We have this weird annual tradition… something about gathering in the basement to watch the Miss America pageant like it be our favorite show in the universe! This could not be any further from the truth. The Miss America Pageant is not on my top 300 list of favorite shows yet I’m fascinated… FASCINATED! I’m mostly fascinated that grown women don’t mind parading around a stage mostly nekked and being judged on their bodies. The contestants say it’s all about their brains and they do win scholarships if they win, but then why would they need to parade around nearly nekked if the judges were judging their brain folds? Wouldn’t it be a cooler idear if the hosts of the pageant took out a hacksaw, sawed a hole in the top of each of the contestant’s head, scooped out their brain, and then made them parade around the stage wearing a paper bag over their head carrying their brains on full display on a plate? So, what you’re telling me is that I watched too many episodes of Dateline NBC over the weekend? I swear to you I have never seen that Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie… SWEAR to you!
So, anyway… we watched the contestants… Madre mostly just likes to see that there are other girls out there as tall as she is (5’10”)… and if they’re taller than she is, she makes sure to let everyone know via an announcement and text message for those not in the room! I think she feels a kinship to these tall, nearly nekked girls.
Speaking of… don’t get me started on the show on TLC, Toddlers and Tiaras!?!?!?!?!? Too late… Has anyone seen that show? Because seriously, I usually sit through an episode with my jaw done lying down on the carpet. There cannot be parents out there like this… and they cannot be allowed to ever own little people under the age of 21!!!!!!! I think the following mom done won Mother Most Likely to Get Her Kid Addicted to Drugs…
I read an article where she gave away the contents of the “Go Go Juice”…. Mountain Dew mixed with Red Bull… totes an appropriate 6-year-old child drink mixture. I hear when she’s 8, her mom will just let her hide a flask of Jack Daniels down in her shoe.
Back to Miss America… congratulations my Wisconsian friends… you now hold the title of Miss America until the above girl grows up and dethrones your non-GoGoJuice drinking butts! Yah, I predicted it… anyone want in on the bet?
Question of the Day: Have you seen Toddlers and Tiaras? What’s your view on pageants?