the Day: What’s your biggest irrational fear? Any exterminating of crawly things suggestions? I’m getting rid of these things if it kills me!

    My biggest irrational fear would be bridges.
    Yeh, I know. That is why it is irrational.
    I really hate bridges.

    Have you tried those sticky paper bug trap things?
    They catch snakes, lizards, all kinds of bugs and multi-legged crawly things, small mice & more.
    Really good traps. I have seen them in use at my mother-in-laws old farm house a few yrs back and they catch everything.
    If I were to guess, you should be able to find them at a farm & home or garden type store.

    Keep on…keepin on…

    • Ooo… bridges… that’s an interesting one. I hate the ones that look all rickety and badly built, but I’m okay on the sturdy ones.

      I have not tried the sticky paper bug traps. Will have to search for them next time I go shopping. I assume it’s only going to get worse before winter gets here! Thanks, Louisa!

  10. I hear ya on the bug infestation. I’m about sick of ’em. My irrational fear is hands down snakes. If a spider is too big, I will freak out but I can handle the smaller ones. My mom’s secret weapon is hairspray. She will spray it on any sort of bug and it won’t be able to fly any more or will shrivel up in the case of a spider. Totes disgusting, but effective. The 8-layer paper towel method is much easier when there’s no chance it will move!

    • I hadn’t heard of hairspray as a bug paralyzer… but it does make sense. I will have to get out that bottle of crappy hairspray that I hated and use that on the grossnesses!

  11. Avster

    I think Whitney secretly wants to keep the kitten!

    I suppose I shouldn’t tell you that I had a spider crawling on my arm this morning. He had to see how my arm tasted before he was flicked off of my arm.

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