Four weeks into beginning knitting class and I’ve invented a new stitch… I like to call it the Whitney Obviously Does Not Follow Instructions stitch. We made dish cloths this past week… which was supposed to be the easy week and it was totes the easy week. I sped through my dishcloth like it weren’t no thing… but I kept noticing a weird ridge around the edges of my “decrease” rows (you knitting folks will totes know what I’m talking about… all others, go back to bed… professional knitters talking here!) I kept knitting to the end of the project, took it to class tonight and the instructor took one look at it and was all like… how in the world did you do that!?!?!?!?!?!?!? She could literally not figure out what I’d done. I honestly don’t know what I did either… I was absolutely sure I’d followed the instructions to a T… no one else’s dish rag looked like mine. I’ve obviously crossed the threshold into knitting savantness… you all are basking in the glow of an idiot… erm… I mean Genius!!!!!!! 😛
Meanwhile… the new project we started tonight was a “simple” hat… and we’re using a new type of needle method… the circular needles. Oooooo….. ahhhhhh…. D’OH! I’m knitting along on my fabulous circular needles… knitting and knitting and knitting… and I’m hating every second of these new needles. My knitting is tight and it’s tough to wield the needle under the tight stitches and then I keep noticing the yarn is getting tighter and tighter and smaller and smaller… but I keep going because I’m obviously a knitting genius… I made up a stitch for crying out loud!!!!!!! And then it hits me when I’m in the shower tonight inhaling my new Molten Chocolate body wash. The pattern instructions read to knit 2, purl 2, knit 2, purl 2… I read that as KNIT 2 stitches together, Purl 2 stitches together… so what I’ve been doing this entire time is halving the length of the circumference of my hat everytime I get to a new round… obviously I’m knitting a hat the size of a potato bug. No wonder it’s so dagnabbed hard… unless my head shrinks to potato bug status come next Tuesdee… I’m in a world of hurt. I guess I best undo the thing and start over. Someone needs to follow me around and translate these instructions into Knit-Whit languate… talk to me like I’m 4… I’ll totes understand that!!!
Question of the Day: Are you an instruction reader or do you prefer to figure it out by doing it?