Bwahahahahaha… I slay myself!
This was my dinner when I went to the yee hawing county fair on Saturdee night. Oh my land alive. Glory, glory hallelujah, corn is growing out my earlobes. Who thought you could just stick a wooden prong into the bottom of an ear of corn and call it a lollipop of the stars. I tell you… there’s not much better than a good piece of corn on the cob… of course I walked around the fair for the rest of the night looking like a mental dental patient with corn kernels all stuck up every gap in my teethins. I guess it’s worth it to look like a crazy person of the corn. I blended in with all the chicks walking around with their shorts perma-wedgied up their receptacle anyway. Who wears dental floss shorts? Honey, darling… just because they done made it in your size, don’t mean you need to be wearing it. Meanwhile, I was walking around in my full on astronaut suit… no skin showing for this chickaroo. I prefer to keep my skin a nice pale white color… the color of death, except without all the blue parts.
Of course a county fair isn’t complete until you’ve seen an old-fashioned #&$&# spreader… erm… I mean the fried dough stand:
So, we’re advertising this stand as “fried dough” with a big ole 2-ton elephant as the mascot? Seriously? Couldn’t be more fitting. As you can see… the kids were lined up for that sucker. I would have lined up behind them, except I left my pink elephant tutu at the dry cleaner.
They had to restrain me from breaking into this showcase and eating the canned goods… much better than any fried dough stand… and not an elephant in sight! Pssst… Avy… I tried to look for your canned cow dung entrant, but maybe the judges et it all!
This dude was totes trying to make a break for it. The fried oreos were calling his name! I woulda helped him along, but again… my pink elephant tutu was at the dry cleaner.
My city’s display… totally made out of all things edible… corn kernels, rice, fruits, etc. I know the ladies who made this and they did a dagnabbed great job, if you ask me. Of course, no visit to the County Fair is complete without a visit with Ma and Pa Geezer…
Aren’t they sweet? Would totes be a great addition to my hoarding collection! Coughcough… birthday coming up… Coughcough! Who needs Oil of Olay and Botox? Keep the wrinkles natural! I’m embracing my wrinkles! I need to bask in the wisdom! Another County Fair done and over with. On to 2012. Maybe next year they’ll come up with a way to fry corn… On second thought… don’t give them any idears!
Question of the Day: Did you go to your County Fair? What was your favorite part?