First things first because I’m still laughing about it… which is cool because it could have gone a different way and I would have ended up as a vegetarian vegetable. This evening I went to the Health Department to get my
brain fixed Tdap shot… you know Tetanus, Diphtheria and Pertussis combined all into one tiny vaccine. Whooping cough is NOT in my future… neither is dying of a rusted nail in my plantars. Let me preface this by saying, the nurse was possibly the sweetest lady on the planet… she was a sweet lady… But when I went into the room to get my shot, she shot my arm and then was like… um oops… I just gave you the wrong shot! I’m all like… hahahahahaha… are you serious!? … and she’s all like… as a heart attack… and then I’m all like… that’s fine… I have Judge Judy’s phone number on my speed dial… Okay, that was a lie.. What really happened was I just laughed some more and then rolled up my other sleeve so she could shoot me with the right vaccine.
Turns out I got me a free hepatitis A and B vaccine as well (the first one in a series of 3)… good news in case I ever decide to pick up and move to Haiti in the middle of the night. I guess I’m grateful it was a legitimate vaccine and she didn’t decide to shoot me up with antifreeze or rat poison… you never know these days.
Meanwhile… back in the land of my cooking skillz. I found a recipe in a magazine that I wanted to try… Angel Food Muffins with fruit… at only 73 calories per serving. I plugged the recipe into MyFitnessPal and determined that it SHOULD make 12 muffins.
Oh lawsy gracious in a bag of oreos… not so much. You know that episode of the TV show I Love Lucy where Lucy and Ethel are making bread and when they open the oven to get it out, it has grown 80000 times larger and has taken over the state of New York. It was like that, except with Angels. 12 muffins my rear receptacle!!! I ain’t dumb… I know that beating egg whites causes them to expand to preposterous heights… I just wasn’t prepared for them to take over the kitchen. I seriously had to transfer bowls 3 times because it kept growing and growing. I turned around one time for a few minutes to wash and slice some strawberries and the next thing I know, the batter is bubbling onto the floor like it’s obsessed by aliens.
One of these things is not like the other! My 12 muffins turned into 24 muffins plus enough to mop the floor and/or feed the starving pygmy goats. There are a couple of things I’d do differently if I were to ever make these again:
1.) Hire the Keebler Elves and take a nap…
2.) Ignore the package directions and spray the cupcake liners with Pam… most of my muffin was wrapper.
3.) Make it in a standard-sized swimming pool with a rake to stir it.
4.) Add the fruit part after they’ve cooked… my blueberries/strawberries all pooled to the bottom and became one with the wrapper.
Other than that… the Devils were pretty tasty… I think I may have accidentally eaten a few wrappers, so maybe that was the tasty part. Mmmmm… fiber!
Question of the Day: What was your last kitchen disaster?