White Knuckling It Through Sardine Canyon…

That’s totes the name of a new Christmas song I’m going to write… based on a true story!  TRUE!  Well, actually it will be a compilation of many true stories that have happened throughout my lifetime.  The gist of these stories is all the same and they usually star the same 2 drivers… Madre and Lindsay.  You see, they overreact A LOT when it comes to driving through Sardine Canyon in the winter… A LOT!

As an example… this afternoon around 4:30ish Madre and I needed to drive to Brigham City to put on a dancing and gymnastics show at the local assisted living center (can y’all imagine me in a leotard!?!?!?!?!?  Oh laws… ixnay the leotard image… I’m convulsing!!!)  On a good day it would be about a 30- to 40-minute drive tops.  On a day where flurries are expected… more like a good 60 to 300 minutes at least!  It was barely flurrying snow… BARELY, yet we were only permitted to drive a maximum of 25 miles per hour in a 60-mph zone… and by permitted, I mean Madre would only drive that fast because there was nonexistant black ice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Oh NO!!!  WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!?!?!?

I swear to you this one dude on a rocking horse passed us right up… left us in the dust!  I knew I should’ve went with my gut instinct and rented that snowmobile!   When we finally arrived at our destination, Madre needed me to get the crowbar out of the trunk to pry her hands off of the steering wheel.  Y’all will be happy to know that I’m a certified crowbar yielder.  I can crowbar with the best of them.  I just thought the good people of Brigham City should know what I came through to sing them song Christmas tunes!   I’m like a pioneer, except with indoor bathrooms and toilet tissue!

***********

Back to my song fest…  I had a hard time narrowing it down to one today.  Sue me… I’m a liar and a cheat and Mommas… don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys!!  My folks grew me up on a handful of great voices… whenever I hear Andy Williams’ and his verion of It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, my heart smiles.  It does.  It totally smiles.  I am then flooded with so many wonderful childhood Christmas memories… waiting in anticipation for Santa Claus to arrive… trying to stay up into the wee hours of Christmas morning just so I could get a glimpse of the man in the red suit… I never could do it.  I swear to you… parents must drug their kids on Christmas Eve to insure they go to sleep.  You can tell me, all you readers who happen to be parents… your secret is safe here!   I also have the weirdest memories with this song.  Like the time I was given a whole Nativity set sculpted out of white chocolate from a lady in the neighborhood and I locked myself in my room that night and et the whole thing in one sitting… camels, lambs and all of the above!  My stomach hated me the next morning… but I couldn’t let anyone take the set away before I could eat it!  ISSUES!

The next song I just have to include is Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.  This song is beautiful to me… bittersweet and haunting and yet full of hope at the same time.  I prefer the original lyrics:

Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow…
Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow.

Which someone thought were too depressing, so had them changed to:

Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow…
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough

I still sing the song with the first set of lyrics… just to give it that emotional punch… as if it needed it.  PLus… I do enjoy punching people… in my head!  Settle down, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!

S0, from me and Karen C. to you… Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas Now!!!!

Question of the Day:  What are your tips for winter driving?  Madre needs some!


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18 Comments

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18 responses to “White Knuckling It Through Sardine Canyon…

  1. deannawade@gmail.com

    I learn something new everyday–I didn’t know the lyrics for that first song had been changed. Who knew reading a blog could make you smarter. Thanks Whit! And I’m with your mom–I hate driving when there is any snow or ice on the roads!! Then why or why do we live in Idaho and Utah???

  2. Julie

    Driving in the snow? The only tip I have is, don’t. The Carolina’s don’t get snow very often, so when we do… we stay home. We get some Northerners who are bold in thinking it’s nothing, but they are used to driving on those northern roads that are treated with a thin layer of salt for traction, and their bridges and overpasses have all been plowed… not ours. We have maybe two snow plows in the county, so there are only a few highways plowed. These southern roads are horrid when it snows… the snow partially melts in the sun and then freezes again at night, making it perfect conditions for ice dancing in the morning, but not driving. When I visit PA, I’m amazed at the ease in getting around after a night of snowfall. Everything is plowed and salted before you wake up.

