You know meeses… them big ugly things, some with big ugly antlers, some with not-so-much big ugly antlers who hang around in the wilderness and charge at people who come too close to them. THOSE! Wait a minute… I think I may have gotten all confuzzled with the English language. If you’re going to call 2 gooses, geese… you need to call 2 mooses meese. Laws, these language inventors anyway. I might as well switch out Webster’s with Whitney’s Dictionary of Made Up Words… would totes make more sense… and I’d have conformity amongst the plurals!
Back to my meese (yes, I’m calling them that… take that Merriam Webster!). This past Mondee, a friend and I took another jaunt up to Tony Grove to walk around the lake and bask in the frigidness of the mountains… plus I totally wanted to see if those 2 skinny dippers were still there. Who skinny dips in the middle of the day!? Get a pair of pants, would ya’? So, we were searching for skinny dippers (I just thought of something… say, I got a concussion and decided it was a brilliant idear for me to swim in a lake in my birthday trousers… that goosebump on my noggin would have to be PRETTY frigging large… would they call my version the fatty dip? I’m totes seriously curious… I ain’t skinny… but I am a dip…), when all of a sudden I look up to see 2 meese (a momma and a baby) approximately 20 feet away… of course I scream like a little girly girl, which in turn scares the frig out of momma and baby who take off like it’s all-you-can-eat lunch buffet at the NutriSystem Convention… before I even have a chance to get my camera out… pose for pictures angry momma… seriously now. That’s no way to treat your guests.
Oh, but I’m determined… even though I know for a fact meese do not like to be approached… especially with a baby in tow. You know the Big Bad Wolf in that 3 Little Pigs tale? The wolf was actually based on a meese. Okay, so that was totally a lie… but how many people believed me? Raise your hands. Meese attack when they feel threatened and I’m sure me and my 90-dollar camera were threatening with a capital T! We hike through the woods a little further and run right back into momma and baby meese… eating a person!!!!! What did you say!? Meese are herbivores? Not these meese! Okay, so that was another lie. They weren’t eating a person, they were eating some vegetation… sue me, I’m totally trying to spice up this story for y’all! I cursed the heavens for my lack of cajones and 90-dollar zoomless lens camera. Instead of getting an amazeballs picture of meese all cuddling with her young fry, I got this:
Do not even tell me you can’t see my meese! No, that is not a horse, of course! We watched our step the rest of the trail, but when we were driving down the mountain, we ran into 2 HUGE Meese with big ole ugly antlers. Of course, I didn’t get any pictures of them since they seemed to be more interested in running in the opposite direction of the huge machine we were driving down the mountainside. Somehow meese are approximately 34 times smarter than, say, a cow.
See that blackish spot underneath the tree… that’s totally my meese butt! I got a picture of a meese butt! Forget the antlers, this baby’s gonna make it into National Geographic. I would have ventured down the mountainside further, but the car door only opens so far and I was using that as my shield. Next time I head up, remind me to wear my suit of armour. Totally meese hunting gear right there!
Question of the Day: What was your most exciting animal encounter? Have a GRAND weekend, my friends!