Angel Food My Rear Receptacle!

First things first because I’m still laughing about it… which is cool because it could have gone a different way and I would have ended up as a vegetarian vegetable.  This evening I went to the Health Department to get my brain fixed Tdap shot… you know Tetanus,  Diphtheria and Pertussis combined all into one tiny vaccine.  Whooping cough is NOT in my future… neither is dying of a rusted nail in my plantars.  Let me preface this by saying, the nurse was possibly the sweetest lady on the planet… she was a sweet lady…  But when I went into the room to get my shot, she shot my arm and then was like… um oops… I just gave you the wrong shot!  I’m all like… hahahahahaha… are you serious!? … and she’s all like… as a heart attack… and then I’m all like… that’s fine… I have Judge Judy’s phone number on my speed dial… Okay, that was a lie.. What really happened was I just laughed some more and then rolled up my other sleeve so she could shoot me with the right vaccine.

Turns out I got me a free hepatitis A and B vaccine as well (the first one in a series of 3)… good news in case I ever decide to pick up and move to Haiti in the middle of the night.  I guess I’m grateful it was a legitimate vaccine and she didn’t decide to shoot me up with antifreeze or rat poison… you never know these days.

Meanwhile… back in the land of my cooking skillz.  I found a recipe in a magazine that I wanted to try… Angel Food Muffins with fruit… at only 73 calories per serving.  I plugged the recipe into MyFitnessPal and determined that it SHOULD make 12 muffins.

Oh lawsy gracious in a bag of oreos… not so much.  You know that episode of the TV show I Love Lucy where Lucy and Ethel are making bread and when they open the oven to get it out, it has grown 80000 times larger and has taken over the state of New York.  It was like that, except with Angels.  12 muffins my rear receptacle!!!  I ain’t dumb… I know that beating egg whites causes them to expand to preposterous heights… I just wasn’t prepared for them to take over the kitchen.  I seriously had to transfer bowls 3 times because it kept growing and growing.  I turned around one time for a few minutes to wash and slice some strawberries and the next thing I know, the batter is bubbling onto the floor like it’s obsessed by aliens.

One of these things is not like the other!  My 12 muffins turned into 24 muffins plus enough to mop the floor and/or feed the starving pygmy goats.  There are a couple of things I’d do differently if I were to ever make these again:

1.)  Hire the Keebler Elves and take a nap…
2.)  Ignore the package directions and spray the cupcake liners with Pam… most of my muffin was wrapper.
3.)  Make it in a standard-sized swimming pool with a rake to stir it.
4.) Add the fruit part after they’ve cooked… my blueberries/strawberries all pooled to the bottom and became one with the wrapper.

Other than that… the Devils were pretty tasty… I think I may have accidentally eaten a few wrappers, so maybe that was the tasty part.  Mmmmm… fiber!

Question of the Day:  What was your last kitchen disaster? 

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17 Comments

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17 responses to “Angel Food My Rear Receptacle!

  1. Hmmm I have had so many kitchen disasters over the years! Like the time I set my own gloves on fire….the many many frying pans of my Mother’s I have ruined and more recently putting too much salt in cookies due to a badly written recipe (see my blog!). I feel your pain!!! But I always say that disasters make us better cooks in the long run as you can learn so much!

  2. Natalie

    They look pretty edible to me! OMG about the wrong shot! Look into if you need 2 boosters and get the whole set of the mistaken one.

    • I think I can get the 2nd hep shot in a month… and then 5 months after that the 3rd shot, right? I wasn’t planning on it… but I guess I’m a third of the way there now.

  3. Avster

    Kitchen disaster? Me! Never! I’m insulted!

    Ooh! Glad you’re keeping up on your hepatitis shots! That’s pretty important stuff!

    I’ve never made angel food cake, but I have heard that you know your egg whites are stiff enough when you can flip the mixing bowl upside down and nothing falls out. I recommend holding the flipped bowl over someone’s head.

  4. Deanna

    Ah yes! Disasters equating to food on the floor, not lately. Just last weekend I tried two different recipes that ended up in the garbage though. This happens when we try to do desserts “light”. They just aren’t intended to be such! HA! My first was a Peanut Butter Yogurt Pie. Delicious in theory. Not so much in reality. Chobani Vanilla yogurt mixed with peanut butter poured into a chocolate graham cracker crust topped with a few chopped Reese’s PB Cups. Yeah, well if you eat the crust and the few sprinkled cookies on top it’s delicious. Otherwise, it tasted terrible. It could be the fact that I didn’t use creamy PB. I tried to use PB2 instead to save on the fat content. Mistake.

    This recipe that you tried though. It has potential! Try it again! 🙂

  5. cl2

    I can’t think of one off the top of my head–but I always burn grilled cheese–ALWAYS. I get distracted. My kids just plan on it happening. My first “cheese black olive, and tomato sandwich” always goes directly into the garbage”–I put the recipe on here sometime back. If you haven’t tried it–I’d advise it. Use sliced cheese for the different flavor. I have yet had one person who didn’t like them. Makes me want one right now.

    Another thing I do is leave the faucet running. Luckily my sink will overflow into each other.

    So–how did they taste? That is the big question!! Angel food. Love angel food. My mother used to make them all the time.

    • I need to make that sandwich… was it just olives and tomatoes with cheese on bread and then toasted in a pan?

      LOL on leaving your faucet running! At least you have a backup sink, I guess!

  6. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomOfTwo

    Question of the Day: What was your last kitchen disaster?

    Let’s see…
    I guess it was two weekends ago since I have been dealing with a sick kid, a pulled back, and my own sickies ever since that time.

    I wanted to make some of the 2 ingredient pumpkin muffins and all I had in the pantry was a chocolate chip muffin mix. Thought – “eh, same thing as a cake mix”.
    Not so much.
    I added the pumpkin and the applesauce and it looked good. Smelled good.
    I baked them and they came out real heavy / dense and tasteless.
    The kids tried them – they are good sports.
    They ended up in the trash.
    FAILURE!
    LOL – ah well. Time to get some more Spice Cake Mix for the pantry.

    • Oh bummer!! Don’t you hate when you go to all that work and then they have to be thrown out!? I guess at least you’ll know next time not to use that kind of cake mix! 😛

  7. Natalie

    Every time I make coffee it dribbles out somewhere in the coffeemaker and into a drawer. True story.

  8. Jena

    They look yummy to me! That’s good idea for a low calorie treat!

  9. Your muffins remind me of the first time I made lentils. They kept growing and growing and I ended up with my two biggest pots full of them and thinking I better invite a small country over for dinner, Your muffins look yummy and the exciting thing about the recipe is you got to eat twice as much for the same number of calories 🙂

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