    • That is what I hear on the news… those places who rarely get snow aren’t equipped for it so it’s a national emergency when a couple of inches falls. We always used to tease folks when we heard they got the day off from school for an inch of snow… when we’ve treaded through feet of snow to get to school!

  3. Natalie

    I spent 20 years (and my formative driving years) way up tucked under Lake Superior. It’s colder and more snow than Alaska! The brakes are the dangerous thing. Never break into a turn.

  4. cl2

    I think your mother is probably set in her ways–so no advice here. I’ve driven that canyon more times than I can count and in some of the very worst storms–when you have to watch the weeds on the side of the road to know you aren’t going off it with the wind howling through Dry Lake. Given I’m from Brigham and live in Cache Valley now–and my family lives over there–and that I used to work at Thiokol and lived in Cache Valley then. BUT I was driving home from CO the weekend before Thanksgiving and I had to actually stop for the first time in my life and get a hotel because of the snow. I’m headed to Brigham this morning. Just to scare your mother a little–I was forced off the road up by Sherwood Hills one year during a snow storm with my two little 3-year-olds (so years ago). The guy turned around and pulled me back on the road with his 4-wheel-drive pickup.

    • Guh… I’ve driven through Sardine several times during bad snowstorms and it seriously taxes on the ole nerves! So scary that you were forced off the road with your 2 little ones in the car, but how lucky that he turned around and helped you out.

  5. Avster

    Fast and furious does the trick in winter driving! Want to come for a visit during the winter be driven around the countryside by your favorite chauffeur?

    Slow and easy wins the race and use the brakes sparingly!

  6. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomOfTwo

    Love the songs – thanks Whitney!
    The sunset pic is beautiful too!

    Question of the Day: What are your tips for winter driving? Madre needs some!

    I rarely get in my SUV when their is more than just slushy stuff on the roads.
    I usually send my Dh because he actually LIKES driving and horse-ing around in it.
    He goes out in his truck with his tow rope with the intention of finding stranded motorists and pulling them out. He is such a Good Samaritan!

    If I HAVE to go somewhere in the snow…then I leave plenty early, drive cautiously, give myself lots of room around other drivers, pack a box for the weather conditions
    ( blankets, extra warm clothes, jumper cables, a tow rope, high protein snacks that won’t freeze), and have tested my 4-wheel drive to make sure it works in case I need it.

    • How sweet of your husband to go do that. I’m sure folks appreciate it. I hate driving in snowy/icy conditions. It’s too taxing on the ole nerves. You can think you are being as careful as you can be, but you never know what the other driver’s are going to do! That’s the scariest part!

  7. My kids are already telling me I’m a bad winter driver. After our one decent snow storm this year, we were driving down a hill and I was growling and muttering about not being able to stop and missing my turn and my kids piped up to let me know, ” We wish Dad was here. He is a lot better at driving in the snow!” YES, I KNOW!

  8. jen

    I love that first song. It is so happy and brings in the Christmas spirit. Remember when we wandered in a blizzard to find that party Lindsay and Dessa were selling stuff at? That was scary winter driving

    • Oh my laws I remember that, Jen! How horrid was that. It was snowing like the dickens, the roads were super slippery, and we had no earthly clue where we were going in the dark!! Remind us to never Google map directions again!

  9. Liz

    Studded snow tires. Pump the brakes. Watch for other drivers.
    And tell her to go to an empty parking lot some wintery day, floor it and then just slam on the brakes. Good way to get a safe feeling for how to handle a sliding car. And it’s fun.

    • Good ole donut spinning! I gotta remember to do that sometime soon. I’m always too whimpy and think I’ll for sure flip my car or something. I think I must have gotten the family winter driving genes!

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