It turns out I’m still wearing the exact same pants I did nearly 240 pounds ago… EXACT same.  No joking around.  I have about 8 bajillion pairs of the same exact black, stretchy, elastic waist pants.  Dead serious.  They’re the same size I wore when I weighed 530 pounds.  Part of it has to do with the fact that they come with built-in elastic… there’s a LOT of give in elastic… you can wear them at pretty much any size and save moola in the process.  The other part of it is I have this really annoying bane of my existence apron extension that seems to require mucho camoflaugization… and if I wear a tighter pair of pants, I might as well just tape a fluorescent pink sign on my bane that says… LOOK AT ME… I”M GROTESQUE AND ANNOYING… and I GET JIGGY WIT IT WHEN SHE MOVES.  That was totally a disgusting description, but it’s the truth… and now I’m going to have 8 bajillion blog readers discretely trying to check out my stretchy pants/bane next time they see me in public.  Look away from the apron… I ain’t afraid to call the bane police!

Now it’s just getting ridonculous.  I have a hard time keeping the suckers up even with the built-in elastic and I usually end up pulling them up to my neck region just to give them enough time to inch their way down throughout the day.  Thankfully, they’ve never inched all the way down to my ankles in public.  I usually have a good grasp on how to pull the suckers up when they hit mid bane.  I’ve even resorted to safety pins and wearing tight undershirts just to give them something to hold themselves up with.  I think it’s time I find me a new pair of elastic-waisted black pant uniforms.  Durrrr… you think?

Last week I tried on a bunch of pants at the store… my least, least, LEAST favorite thing in this entire universe to do… LEAST… 2nd would be kidney stones… and 3rd would be getting beat up by Bieber Fever.  Of course, all the ones I tried were elastic waist and stretchy… but just for kicks and giggles, I also threw in a pair of jeans just to see how far up my thighs I could get the suckers.

I’m trying to remember the last time I wore jeans.  Jeans with an elastic band waist do NOT count… I’m talking jeans with no elastic whatsoever in any form on any orifice.  Just plain jeans.  I’m still thinking on how long it’s been… wait for it… I couldn’t tell you it’s been that long.  It had to have at least been 14 or 15?  Maybe?  I sat in the dressing room with a big ole silly grin on my face after I pulled on those nonelastic waist pants, buttoned, and zipped with no problem at all.  Of course, there was no way in Richard Simmons’ fanny pack I would have ever worn them in public… we’re talking about jumbo muffin top AND flashing neon arrows pointing to my bane.  Just the fact that they fit me was good enough for me.  Last year I tried on a pair just for fun and I couldn’t even get them on… even if weight isn’t being lost as fast… inches are coming off in some places… and that lights a fire under the rear for me to want to keep on moving forward… as if I had a choice anyway!

Question of the Day:  Do you have a favorite pair of jeans?  What brand is your favorite? 


Filed under Nonscale Victories

17 responses to “Jean-Tastic…

  1. Natalie

    You got pants on AND ZIPPED! Dang! I can’t believe you didn’t buy them! I would have! Just out of excitement! Maybe what you need to find is one of them girdle-y things. Then the pants. I hate all forms of shopping. Unless it’s donut shopping. But, hey now, seriously! You lost this much inches and pounds you need to retire those black stretchy pants from over a hundred pounds ago. Even if it’s for a new stretchy pair that’s not black and that flappy. I waited until mine couldn’t be kept up, both for cost and for hatred of shopping. But once I got a new pair that fit right it was the best thing ever! It really did click something in my brain when I wore the new clothes. Taking pictures of the clothes was another brain click. (did you take a dressing room photo for your brain gallery??? Should!!!) At what point do you consider the surgery for the skin? Because at some point you are going to fit in them (maybe even now) if it weren’t for the skin. I have another friend that was ready, but the cost stopped him. He hadn’t got insurance behind him.

    • I should have taken a dressing room photo, but of course I hate photos of that section… next time it will happen!

      As for the skin surgery, my doctor says I should wait until around 250… 40ish more pounds to go. It definitely needs to be done even if it does scare me! Spanx don’t really make much difference on the sucker… not to mention they are totally uncomfortable!

  2. Natalie

    Kate + 8 had some sort of band thing that she velcro’d around herself after 8 kids.

  3. Avster

    You know how one often has random thoughts before falling asleep? Well… my last one was about plateaus… and how they tend to be kind of high with steep drop offs… and my thought as I drifted off to sleep was, “Boy, I hope no one pushes Whitney off her plateau. A sudden drop like that wouldn’t be very healthy. She’d better gracefully descend.”

