Last weekend after all the tulip stalking and the BUBBLY garden eating, etc., Lindsay and Madre had to balance out the thing that I wanted to do (gawk at nature) with something that is their most favoritest thing on the planet, CreditCard. What was it you may ask? Hunting pheasants… as if… they do not make fashionista in the color, camouflage. Believe me… if they did they’d already have the outfit. Those of you who know Lindsay or Madre, I won’t even have to tell you what it was because you will have already totally guessed it right. But, for those of you who don’t know them from Beyonce… SHOPPING. Shopping, shopping, shopping, and shopping. Shopping for pretty much anything is their favorite, but at the top of the list is the clothing/shoes/jewelery shopping.
I don’t know many fuller-figured chicks who enjoy the art of clothing shopping. I certainly don’t. It’s like throwing a lion into a cage lined with steak and telling him he can’t eat any of it. In the past when I was a teenager and younger, I’d go with themto a mall and then we’d split up and I’d check out the CD an DVD stores and book stores and then pig out at the food court before we’d meet up again 87 hours later. Either that or I was the bag girl… follow them around from store to store and hold their purses and bags while they tried clothing on. I was like a butler… except with zero pay and a raunchy attitude.
Salt Lake City has this new superhero mall-like structure they like to call City Creek… but when you live in the sticks, you call it City Crick EIEIO…. donkey. It was my first time seeing this other worldy structure with a convertable-top roof so that they can open and close it, weather permitting. The day we went they had it closed… too cold, windy, and some rain. Of course, as soon as I stepped foot into the Crick and took one picture… my camera battery immediately died. Stupid camera… this quality pitcher is the only one I was able to walk out with… which is a shame since there was so much to see and so much to make fun of!
Is it irony or fate that the only picture I got that day was of the Cheesecake Factory portion of the massive structure? Fate… definitely fate! The Cheesecake warriors were smiling down on me on that fateful moment!
Time was not on our side, so the shopper-holics were only allowed to go to two stores… count them… TWO! The first stop of the day was to H&M… which is pretty much their collective favorite store… on our vacation Back East this past October, we had to stop at some random mall just so Madre could go in an H&M. This new one was MASSIVE… like 2 floors’ worth of clothing. It was kind of them to have one small corner dedicated to the plus-sized clothing… so I did get to shop after all. And by small corner, I really mean tucked back near Bolivia… blink and you miss it. I walked out with a silky shirt and a cardigan… pretty sure I bought the shirt because it reminded me of tricot… pretty sure I bought the cardigan because Lindser said it was all the rage. Pretty sure I won’t wear either of them… and since I’ve already washed them… returning them is out of the question! Oh, get over yourself, Whitney.
The next stop… Forever 21. Forever 21 kind of baffled me. It was large and packed from floor to ceiling with stuff. They had the music up so loud, you felt like you should just grab all the clothes and buy them before someone else walked over and did it. Lindsay said she felt frantic. It was like a discotech (do they have those these days? I’m talking square dancing in a ruffled skirt is about as wild as I get). Forever 21 was also massive, at least 2 large floors of clothing. They also had a small corner dedicated to the plus-sized folk, but for folks like me who prefer to blend in with the crowd rather than stand out like a sore thumb, was it weird!! When I was walking through the normal people section I saw several pieces of clothing that I would have tried on… the plus-sized section included a collection of Michael Jackson t-shirts… no joking around… hooker dresses… again, no joking around… and skinny jeans in the colors of the rainbow. Have you seen a full-figured chic recently? The next time I be wearing me a pair of colored skinny jeans, I might as well also rob a bank or something equally as cray cray.
I did walk out of Forever 21 with at least one purchase… y’all seen those things that look like a giant claw that you use to massage your own head?
See how happy she is!?!?!?! I bought one kind of like this sucker but it was smaller and folded up and was only $1.50. Totes what the fashionistas of the world use… and you thought I was a hopeless fashionista! Next time I think I’ll stop by Forever 87… totally more in my wheelhouse!
Question of the Day: Where is your favorite place to shop for clothing? Utahans/Idahoans… anyone been to City Crick yet… what did you think?