I’m In A Funk… Sunk… In A Pool of Pitiful!

*** Craunchitis – Inflammation of the craunch bone where one becomes raunchy and cranky at varying intervals, brought on by wormones and a general restlessness, most often associated with cupcakeitis. 

Lately, I’ve had a major case of the craunchitis disease.  I’d draw y’all a picture of where the flim flam in the body the craunch bone is located, but you can’t see it with the nekked eye… but it’s there and it’s real dangerous when it done gets inflamed.  You ever seen the Jerry Springer show (not that I ever watched the show, but the few times I have ventured across it were enough to ingrain it into my brain folds for a lifetime)?  ALL of the guests on the Springer show have craunchitis… chair throwing, nose fuming, foaming at the toothless mouth, incoherent raving mad lunatic language… ALL signs of craunchitis.  I looked in the mirror the other day and was totes showing signs of foaming at the mouth… scared the crapitis out of me… until I realized I’d forgotten to wipe the toothpaste off my mouth.  Phew… because when you start foaming at the mouth, the disease is in it’s later stages… there’s no hope at that point.  They might as well wrap you up snug like in your favorite strait jacket and lock you in the Springer supply closet.

Why have I been such a CA-RANK, lately?  I can’t put my finger on it exactly, but I do have a sneaking suspicion that I’m starting to feel that stagnitis disease again.  You know the one where you feel like you’re swimming in the same dirty pool and desparately want to take off to the neighbor’s nice clean one?  I’m getting back into a routine again.  Sure, I have my Mission:  Uncage the Singing Bird goals that I’m currently working on.

1.  Hike More this summer:  Done and done… I’ve been on 3 hikes (albeit not strenuous hikes due to my plantar fasciitis issues), but that’s approximately 300% more hikes than I’ve EVER been on in the past.

2.  Go on a trip to NY.  Tickets bought, date saved, plans in progress.

3.  Bike 500 miles before it snows.  I’m currently at 308 miles biked… just 192 left to go in the next couple of months.  My home teacher volunteered for me to tag along on the LotoJa race that he’s riding next month… whack out that 200 miles in one sitting.  Um… sorry, man… you are on your own for at LEAST the next 3 or 4 years!

Those are all accomplishments, but I feel like I’ve pretty much conquered those… and am just trying to get them to completion.  I guess that means it’s time for me to come up with some new, more immediate goals to work on.  Smack me out of my comfort zone some more so I can progress and move onto the next level of conquerment… that’s why I’ve decided here and now that I’m announcing my candidacy for President of the United States of America!

Why are y’all laughing!?!?!?  STOP!!  😛  Okay, so I lied about that last part… that wouldn’t just be out of my comfort zone, that would be moving to a whole new planet, growing ears out of my receptacle, and becoming a sewage stewer.  PASS!!!!!  I’m going to have to think on my new comfort zone smashing goals/bucket list items since the decision-making process will require list making and obsessing and hyperventilating into a paper bag time.  Do not go near the girl in the corner with the paper bag over her mouth… she just has a case of craunchitis and it’s TOTES contagious!

*** The following song has been my bad mood theme song since for forever!  Whenever I’m in a bad mood, I’ll blast this song and sing at the top of my dagnabbed lungs.  It makes me want to go key some cars and kick down some corn stalks or something… EMPOWERING!  Disclaimer:  No cars or corn stalks were harmed in the playing of this song!  Carry on!

Question of the Day:  How are you coming along with your bucket list items?  What do you do when you get that stagnitis feeling?

Real Bad Mood by The Wilkinsons

Don’t play me no love songs
I ain’t in love today
Don’t play me no train songs
I ain’t going away
Don’t play me no Gospel songs
The good Lord knows the truth
I’m in a real bad mood

Don’t play me no rock ‘n’ roll
I don’t want to dance
Don’t play me no Hillbilly
I’m too blue for grass
That cheesy easy listenin’ stuff
Is for elevator fools
I’m in a real bad mood

I’m in a funk, sunk
In a pool of pitiful
I got the mange
I’m a chain (son)
You don’t wanna pull
You don’t wanna
Cross this old yard dog
If you know what’s
Good for you
I’m in a real bad mood

I don’t want no beans and taters
I ain’t got no appetite
And them cold store bought tomatoes
Lord it just makes me want to fight
Yeah I want to chew on something
And I ain’t just a little uptight
I’m in a real bad mood



Filed under Getting A Life, Mission: Uncage the Singing Bird

14 responses to “I’m In A Funk… Sunk… In A Pool of Pitiful!

  1. Avster

    Love that bottom photo!

    You reminded me that I didn’t warn you that I tend to be last minute planner. I generally have a plan all mapped out in my head but no one ever hears of it until a day or two before that day.

  2. cl2

    Could it be the HEAT? Or going into fall? I hate this time of year until September 1st hits and supposedly it gets cooler?!?!?! August–why do they call it the dog days of summer. Dogs are the best–but I’m sick, been through other stuff, etc., and I just want chocolate cake today (had some the other day and threw the rest away–and now I wish I had it–will be going to get me some in a while). August has not been a good month for me, so maybe after today . . . I’m not walking. I’ve been working really hard around my house–REALLY HARD–but I guess I am working on my weekends off. I will not be working Labor Day weekend. You have no idea how out of my comfort zone I feel not working EVERY DAY even for a little while–leaving my computer behind. Going to Alaska next week and taking my computer just in case I find time to work . . . am I crazy or what?

