FYI: Top 5 Worst Souvenirs… As Rated By Me…

So, Madre and Lindsay went to Las Vegas last week.  I’m sure they had a grand ole time and all… yada yada yada.  And because she is such a sweet human mommy, Madre brought her dearest, eldest daughter back a souvenir.  Y’all won’t believe the generosity when I tell you what it was.  It’s UNBELIEVABLE in that department.  Was it a T-shirt?  A million dollars from the slot machine?  An autograph from a fake Elvis?  So many Vegasy possibilities!  Instead, Fridee I woke up to 3 sumo wrestler dudes wearing Sponge Bob slippers kicking me in the head and sitting on my chest.


Okay, fine… that was a total lie.  But it was almost as good.  She brought me back some germs and an illness.  LAWS ALMIGHTY, let me frame this sucker and call it Velda!  Madre, who rarely gets sick caught some sort of bug on her way home.  My best guess is from the recycled air dating back to 1935 in the airplane cabin and/or hotel bed bugs.  I felt bad for her when she got home because being sick sucks… and I told her that… from a distance of 30 feet and wearing a face mask… heck if I was going to catch it on my watch.  I got things to do and people to annoy.  The face mask/distance thing didn’t so much work… and I even read in a magazine yesterday that people who exercise at least 5 days a week (CHECK!!!!!!!) are 43% less likely to catch an illness… stupid 57%.

So, what did I do today?  I sat by the window looking out at a blue sky and melting snow and yelling to everyone who passed by walking or riding a bike… Gee… I wish I felt as good as you do!  I guess it really does humble you to get sick.  I appreciate so much more how great being well feels now that I don’t feel like doing anything but sit, hack up a lung, and try to blow my brains out my nose.  I am lucky in that department, now (KNOCK ON WOOD).  Back in the olden days I got sick a LOT.  I caught everything that was going around and I actually kind of welcomed the illness because at least then I had a good excuse for doing what I was going to be doing either way… sitting on my hindquarters.

Which other souvenirs round out my top 5 worst things to receive from Vegas?

5.  Sweat rag from fake Elvis

4.  Hotel sheets featuring bedbugs.

3.  Toe Jam from Fake Madonna.

2.  Anything from a showgirl.


FYI… next time y’all decide to bring a pal a vacation souvenir, they’ll just take one of those free soaps they give you at the hotel.   That should be plenty.

Question of the Day:  What kind of souvenirs do you buy on vacation?




Filed under Family

16 responses to “FYI: Top 5 Worst Souvenirs… As Rated By Me…

  1. jen

    I hope you feel better soon. Take lots of medicine in the meantime. I like to buy keychains as souvenirs.

  2. Mandy Schalk

    I hope you and your mom feel better soon!
    My Dad askes for newspapers, yes newspapers, from anywhere anyone goes….

  3. Julie

    😦 Sorry you don’t feel well. Hopefully it’ll pass soon. My mom always told me to flush it out with liquids. It can’t hurt anyway.

    Souvenirs- I like to buy a Christmas Ornament from each place we visit. That way each year as I decorate the tree, I’m reminded of all these places we’ve gone.

  4. Natalie

    I’m more of a magnet sort of person, not as much the germy kind. I hope it doesn’t last long! Maybe now that you are so healthy it’ll go away faster?

  5. Avster

    I’m not much of a souvenir buyer.

    “and try to blow my brains out my nose”
    I will be nice and refrain from commenting… ~looks innocent~

    Hope you’re feeling tons better now!

  6. cl2

    Make sure if you get Nyquil or the like–you buy it from behind the counter or it doesn’t do much good!

    Sorry you are ill!

    Souvenirs. I like hoody sweatshirts (for walking). I also get key chains and my daughter always brings me magnets. (She travels a lot.) She has decided to only get postcards from now on.

  7. Deanna

    Sorry to hear that you are not feeling well!

    I have a shot glass collection. I’m not a drinker, but I buy a shot glass from every new place that I travel too. For others, I stick with the touristy stuff. Anything that says the place where I traveled – t-shirts, novelties, postcards ect.

  8. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomOfTwo

    Ugh Whitney – that is awful you are so sick.

    I hate being sick. I am too busy to be sick. We miss out on a lot of good stuff when I am sick. I ( knock on wood ) haven’t been getting as sick since I have been eating healthier and exercising more. My kids are healthier too since we have all had to make the changes ( they are the ones walking, etc. with me ).
    I am trying to keep everyone healthy right now b/c I just found out my 10yo has the start of an ear infection, and upper respiratory infection, AND pink eye.
    Good Golly Miss Molly!!
    So, its really no wonder my hands are dry and cracked and itchy from all the cleaning, disinfecting, and (OCD) hand washing I have been doing.

    Question of the Day: What kind of souvenirs do you buy on vacation?
    I like to get t-shirts and cute junk like that for the kids wherever we go on vacation but my husband doesn’t like to spend the money on souvenirs.

    Lots of liquids ( water is best / ice chips / weak tea / weak broth / juice ( with Vit C )/ clear soda/ clear soda with sherbert in it also tastes good )
    Maybe someone close to you will bring you some homemade chicken soup.
    I would but I am too far away.
    Hot steamy showers also feel good and breathe in deep that moist air to help knock the cough.
    Make sure your humidifier is going 24/7 too.
    Get better soon, my sweet!!

    • Oh man… your poor son! 😦 Tell him to take care! I hear you with the dry and cracked hands. I have the same issue.

      Thanks for the tips, Louisa. I think I’d like to live in a hot shower… it really does take a lot of pressure off of my sinuses. I feel human in there… and then I have to get out!

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