Cliff Notes Shakespeare and I go way back. I think he’s the uncle of my cousin’s friend’s brother’s schnauzer’s banker’s psychic’s table… 5 times removed. Obviously we’re very close. So, I like to whip out the smart Shakespeare talk whenever I want to sound intelligent like… for example… Out damned spot! works great every time I spill my dinner on my shelf… and by shelf I really mean the tube socks on my upper portion… too much information? Did it again!
I wasn’t going to blog about this… didn’t want to sound all ranty and harpy and pathetic, but I’m going to do it anyway in hopes that it will be a way to let off some steam so that I don’t decide to eat everything and the kitchen sink in desperation. I’m discouraged with the scale… but mostly my kidneys. As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, the years I had diabetes did a number on the kidney portion of my body… and I now have diabetic nephropathy… even if I no longer have diabetes, the harm was already done and now my kidneys don’t work as well as a normal person, which means water retention is a real issue up here in this joint. I’ve usually been able to manage it fairly well on diuretics and watching salt and water intake… which has really put a crimp in my salty seasoned salt salt and more salt dinner menu. Frailty, thy name is woman! See what I did there!? Take that Einstein!
The last 3 weeks, however… not so much. Last week I weighed in with a gain of 8 pounds… this with exercising and staying (for the most part) within 1500 to 2000 calories per day. Not possible that it’s 8 pounds of fat gain… culprit… KIDNEYS!! I’m used to seeing the water weight… it happens regularly… but usually give it a week and it eventually goes away. This morning I got on the scale and saw it go up another 5 pounds in 1 week… making that a gain of 13 pounds in the space of a 3-week period! WHAT THE LOSERS OF ORANGE COUNTY!?!?!?!?! Now, I’m a sensible gal and I know all that is is retained water from my less-than-stellar kidneys. I keep a very tight harness on my food diary. But I’m also human… and that pretty much whipped me upside the head and then threw me in the gutter for the sanitation engineer (see how politically correct I am?) to pick up. It also didn’t help that the number on the scale had a 3 before it again… for the first time since August of last year.
I don’t know where I’m going with this story and Shakespeare has blocked my number on his cell phone… Et tu, Shakey? I’m going to the doctor for my regular checkup at the end of the month. I guess it’s time to consider a stronger diuretic… or steel kidneys!!! How awesome would that be? Causing a ruckus every time I went through a metal detector at the airport!! Just what I love to do, call attention to myself! Listen up, kidneys… I’m fine with maintaining my weight… I welcome it… but leave the gaining to the sumo wrestlers… they would welcome it! A plague on both your
Question of the Day: Are you a fan of Shakespeare? Favorite work?