Anyone who knows me pretty much knows that I’m a water drinker… period… end of story.  When I’m extra anemic, it’s ice, ice, ice water (anemic people crave ice… got it?) and when my anemia is under control it’s lukewarm water (stop it… it’s liquid).  I dislike carbonation, so I’ve never been into drinking soda/pop/fizzy bubbly crap (depending on which part of the country you live in), so I have no idea why when I looked in the fridge and saw a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper at 10:30 at night, I felt the need to drink the whole dagnabbed thing.  It’s diet… so there were no calories and no sugar… but there were approximately 8 gallons of caffeine, and when you aren’t accustomed to drinking caffeine, especially in the middle of the night it does strange things to you.

For example… 20 minutes after drinking my 20-oz. Diet Dr. Pepper, I was screaming at the top of my lungs and then falling into an uncontrollable fit of giggles… and not just once… like 52 times in a row.  Is that funny?  If you live in a padded room… yes…  but for some reason I thought it was like the funniest thing to ever happen in my entire lifetime… because I’m now 6 and high on caffeine.  After the idiot routine, I got an extra burst of energy and despite having felt all tired and groggy an hour earlier, I was sprinting the staircase in the house like I was Richard Simmons on a stair stepper and when I reached the top I’d yell… “SUCK IT, EVEREST!” as loud as possible and then book it back down the stairs.

The next 3 hours included periodic seizure-like activity where I’d suddenly just flail around like a dead fish and then laugh like a hyena for 15 minutes straight afterwards.  Y’all… anyone have a strait jacket they could lend me.  I’ve legitimately lost the very last marble I owned.  Now it’s 3:00 in the morning and I’m typing this post with a sudden urge to want to go running and screaming through the streets… just to say I did!?!?!?  It’s cold and dark outside and the outside does not have padding or walls.  I’m hoping within the next 30 minutes I get the crash and burn phase of caffeine use… a girl’s gotta sleep sometime!

Moral of the story:  Whitney should never be allowed to drink caffeine again… EVER.  Also, neighbors… no need to call the Safety Kids… I’m just practicing my stranger danger scream over here.  And one more thing… kids… say no to drugs… that is all!  😛

Question of the Day:  Are you a caffeine addict?  What’s your caffeine weapon of choice?





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22 responses to “Jitter-idiot…

  1. Jacque

    OK Whitney, you just make me laugh. I too am wide awake at 3:30 am and reading your post was exactly what I needed. My favorite soda is also diet Dr. Pepper but I’ve quit pop for the past 5 months. Although I do need the pick me up to stay awake during these long nights at work. Hence, that’s what your blog is for. I’ve had to find other sources besides caffeine to stay awake. Although I do remember once when Jeff and I were dating I had some caffinated drink along with a candy bar and was bouncing off the walls. I ended up duct taping Jeff’s little sister’s hands and feet together just for the fun of it. Thanks for spreading the giggles. I need it this time of night.

    • LOL, Jacque!!! The duct tape on the feet and hands sounds like something I just watched on Dateline NBC! Maybe caffeine is the cause of all the crime we got going on! You aren’t at work and you were still up at 3:30? We need someone to come with a bat around 11:00 and knock us out for at least 8 hours!

  2. Louisa

    Question of the Day: Are you a caffeine addict? What’s your caffeine weapon of choice?

    LOL – Whitney !! Caffeine has the same effect on me. I am serious!
    I almost never drink the stuff. I just can’t tolerate it. I can’t tolerate a lot of medicines and stuff either.
    If I have any soda, it is the non-caffeinated kind ( like Sprite or Orange Crush or Root Beer ).
    If the caffeine kind is all they have, like at a party, then I will satisfy my craving ( if I have a craving ) by just having 3 little sips from my husband’s glass. Then I am done. He always gives me “that look” though when I sip his because he knows how it effects me. He usually is the one that pays for it…LOL.
    I prefer water though.
    With soda, I get jittery and hyper. I get crazy ideas to repaint in the middle of the night and things like that. Dh has told me before that if I have any soda after NOON – then he is going to nail one of my feet to the floor and let me just go around in circles all night while he sleeps.
    { eek }
    Soda has effected me like that ever since I can remember. When we were growing up, soda was a treat. We really had to do something to deserve it. It wasn’t an everyday problem for most people like it is today.
    We raise our kids the same way we were raised ( in regards to soda ) – that it is a treat. We also have educated our kids to the effects of soda in general and the effects of caffeine in general. It makes me feel good to see them make good choices when we are out in public or they are hanging out with their friends and they choose water or will accept a soda then divide it and then switch to water.
    We are all water drinkers now.
    A year and a half ago, we were all drinking juice, milk, and tea a lot. That has changed since I have been on this wt loss journey and educating myself and my family about the amount of sugar we were consuming.
    We are all healthier for the change too!

