The Day I Nearly Got Eaten By Meeses!!

You know meeses… them big ugly things, some with big ugly antlers, some with not-so-much big ugly antlers who hang around in the wilderness and charge at people who come too close to them.  THOSE!  Wait a minute… I think I may have gotten all confuzzled with the English language.  If you’re going to call 2 gooses, geese… you need to call 2 mooses meese.  Laws, these language inventors anyway.  I might as well switch out Webster’s with Whitney’s Dictionary of Made Up Words… would totes make more sense… and I’d have conformity amongst the plurals!

Back to my meese (yes, I’m calling them that… take that Merriam Webster!).  This past Mondee, a friend and I took another jaunt up to Tony Grove to walk around the lake and bask in the frigidness of the mountains… plus I totally wanted to see if those 2 skinny dippers were still there.  Who skinny dips in the middle of the day!?  Get a pair of pants, would ya’?  So, we were searching for skinny dippers (I just thought of something… say, I got a concussion and decided it was a brilliant idear for me to swim in a lake in my birthday trousers… that goosebump on my noggin would have to be PRETTY frigging large… would they call my version the fatty dip?  I’m totes seriously curious… I ain’t skinny… but I am a dip…), when all of a sudden I look up to see 2 meese (a momma and a baby) approximately 20 feet away… of course I scream like a little girly girl, which in turn scares the frig out of momma and baby who take off like it’s all-you-can-eat lunch buffet at the NutriSystem Convention… before I even have a chance to get my camera out… pose for pictures angry momma… seriously now.  That’s no way to treat your guests.

Oh, but I’m determined… even though I know for a fact meese do not like to be approached… especially with a baby in tow.  You know the Big Bad Wolf in that 3 Little Pigs tale?  The wolf was actually based on a meese.  Okay, so that was totally a lie… but how many people believed me?  Raise your hands.  Meese attack when they feel threatened and I’m sure me and my 90-dollar camera were threatening with a capital T!  We hike through the woods a little further and run right back into momma and baby meese… eating a person!!!!!  What did you say!?  Meese are herbivores?  Not these meese!  Okay, so that was another lie.  They weren’t eating a person, they were eating some vegetation… sue me, I’m totally trying to spice up this story for y’all!  I cursed the heavens for my lack of cajones and 90-dollar zoomless lens camera.  Instead of getting an amazeballs picture of meese all cuddling with her young fry, I got this:

Do not even tell me you can’t see my meese!  No, that is not a horse, of course!  We watched our step the rest of the trail, but when we were driving down the mountain, we ran into 2 HUGE Meese with big ole ugly antlers.  Of course, I didn’t get any pictures of them since they seemed to be more interested in running in the opposite direction of the huge machine we were driving down the mountainside.  Somehow meese are approximately 34 times smarter than, say, a cow.

See that blackish spot underneath the tree… that’s totally my meese butt!  I got a picture of a meese butt!  Forget the antlers, this baby’s gonna make it into National Geographic.  I would have ventured down the mountainside further, but the car door only opens so far and I was using that as my shield.  Next time I head up, remind me to wear my suit of armour.  Totally meese hunting gear right there!

Question of the Day:  What was your most exciting animal encounter?  Have a GRAND weekend, my friends!



Filed under Getting A Life

7 responses to “The Day I Nearly Got Eaten By Meeses!!

  1. Liz

    I love meese! However, you are correct that they will attack when tickled. Just yesterday my co-worker had to use bear spray on a charging moose. In the moose’s defense, said co-worker had a big bow and arrow in his hand which would upset any antlered giant. I think it was a draw. Glad to see you are getting out and enjoying nature!

  2. Amy

    I totally knew that was Tony Grove in yesterday’s pic. Gimme another one! Not so many odd animal encounters unless you count the skunk who thought he was gonna take up residency in my back yard landscaping boulders back at home. My dog thought the lil guy was a fancy lookin cat so she lifted her pinky n tried to have tea n crumpets till the lil guy let out a socially inappropriate stinkum. Malia wasn’t super amused and looked both hurt that her fancy buddy stunk so bad and disturbed that everywhere she ran, she had no power to outrun the stench. Well, I bathed her in a quick recipe of Dawn n rubbing alcohol (in the roomies
    tub of course) and we were in biz to be sprayed
    again 2 days later. We got the animal catcher to
    come book the feller in critter jail as being that stinky is cruel and unusual even if ya are cute.
    The dog catcher was more afraid of him than I
    was n after an hour or so of poking with long loop n pole the dude gave up leaving me with stinkle-toes.
    I totally love the Whitney Webster dictionary. Kids would be naughty on purpose if sentenced to copy pages outta that masterpiece. Just last night I introduced Steve (as he was wondering what the heck I was cracking up over while reading some of your posts- gonna have to read him your adventures in mousing post) to some of my faves: craptastic, amazeballs, etc. I’ll have
    to pass on “scared the frig out of…” lol. I could
    remember these fancier sentence enhancers if
    my brain weren’t so full of the less socially
    appropriate adjectives.
    Keep writing, photographing, swimming. Thanks for the inspirational MFP friend’sstory the other day. My scale, jeans, n mirror reflection are telling me I need to make friends w MFP here real soon. I feel like I’m losing more control on that front so any direction or inspiration is sure appreciated 🙂

  3. Jen

    What a funny story. I am sure once you take your photography class, you will be better able to capture the pictures of the “meese.” As for the skinny dippers, I can’t believe someone would think that was a good idea in the middle of the day either! If I was gonna do that, I would at least wait till it got dark 😉

  4. Dorothy Dingman

    Had to laugh about the “skinny Dip” episode. Ray and I have decided that if we were to ever go, it would be a “chunky dunk”….just saying!

  5. Am I the only one that was raising my hand? 🙂

  6. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomOfTwo

    Funny post, Whitney.

    Question of the Day: What was your most exciting animal encounter?

    We don’t have any moose or elk here in MO. I think they are strangely exciting.
    I haven’t seen them since I was a kid when we went to Colorado.
    Oh and big horn sheep too. That was neat b/c in CO, the sheep control the hwys and traffic has to stop for them apparently.

    In the past 2 months that I have been staying at my parent’s house ( helping out my parent’s in my Dad’s last few wks of life ) I have trapped and disposed of 19 critters. Nine of those critters were skunks. The rest were raccoon and opossum.

    Bow hunting has started here for the deer population in our pasture. That is good news and should thin out the small herd living out in the horse pasture.

    Armadillos ( are a cousin to the opossum ) and are making their way into our area. Strange to see them dead along the hwy now and then. Used to be we would only see them when we went south to the Ozards by the MO and Arkansas border.


  7. I have wanted to see meese in the wild for about forever and never have! It’s something on my bucket list. Maybe I should venture up to Tony Grove and see if I can see your buddies. Craziest wildlife encounter . . . probably the turkey who flipped out and wouldn’t let me drive past him in California. It was a psycho bugger.

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