Just a little update from yesterday’s post… Madre wanted me to mention that her new robe was not the pictured white lion/zebra print because she had changed her mind and decided to go for the brown giraffe print, which was equally as gag inducing… plus, I hear giraffe totally makes your neck look big. Not something I’d want with all the draculas and vampires roaming the earth these days. I’m looking at you, Pasty Edward!
Meanwhile, back in the gum drop forrest of the real humans… tonight I hung out at ShopKo and talked to a tree. She was such a sap… bwahahahahahaha… okay, Laffy Taffy I gots you another lamified joke for your wrappers! A couple of my friends and I (wut up, Karrie and Rachel) decided to forego gift giving to each other this year and put the money we would have spent on each other toward a little boy or girl on the Angel Tree. Righteous, gnarly dudes! Half the fun of it is being able to shop for a kid who wouldn’t get much for Christmas otherwise. Plus, I got to talk to trees and a sparkly poinsetta (right… I’m tucked away back in my padded room… get off the ledge, readers!)
We picked a 7-year-old girl mostly because we’re girls and we know what girls like… um… back in the 80s, I mean. Apparently, now-a-days kids have to play with all of these weird toys. I did not see one Fraggle Rock item! And my girl, Jem and The Holograms (she’s truly, truly, truly outrageous) did not have one Barbie Doll dedicated to her pink-haired highness! The girl we picked wanted something called a Monster High doll. Um.. WHAT!?!? Firstly, ain’t never heard of it. Secondly, the only monster I care to own is the Cookie Monster… and that’s only because he makes a mean oatmeal chocolate chip cookie.
Meet “Ghoula Yelps” who is literally DEAD TIRED! She also has a grey, pasty face, blue hair, and a friend named Draculaura who has fangs and a pink head. Oh my laws… what are these dolls!?!?!?!? Does Draculaura come with a blood drinking kit? Just wondering so I can cancel my next blood transfusion at Monster High. As my good pal, Jem and the Holograms would say… show’s over Synergy… DEFINITELY over!
We also picked her out a sensible pair of pants and a shirt and a pair of pajamas. I was mostly upset that the friends did not go along with my idea to go the Bieber Fever shirt route. He had a whole dagnabbed wall in the little girl’s section dedicated to clothing with his face on it. I tried to fit one over my gob of a head, but didn’t make it past my eyeball. New life goal: Fit into Bieber Fever shirt… be arrested by pedophile po-lice! All in all it was a fun time. I’m planning on going back again with the family to get another name… but until then… cross off Monster High from all of my wish lists… she gave me nightmares!
Question of the Day: What toy(s) do you remember most from your childhood?