    • I’m super glad to know that I’m not alone in my weird caffeine issues! It is definitely NOT worth it. I’m good for at least another 10 years without any… well… except for chocolate!

  3. Avster

    I never drink caffeine… I can’t say that it’s ever given me the effect mentioned above though. :b If it has, I’m not telling. 😉
    However, because I never have caffeine if I do drink something with caffeine it gives me a major headache… even if it’s just one swallow! AH!!! HEADACHE!!!

  4. cl2

    Yes–I am. I traded diet coke for crystal light energy, but then I’m back on diet coke again for the past few months–this new acct for work won’t let me quit diet coke again! I didn’t drink caffeine for years and I was the one who always ended up driving at night when I went on road trips with friends as they could put caffeine in me and I was wide awake for the trip.

    • I can see where it would totally help you deal once you get accustomed to the caffeine! My family are caffeine drinkers and they say it doesn’t affect them at all!

  5. Karen

    Pepsi is my drug of choice, but I try to not drink after 5:00 p.m. Use to have the rule that I did not drink before noon, but I’ve given up on that. Even have a refil punch card at Foothill–15 refils for $9–it is a bargain. Have one a day! Have a fun week end. Hope your parents are enjoying Canada.

    • I remember your Pepsi/Foothill addiction. I think I remember my mom picking you up a punch card there a few times for b-day gifts! My mother would be that way with Diet Dr. Pepper…

  6. I love tea! Yum! Terrible for the teeth though. 😦

  7. Jen

    I only drink caffeine at work. Minute Maid makes a drink called “Natural Energy” with just a tiny bit of caffeine. It’s usually enough for me since I don’t drink soda very often either. Next time you drink caffeine, I want to be there to witness it.

  8. Holly H

    That was hilarious. Too bad your parents don’t have a nanny cam. When I do crazy stuff I sometimes wish it was on video just too see if it was as stupid as I remember. I like Coke Zero. I used to drink caffeine on a regular basis and swore it didn’t affect me. I rarely drink it now but when I do I feel super jittery and feel like I can’t think straight.

    • HA!! I’m super glad there was no nanny cam because then I’d have actual proof of exactly how idiotic I looked… and you know my family would not hesitate to use it as blackmail in some way! I totally agree on the jittery/can’t think feeling.

  9. Taralee Duffin

    I keep some caffeinated soda on hand for headaches. I don’t get them too often, but when I do, it hurts sooo bad I can hardly think straight and I feel like I’m going to throw up. If I drink some caffeine and take 4 ibuprofen, it usually does the trick. Mountain Dew White Out is my drink of choice when I need it. Water us my drink of choice 99% of the time. The caffeine makes me feel weird and loopy and messes up my sleep if I drink it after about 4:00 pm.

    • Stupid migraines! I’m with you… anything that can stop those suckers is a must! Glad something help. I don’t think I’d even ever heard of Mountain Dew White Out! You learn something new everyday. And yes, I think I finally learned my lesson about drinking caffeine so late at night. I think I got 2 hours of sleep MAX! Stupid!

  10. Deanna

    HAHAHAHA!!!! That’s funny! I actually do occassionally like a soda, but only occassionally. I am a fan of Cherry Coke Zero or Dr Pepper Ten when I do have one. Otherwise, coffee. Yes, I like my coffee. I used to drink a lot more. I am having just one in the morning now. Oddly enough, since cutting back my sugar intake – my taste for coffee has really changed. I don’t enjoy it like I used to. However, I like my caffeine in the morning.

    Even though I do regularily take in caffeine, I can’t drink it after about 3 p.m. or I can’t sleep at night either. I drink mostly water throughout the day.

  11. You are so funny! I’m not a big caffeinated pop drinker, but on the occasions when I have had some, I have to say it has not had much effect on me. If I were you, I would probably drink a lot more caffeine, but start at 10 am instead 🙂

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