The Opposite of Patience?

What happens when you lock me in the kitchen and then throw in Lindsay afterwards?  Bad Luckitis!  It wouldn’t have been so bad if we didn’t actually try to prepare anything for Mother’s Day dinner… and instead just sat, drooling on the floor.  That would have gone over rather smoothly until the microwave rotted and infiltrated the house with radon gasses and the fire department came in to scrape us off the hardwood floors.  That may or may not have put a crimp in the day of the volunteer fire department people.

Instead, we had to make an emergency trip to the store to pick up brown sugar (even if I had written out detailed lists the day before when I did my shopping).  On the way to the store, I was following behind an older woman driving 5 mph in a red boatmobile.  When she came to the unnecessary round-about, she acted like she’d never visited the planet Earth before and made a left, into the opposite lane of traffic instead of just following the round about to make her left.  Needless to say the poor woman ran right into an oncoming car.  Not at a high rate of impact since the car she ran into was basically stopped and she had slowed down to 0.13233243 mph, but impact nonetheless.  Not even me laying on my horn when she was attempting to make the left turn into the oncoming lane of traffic helped.  Poor woman…

On the way in to buy the brown sugar, I helped a guy push his car out of the parking space because for some reason he couldn’t get it to turn on when he had it in reverse.  I immediately offered him a bag of brown sugar to take this sweet car off of his hands.  I’m a wheeler dealer.  If you act now, I’ll throw in a half eaten road cake and a ride in my new red boatmobile around the round-about!

Got the brown sugar home in just enough time to get the chicken ALMOST done by the time the guests would arrive, so we had to stick to the schedule.  Which would have been great, except for the fact that Lindsay got the timer turn off button and the oven turn off button mixed up and so instead of turning off the timer, turned off the entire oven and we didn’t realize our oven was not on, nor was our chicken cooking until 45 minutes later.  BUST!!!  HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, MOM!!!  You’re totally welcome for the raw hide chicken!

The rest went fairly smoothly, except for the glued-together pasta and the fact that despite me saying she should sit down every 10 minutes, Madre insisted on “helping”… PER USUAL!


This is the dessert I made and no way in helium balloons was it calorizing worthy, so sit down and stop it.  There’s nothing that Madre likes more than cheesecake, lemon, and blueberry… and this sucker had all 3 combined for your eating pleasure.  Don’t you forget about it.

This momma was having a fabulous Mom’s day with her new little ducklings… adorbs would be the word I would use but some of the relations were wondering how long before they could be a tastee, Duck A’La Orange.

Dad had his chef over at the assisted living center make these suckers for Madre.  Who doesn’t like chocolate and strawberries?  Don’t answer that chocolate haters!

Tonight, I had the following conversation with 6-year-old cuzzin, Makayla:

Knit Whit:  What did you get your mom for Mother’s Day?  Did you draw her a picture or something?
Makayla:  No… I got her patience.
KW:  Oh… that’s a great gift!   How long is this gift of patience going to last?
M:  Just today.
KW:  Just today, huh… so, when tomorrow comes what are you going to be?
M:  Mad and angry.

Little peeved that she totally stole my next birthday gift idea!  The gift of mad and angry… now, that I can do and it’s totes free of charge for the first hour… then I charge $19.99 plus shipping and handling for every minute thereafter.

Thanks, Momma… for practicing patience today and every day.  It ain’t easy to be my mother… I’ll tell you what!


Question of the Day:  What did y’all do for Mom’s Day?  Any great gifts from the kidlets?  



Filed under Family

8 responses to “The Opposite of Patience?

  1. Avster

    I stole some pampas grass from a friend and planted it in one of the flower beds. I’ve been promising my mother some pampas grass for a few years.

    The lady in the boat-mobile was probably trying to figure out why the chick behind her kept honking the horn. ~laughs~ Poor lady.

  2. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomToTwo

    Question of the Day: What did y’all do for Mom’s Day? Any great gifts from the kidlets?
    Well, I bought and sent my mother a gift and a musical card from all of us and it arrived in plenty of time. YAY me!
    I sent my mother-in-law a musical card from all of us too and she loved it.
    I sent Gramma Dorothy a mother’s day card too ( even though she isn’t really any blood relation, she is 93 and loves to get cards and insists we all call her Gramma). She loved it too.

    My husband took his mother, our kids, and little me out to lunch at Kehde’s BBQ about an hour drive from where we live. We had a really nice visit on our drive, the meal was great, and we drove around some of the historical places there as well.
    Ended up at the Katy Depot and there is new bike shop there where you can rent bikes or buy them and ride up and down the Katy Trail.
    My husband bought me a bike. YAY. Yes, most of you know I had a bike but it was a lemon and driving me crazy so I sold it. Let someone else deal with it.
    The bike shop guy just got this bike in and was working on it. It was the right size and it is blue and silver in color. He is going to finish working on it this week and give us a call so we can go get it. I can’t wait. We are going to take all our bikes and go out on the Katy Trail after I pick mine up. Should be fun.
    The kids got their gramma 2 blouses and 2 pieces of jewelry. She loved them all.
    The kids got me a card each and a calendar and also a bird house for my sweet backyard birds.
    All in all it was a good day…

    • What a great Mother’s Day you had, Louisa. YAY for the new bike. No more trying to make lemonade out of the old one. Katy Trail sounds totally charming and fun! We don’t have any actual “bike” trails around these parts… I guess there are some but the hills are so steep, I’d fall off at the bottom.

  3. Dessa Wade

    Thanks to two of the most wonderful daughters a mother could ask for. The dinner was delicious and the picnic on saturday was equally as good and very enjoyable. I am a proud mother!

  4. I can’t believe you had so much happen to you just on your way to buy a bag of brown sugar. Hope the old lady was okay. I tried texting you back earlier tonight but it didn’t send. Anyways I am enjoying my chocolates (Shhhhh!)

    • YUM, Jenner… and shhhhhhh is right. The secret is out, though, so don’t be alarmed if I show up in the middle of the night one night and steal one or 15. Just warning you in advance!

      The old lady was okay. She was walking around outside of her vehicle and everything. Just probably should definitely NOT be driving.

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