The Craving A Life Blogscars: The Posts…

I had the most horrid nightmare in all the universe last night.  It was horrid.  I woke up in a jolt, sweating and hyperventilating.  On a scale of 1 to being locked in an elevator with Pee Wee Herman, it was a Pee Wee Herman PLUS a Talking Tom app horrid.  Oh lawsy smorgasboards… I may need real life dream therapy after this.  What happened in my nightmare?  I was in a Spam eating contest.  OH THE HORROR!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!DKEFL:SKMKMFS:LKMEN… and I was shoveling down the stuff like it were Sumo Wrestler night at the Upchuck-A-Rama… and the white mucousy stuff that they pack Spam in was oozing out the corners of my mouth and I was sore afraid.  I just can’t even… I just can’t.  Lock me up in the padded room now white coat fellers… it’s over for me.  What is Spam made out of anyway?  Mushed up kitty liver?

Oh laws… THE HORRORS!!!!!!

Moving on…

I always find it interesting to see which of these blog posts get the most hits… so, in honor of my 1-year blogiversary, I ventured to my stats page on this lovely WordPress blogging site to find out.  The most visited page was, of course, the home page, followed by the About Page (which I really should update after a year) and the top 5…

I Think I Can… No… I KNOW I Can :  In which I ramble incoherently about things like New Kids on The Block, climbing hills, and The Little Engine That Could… makes sense now… all them rabid NKOTB fanzz Googling their hearts out… oh… are we not in 1991 any more?

How Does The Caged Bird Sing? :  In which I blather on about peeing in pools, caged birds, and setting goals to accomplish.  Obvs people who don’t agree with pool peeing were on to this one… also birds… Googling about their ancestors.

The Attack of the Killer Hormones… and Flying Bird Updates… : In which I compare myself to the blueberry chick from Willy Wonka and then have a hormonal attack.  More bird Googlers… and maybe the PMSers of America support group.

Motivation Shmotivation… That Is the Question! :  In which I give up my carefully guarded motivational secrets which can be summed up in approximately 5 words and 3 exclamation marks… THERE IS NO DAGNABBED SECRET!!!

“Die”ting! : And to round out the top 5, we have my first ever blog post… in which I totally reveal the REAL definition of the word “die”t and then proceed to blather on for approximately 3 more paragraphs.  It’s a wonder I’m allowed to type at all… it really is.

So, to sum it up… I have a lot of bird blog readers… (no wonder they hate me) and people who have PMS… I’m not only a member… I’m the club president!  It just warms my heart to know that birds of a feather stick together… bah dum bum…  Peace out… I’m here all week…

Question of the Day:  What are your thoughts on Spam?  Vienna Sausage?  What is that mucus they have surrounding it? 

PS :  If you haven’t entered the giveaway yet… there is still time.. that fat lady ain’t sung yet… for serious!  Also, thank you all for the sweet comments… I promise I wasn’t fishing for anything of the sort, but y’all are just the kindest! 

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15 Comments

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15 responses to “The Craving A Life Blogscars: The Posts…

  1. Jen

    That is a horrid nightmare! I hate Spam too. I am not even sure what it is made out of. I commented on your blog yesterday but it didn’t save. What I said was I am a big fan of your writing, and look forward to getting your blog updates in my gmail inbox every morning. But since I am family, don’t worry about entering me in the drawing. I will keep reading everyday, no matter what!

  2. Avster

    Whit, that isn’t mucus… it’s pasteurized bird poo.

    I’ve had e-mail spam, but I don’t know if I’ve ever had food Spam. Vienna sausages are good once in a while. I don’t want to look at the ingredient labels.

    Oh, and going back to the word usage count… you’ve never used Avster and awesome in the same sentence. ~shakes head~ Also “How dumb is Whitney?” has appeared way to many times. Your readers are in complete agreement (well, except maybe the bird readers) that Whitney is not dumb.

    • Avster

      Oh, and as far as how long the counting took… I think I should have mentioned that the margin of error could be rather high….

    • :)) That explains why I dreamt about Spam… Bird brains everywhere hunting me down!! You must have missed the Avster Awesome sentences because you were too busy counting the invisible dumb Whitney passages. Seriously now…

  3. cl2

    I don’t know how I missed yesterday’s blog. A hangover? from driving from Colorado to Wyoming on Sunday? Don’t stop doing your blog. I look forward to it.

  4. Julie

    The idea of canned meat is very unappealing to me. The idea of eating the chopped up remnants of what Hormel couldn’t sell as ham, is just nasty. Vienna sausages? When my son was a baby, I thought it would be a safer option than regular meat, since it breaks apart… but I couldn’t stomach it. Watching him eat made me feel ill. Yuck!

  5. Deanna

    Hahaha!!! I have to agree. That is a terrible nightmare! Yeah, what IS in that stuff anyways?

    No, never stop writing. You have a real talent here!

  6. Um, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

  7. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomOfTwo

    Question of the Day: What are your thoughts on Spam? Vienna Sausage? What is that mucus they have surrounding it?

    I had to Google it! Sue me.
    Apparently SPAM has been around since the late 1930’s.
    Made by Hormel.
    Original name was Hormel Spiced Ham – which still does NOT sound appetizing to me.
    SPAM became known as SPAM for “Spiced Meat and Ham”.
    Many have joked SPAM stands for “Something Posing As Meat”,
    “Specially Processed Artificial Meat”, “Stuff, Pork and Ham”, “Spare Parts Animal Meat”, and “Special Product of Austin Minnesota”.

    For me, having never tried the stuff, SPAM will always be a Monty Python skit.

    As for Vienna Sausages I will never know what is the attraction but both my kids liked them when they were little. They looked too much like a mini hot dog in some jelly type stuff to me and thus I have never tried them. Pretty sure I would gag and who knows what else if I ever got them in my mouth. ICK ICK
    I hear they have them in a variety of flavors now…LIKE THAT WOULD HELP ( ick ick ick ).
    I don’t care for hot dogs as well so it must just be this type of thing that puts me off.

    • LOL!!! That was a funny Spam skit… I will never get why people like the stuff. EW! You are definitely not missing a thing by not having eaten it. I agree with your assessment of Vienna Sausage as well…the canned meat and jelliness puts me off forever and ever!

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