Donuts Are Vegetables Now… Hear Me Out!!!

Dead serious… DEAD!  We fried her up in a vat of VEGETABLE oil, which would totes constitute a vegetable.  Hello… it’s in the dagnabbed name… the oil from a vegetable!!!  Of course, I’m totally joking… just trying to help Congress out after they came out embarrassing themselves whilst swearing up and down that frozen pizza counted as a vegetable due to the tomato paste.  They also consider french fries a vegetable because they’re potatoes.  Heck yes!!!  That just proves all those years of consuming vast amounts of fried frenches and pizza like it was going out of style was the healthiest decision of my frig frammed lifetime!  It’s kind of like saying, you went to the Bahamas and all I got was this T-shirt… except it’s more like, I ate my weight in vegetables and all I got was this prescription for a heart attack.  I’m not saying there’s a thing wrong with eating either of these things… in moderation, but constituting them as a vegetable to kids who don’t know any better!?  PREPOSTEROUS!!   Oh yeah… that was me yelling in all caps… you best believe it’s true.  Let’s call a duck a duck… if it quacks, it’s a duck.  If it doesn’t grow out of the ground… IT AIN’T A VEGETABLE!!!  It’s quite ironic they’re naming it a vegetable because of the tomato paste anyway… especially considering that it’s always been argued whether a tomato is actually a vegetable or a fruit because it has seeds.  I’m crossing my fingers for when they come out that Skittles are actually fruit!  Pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease!!!!!!!!

Back to my list:

Plan your food diary a week in advance and try to stick with it. 

I’ve done this before and I aim to do it again, but NEXT WEEK when I have more control over my food and recipes.  Thanksgiving week is a bad time to try to plan around, but I will guarantee you that I will eat my fruit/vegetables when I eat my round piece of pumpkin pie.  JOKES on the round part… not the actual eating of the pumpkiny pie.  This whole holiday season crapola is a tricky thing to master, and I’m not feeling totally confident that it will be mastered since I’ve yet to get a handle on my regularly scheduled eating like a bird mission ever since I got back from vacation.  Stupid vacation… and I’d also like to blame it some on Daylight Savings Time and the fact that it’s now dark by 5:00…   Let’s see… what else can I blame it on… hormoney hoarding, Halloween, my birthday, zit breakouts, the NBA idiots who want more money, Wheel of Fortune, Pat Sajack, Superman, and just because he needs more scandal… Herman Cain.  Pshaw… y’all can see what I’ve had to deal with over the last month or so.

Have a day to eat what you feel like without feeling guilty.

LOL!!  That’s my main problem of late… I have too many of those days.  I seem to do beautifully Monday through Thursday, and then Friday, Saturday, and Sunday roll along and it’s like numbdumb eating all over the Buffet o’ Congress!  I’m ashamed to say I did not get my pizza vegetable in on any weekend.  Pass that Bill and call it Sally!  While I regain focus and work out a plan to master this elusive holiday eating spree, y’all get up your lists for Black Friday… 4 more days… what are you waiting for?  Don’t call me at 5:00 in the morning… I’ll be dreaming about donuts and pizza…

Question of the Day:  Do you ever have a day where you eat anything you want and not feel bad about it? 

My weekend included a lot of this:

Like, over a foot of that when all was said and done.  I swear there were mountains there in the background at one point… they might be lost until July.  Buckle in folks, we be in for a long winter’s nap!  How do I turn into a bear so I can hibernate?



Filed under The List

13 responses to “Donuts Are Vegetables Now… Hear Me Out!!!

  1. Avster

    Whitney! You hogged all the snow again! 😦

  2. Amy

    Spudnut! Spud= potato= vegetable. Nut= well, high protein (healthy) nut. See? It’s in the name and doubly veggie as it is cooked in veggie oil. Finally, we have a breakthrough… a picture I’m not green with envy over. Thank you 🙂

    • Bwahahaha… that’s even better. Now you totes have healthy protein and fats from the nut WITH your vegetable… that’s pretty much a well-rounded meal right there! The snow is awaiting your visit, Amy!

  3. dessawade

    No, I don’t have a day when I eat anything I want and not feel bad about it. I ALWAYS beat myself up when I do that but that doesn’t stop me. I usually do pretty well Monday thru Thursday but weekends are pretty hard.

  4. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomOfTwo

    Question of the Day: Do you ever have a day where you eat anything you want and not feel bad about it?

    I started this wt loss journey in March. I will admit that early on I did have moments when I splurged. Usually a dinner out someplace.
    I just didn’t like the feeling afterward.
    The feeling of guilt b/c there were good choices I could have made but didn’t.
    That over-full feeling that just makes me feel miserable.
    The disappointment in myself.
    The feeling like I just negated all my hard workouts that week and prolonged my goal…
    As part of my journey, I have had to make some changes physically as well as mentally so I don’t keep doing the above behavior and getting the above results.
    Now when I am out to dinner or a potluck or buffet situation, I allow myself a tablespoon of each thing that looks good to me.
    I choose more vegetables & fruits & proteins.
    Less pasta, bread, and sweets.
    I allow myself a few bites of whatever dessert looks good to me but rarely a full serving. Usually share a dessert with my Dh or my kids…so that makes it easier.
    This plan works for me and it is my plan for the holidays as well as everyday of the year.

    Keep pushing forward…

  5. This has been my problem as of late…ugh allowing more and more and not knowing when to stop. Damn the holiday season!!!

  6. Jen

    That is a lot of snow! It really looks like Christmas at your house. If it is a special occasion, then I never feel guilty for overeating. I only feel sick to my stomach after. I wish I didn’t have a conscience so I could count pizza and french fries as vegetables too.

    • Congress is giving you permission to count them as veggies, Jen-Jen, so I say you are totes good doing it! 😛 I’m with you with the overeating… I always regret it afterwards… always!

  7. Oh goodie, I’m better at eating vegetables than I thought 🙂 I love your backyard picture–makes me a little homesick 🙂

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