    • Look at that Avster… having prophesies in her sleep! I like that plateau reference… and it’s true. I’ve lost a couple of pounds in the last few weeks… it’s just slower than 2 pounds a week!

  4. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomOfTwo

    Another stunning pic!

    Congrats on the wearing of the jean ( see what I did there with the whole St. Patricks Day ‘wearing of the green’ thing ) !! {lol}

    I think it is time to let the too big stretchy pants go and get some that fit to keep you motivated and so that they won’t fall down in public.
    You have done an amazing job losing all that weight and you deserve some pants that fit. They don’t have to be jeans. They could be stretchy pants in a couple different colors so you can mix and match and have some fun.
    I think if I were you though, I would keep one pair tucked away for that final AFTER pic.

    I have been getting into more 16 size jeans and bought a pair at a rummage sale just this week for 50cents. Love them and have worn them out to dinner with my Dh & kids once already.

    I have my size 14 jeans pinned on my closet door in anticipation….

    Question of the Day: Do you have a favorite pair of jeans? What brand is your favorite?

    My new ( to me ) 50 cent jeans from the rummage sale are my new favorites.
    They are called Natural Reflections – here is what they look like:

  5. cl2

    Beautiful picture.

    I just buy the Wal-mart jeans–oh, I guess Lee Riders. I buy all black, too, long– because my “bane” shows up too well in others. I got my bane from having twins and now the weight and it doesn’t matter how thin I get, it is still there. I did find some at ShopKo a few years ago that were blue jeans–and long–and I still wear them when they are fitting. I don’t dare try them on right now. I think I’m a little too big for them. One of them was cut all the way up tothe thigh last summer when I fell and did something to my thigh (I couldn’t walk on it afterwards) and got to be examined by the EMS. Anyway, I walk by those elastic-waisted jeans that I used to wear some years back and think about it now and then!!!

    I need to get with hit–get my health better taken care of–more than weight. We type up all these medical problems and it scares me. I refuse to ever have bypass surgery (my dad had it).

    My daughter has been doing Zumba–didn’t you say something about it? She says it has really made her abdomen tight.

    If I can ever get into those 6 pairs of 16s I bought from C.J. Banks for $7 a pair, I’ll quit trying to lose anymore weight. I was close last summer . . .

    • I’m a black pants buyer as well… it’s totally the less jarring of the colors when you have “trouble” spots to hide. Goodness forbid I ever wear something red down there!

      Bypass surgery sounds like a surgery I don’t want to even think about having either. We’ll get past that one, Colleen!

      I have done ZUmba a few times… I’ll have to do it more regularly and pay attention to the abdominal muscles!

  6. Katie Berger

    Awesome, Whitney – – -the blog and trying on jeans!!
    Your description of the battle to keep your pants from sliding down tells exactly why I detest panty hose; but my old legs are ugly, so I still struggle with them at least once a week.
    Your Uncle Jim laughs about my favorite jeans. They are Levi 557’s – – -which they don’t make anymore. So, I get them on E-bay for about $10-15 a pair. (Yes, I assure him and you – – -I wash them several times before wearing them!)
    Yep! Nothing fits as well, so what the heck!
    Have an awesome day.

    • How rude that they aren’t making your favorite jeans anymore! I always say, if you find something that’s comfortable and looks good, why in the world would you want to switch it up!

      I”m glad you reassured Uncle Jim and myself that you wash them more than once… only a germ-a-phobe would take issue with that!!

      As for panty hose… SPAWN OF THE DEVIL!!!! I hate the suckers!

  7. You are fantastic!!! I love your description of trying to keep your pants out of a knot. You have come so far, you totally deserve a shopping spree for new bane covering apparel. Even though Shopping spree’s aren’t very exciting in the big girls section.

    I LOVE Old Navy pants. The only thing i don’t like about them is you have to order the plus sizes online, and return them through the mail. But I have never had a problem with that. I find that ShopKo has some really nice, well priced and comfy clothes. I’m not crazy about the jeans that Walmart carries.

    • Oooo… I never thought about checking Old Navy Pants online! I’ve bought several sweaters and tops in the store that I love, so I’ll definitely have to check out the pants! Thanks for the tip, Kat!

      You are soooo right… shopping sprees aren’t as fun in the big girl section. Lane Bryant would be more fun, but then I look at the price tag and croak to death!

  8. jen

    How exciting for you! Did you buy the jeans?

  9. Karen

    Don’t care what size jeans one wears, they are the worst thing to try on No two brands fit the same. I have settled into J JIll and Coldwater Creek Prefer black or dark blue. Hello from the HCH. May venture to Logan for Easter. Take care. Still check your blog.

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