Cooktastically Cheftimistic!

Madre told me I was a “nervous” cook tonight… translation: SHUT THE HECK UP AND USE THE MICROWAVE!!!  Gadfrey gurney, offspring!  Y’all anyone else who needs a Madre translator, I’m your gal… and I’m cheap too.  Will work for a chunk of chocolate and a Twizzler.

“Nervous” cook my rear kidney stone… I prefer to refer to myself as cooktastically cheftimistic.  Translation:  I can’t cook, but I’m always cheftimistic that I’ll turn out something edible one day.  I won’t even bore you with last week’s concoctions.  Okay… yes, I will.  Sunday night I made me a vegetable-laden whole wheat pasta dish.  Looked totes delish and I even got the recipe from Michelle Obama (we’re totes likethis)… LIE… the recipe was in a magazine I subscribe to that just so happened to have Michelle on the cover… part of her save the fat children campaign.  No one cared about the fat children when I was going to school… well, besides Richard “Sparkly Pantaloons” Simmons… and believe you me, no fat kid wanted to go near that for fear of the sparkle hug attack.  Frightening!!!!

So, I made this pasta dish and it told me that I was supposed to add the vegetables to the boiling pasta water in the last 3 minutes of the pasta cooking time.  Okay… easy enough.  So, I add my broccoli, snow peas, carrots, etc. to the water… but then the water stops boiling, so I have to wait for the water to start boiling again before I start my 3 minutes, right… RIGHT!?!?  Since I added approximately a vegetable drawer crisper amount of vegetation, it takes like 5 minutes for it to start boiling again… 8 minutes later I turn the thing off and drain it only to realize that the snow peas and the broccoli are like a pile of mush… touch it and it collapses into a liquidy slimy form… kind of like that green slimy goop from the old days of Nickelodeon.  Okra on steroids!  Waste not want not, so I decide I’ll just pick out the mushy parts and eat the rest of it.  NOT!!!!!!  The noodles now have the flavor of overcooked mushy vegetation.  Madre said I should just drown it in pasta sauce and cheese.  Um… hello, Madre… why don’t I just order 5 pizzas, a basket of curly fries, and a case of Dr. Pepper?  I went back to what I knew the rest of that week… sandwiches and salads… salads and sandwiches.  I’m an expert cook when it comes to those things.  Plus, we invented a new kind of cucumber brine for my cucumber, tomater sandwich… sweet and sour cucumbers… smackdastically delicious!

I didn’t let the crappy cooking experiences deter me… I was bound and determined to make something edible using fire and oven rays.  Tonight’s concoction was a Vegetarian Shepherd’s Pie… SUCCESS!!!!!!  I will eat these leftovers for days to come.  My only complaint is that it needed more flavoring… maybe next time I make it I’ll pour in a bag or 5 of chocolate chips (I KID… from the choco-holic love)!

Step 1: The Filling...

Step 2: Ready for the oven rays!

Vegetarian Shepherd’s Pie

Prep Time: 25 minutes
Cook Time: 25 minutes
Total Time: 50 minutes

1-1/2 cups vegetable broth
1-1/2 cups chopped carrots
2 onions, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1 cup sliced celery
2 cups frozen corn
1 cup frozen peas
1 tsp. pepper
2 bay leaves
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1 can of low-sodium kidney beans
2 Tbsp. flour
Mashed potatoes (peel potatoes, cut in quarters, boil in water on firey stove for 25 minutes, mash, add a bit of milk and a bit of 0-calorie spray butter, whip with egg beaters… NO LUMPS FOR WHITNEY!)
1 cup monterey jack cheese


Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. In large saucepan, combine broth, carrots, onions, garlic, mushrooms, celery, corn, peas, pepper, bay leaves and nutmeg. Cover and cook until vegetables are tender, about 10 minutes. Add kidney beans and mix well. Remove 1/2 cup of broth from saucepan and mix with flour in a small bowl. Add back to the vegetable/bean mixture in saucepan and simmer until thickened, stirring frequently. Remove bay leaves.

Spoon vegetable/bean mixture into a 3-quart casserole dish. Combine mashed potatoes and cheese in large bowl and mix to combine. Spoon potatoes over vegetable mixture. Bake at 375 degrees F for 20-30 minutes or until pie is bubbly and the potatoes begin to turn golden brown. 6 servings

The Calorie breakdown:

Vegetarian Shepherd’s Pie, 1 serving(s) Calories: 357 Carbs: 61 Fat: 5 Sodium: 587 Fiber: 7 Sugar: 9

Question of the Day:  What have you cooked recently that was a hit?



Filed under Food, Recipes

6 responses to “Cooktastically Cheftimistic!

  1. Louisa

    Love the Veggie Sheperd’s Pie, Whitney. It is very pretty and I bet very tasty too.
    Sorry the other adventures haven’t worked out so well. Just keep trying. Cooking is a trial and error kind of thing.

    Question of the Day: What have you cooked recently that was a hit?

    My Mom has had me take on more and more of the cooking duties while we are here taking care of my Dad.
    I usually end up making lunch and supper most days.
    Today, the kids & I made a rockin’ beef stew. We used the leftover pot roast meat from the other night and cut it up into small pieces and then added a lot of fresh vegetables ( fresh carrots & tomatoes from the garden, celery, potatoes, onion, water for broth, barley, and northern white beans). My Mom put in some chili sauce for flavor and it has been simmering all afternoon and making the house smell wonderful… !!

    Keep on …keepin’ on.

  2. Dinner looks yummy, Whit! Nice job. Way to get back up on that cooking horse! I made some awesome macaroni and cheese the other night. Lest you mock me for cooking it out of a box, it was from scratch and I was quite proud of myself.

  3. jen jen

    I am not a vegetarian, but that actually looks good. I haven’t liked the last few things I have made for dinner. Lately things are ending up in the garbabe, so you are not the only one that is a “nervous cook.” Tonight I settled for frozen waffles with fresh fruit and scrambled eggs.

    • You don’t have to be a vegetarian to eat it, Pen… maybe you could add in some chicken chunks… you live in spud country!! I love frozen waffles, fruit, and scrambled eggs!

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