    Anyway–this is the time of year school always starts and I still have flashbacks of making my kids go back to school. I always breathe a sigh of relief that I don’t have to do that any longer. Better get back to work so I can go get chocolate cake when it seems not too insane (it is only 7:31 a.m.).

    • I hope you have a blast in Alaska, Colleen and that you forget all about that computer and kick back and enjoy it!

      I hope that now that it’s September you can see an end to this whole heat thing you hate so much!

      I think the fact that summer is “over” is part of the reason for my funk… as you know I cannot take the winter months, especially with all of the cold and inversion air. I love me some summer!

      Enjoy the chocolate cake! Life is too short to not eat chocolate!

  3. dessawade

    Funny post Whitney!

  4. Julie

    Gotta think of new goals… Reached most of mine already. Now I’m thinking of things like playing the piano in front of an audience… or writing a book. Can’t decide which I’d like to do most. Updating goals keeps me from getting bored. Boredom leads to craunchitis.

  5. My only real bucket list item was going to Hawaii. We got the tickets!!! I was pretty dark excited! Still deciding where to stay (we’re going to the big island). And thinking I better stick pretty good to my mfp goals. Flab doesn’t look so good in a swimsuit!!!

    I’ve been in a bit of a bad mood too, mostly tired and overwhelmed if you know what I mean! Deadlines with my work – and competition. I hate competition. I like being good at what I’m good at, but I hate being compared to others. I think that’s why I sometimes suck at racquetball – it can get a bit competitive – and when it does, I typically lose just so the other person doesn’t have to. Pretty sad, huh? Oh well, it’s been helping me slim down and work out some of my frustrations! I just have to remember to look at it as a fun work out – NOT a competition.

    I hope you get out of your funk soon Whitney! Keep writing, it always makes me smile! 🙂

    • Taralee… how exciting that you are going to Hawaii!! I’ll be super jealous but maybe you can bring some of that Hawaiian weather back to get me through the winter months coming up!

      I am soooo with you on competition and letting others win. I’ve always been that way too… it just seems easier for us to take the losing than someone else. Weird, right!? I am not sure what you do for your job? It sounds like you are creative in it, though and that it is stressful! Hang in… think Hawaiian thoughts!

      • I’d love to bring back some nice weather for you! For me too! Our trip would be better planned in January or February when I’m so sick of the dreary winter – but alas, the rates are better this time of year. Hey, I’ll enjoy it anytime, right?

        As for my work – I’m a crocheter of all things 🙂 I love to crochet, but we came up with this thing called a beard beanie – ended up filing a patent application – are now waiting for those government people to get around to looking at it whilst the whole world is copying and competing. My funny little hobby turned into a much bigger deal than I ever planned for. Anywho, you can check out my original site on etsy, http://www.etsy.com/shop/taraduff?ref=si_shop which even has a few things besides the beard beanies, or also at http://www.beardbeanie.com/ . So if you need something crocheted, or even knitted, I can definitely hook you up! 🙂

    • How clever is that invention!!? Totes funny and useful too for those dagnabbed cold winter days… blugh… just around the corner! So, do you have to hand crochet all of the orders you get? That’s a lot of work, but I can see why it totes took off. Brilliance, Taralee!

      ONe of these days I’m going to learn me how to crochet well… I know the basics, but I’m afraid I’m all fumble fingered. I cross stitch because it requires less brain use!

  6. I love that you have a bad mood theme song! I think I might adopt it too. Oh, and you totally have my vote for the Presidency!
    By the way, you’re totes hilarious (you’re vocabulary is rubbing off on me 🙂

    • The rule for adopting my bad mood theme song is that you have to sing it at the top of your lungs in traffic… just so you get all sorts of stares! I learned the hilariousness from my pal, Alena!

  7. Louisa

    Question of the Day: How are you coming along with your bucket list items? What do you do when you get that stagnitis feeling?

    I was doing great with my bucket list items all spring and most of this summer. I stayed on a walk regimen and lost some lbs.
    I coached my daughter’s sand vball team ( since the coach came down with every ailment known to man ) and would consider doing it again.
    Lost more lbs.

    When my Mom called to tell me they ( her and Dad ) needed help and that his health was in decline, the kids & I dropped everything to be here for them.
    Six wks later, Dad has passed and we have laid him to rest.
    It is time for my Mom to learn how to be on her own ( she is almost 80 yrs old ) and time for me to get back on track.
    We are both still sleep deprived and off a normal schedule but we are adjusting.
    I have started walking 2 miles each morning and it feels good and I haven’t been sore at all.
    I am starting to sleep better also. Thank you Lord.
    My daughter and I are still scheduled to walk in the 5K later this month.
    I would like to finish that and feel that we will do well.

    I am seriously thinking about walking the 2 miles one-way each morning and then jog / walk the return route another 2 miles to shave off some of the lbs. I have gained while being here. This would also help my 5K training considerably as well.

    The only other bucket list item I still have is the kayaking lessons for next summer and being on maintenance with my weight.

    It might do me some good to think of another interim goal. It can get to be a long stretch between the end of Sept – mid summer without a goal.
    I am pleased that I have achieved as much as I have thus far.

    I will give it some thought.
    Thanks Whitney.

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