Oh my gadfrey gurney in a box of lame-os (those are Oreos’ lamer cuzzin)! I’ve been hearing this new “Christmas” song (and I use that word lightly… this ain’t no Christmas song!) on the radio and on television and on my Michael Buble Christmas special (which ended up being semi cheesy when it wasn’t about the music… stick with the music, Buble!) Anywho, it’s by Bieber Fever who just so happens to have a WHOLE dagnabbed CD of “Christmas” songs… which I will not be buying because a.) I’m not 13 and 2.) I will not be contributing to Christmas songs that have the word “shorty” in them. Seriously now!?!?!? If I didn’t know what that word meant (a pet/slang name for a girlfriend), I’d think they were totes degrading short people… short people UNITE!!! Unfortunately, I’m not one of your people, shorties, but I would volunteer to smoosh anyone via sitting on them who harrasses the shorties of the world… Bieber Fever you’re first in line!!!! Samplings of the lyrics to this song:
I don’t wanna miss out on the holiday
But I can’t stop staring at your face
I should be playing in the winter snow
But Imma be under the mistletoe
With you, shawty, with you
With you, shawty, with you
With you, under the mistletoe
Excuse me whilst I vomit into my peddle pushers. I’m a traditionalist, through and through, so when someone writes a new, nonclassic Christmas song, it best be a dagnabbed good song… otherwise, I’m going to hate it and then I’ll make fun of it on my blog. I am seriously going to be dreaming about shawties tonight, aren’t I?
That said, there have been a handful of recently written, nonclassic Christmas songs that I’ve added to my must-listen-to-Christmas-song list… and that’s what this blog post is dedicated to today… yes, I’m cheating on the top 5 Christmas songs… but add these as top 5 plus a few more!
The first one is from the stylings of Harry Connick, Jr. Love me some Harry! It’s called It Must’ve Been Ole Santa Claus. Love it… it’s catchy and a cute story and catchy and fun and Harry! What more can you ask for in a new Christmas song!
Next is one of those bawl your way through a song songs… Oh… maybe that’s just for friendly woman hormone hoarding week. Madre and I sang this song in Relief Society on Sunday. Mary’s song and point of view… it’s full of such desparate want for comfort and help from above… “Breath of Heaven.” I love it!
And thirdly… this song isn’t a “new” song per se… it’s just a different arrangement of a very classic Christmas tune… and it ain’t Christmas until I’ve heard it at least once. Babs Streisand’s version of “Jingle Bells!”
There you go, Shawties… Bieber Fever… take a note from these folks next time… okay now!?
Question of the Day: What nontraditional Christmas songs are your favorites?