I Must Smell Like A Double Bacon Burger…

Y’all will not believe what unearthly hour I got up at yesterday to pick strawberries… strawberries don’t hang around waiting for you… you wait for the strawberries… 7:00… which is a normal person time to get up but I ain’t normal and by that time I’d had 90 minutes of sleep and was pretty much raring to get the show on the road.  I could live for DAYS on 90 minutes of shut eye time… I said I could live, but I never said I could live sanely.  I need at least 2 more hours to round it out to mediocrely sane.

Oh, so I picked strawberries at 7:00 in the morning at this little farm called Mt. Naomi Farms in Hyde Park… we randomly ran across it on Saturday when we were running errands and because I’m pretty much a strawberry addict who will not go through the 12-step program… like EVER… I immediately added it to my must-do-list… which is sadly getting longer faster than I’m able to cross things off of it.  There either needs to be 24 more hours in a day or I need to find a pirate’s booty… the gold part of the booty… not the rear receptacle.  It was so fun and quaint and delicious.  I felt like I was Strawberry Shortcake, except with less doll-like features.  These berries are delicious!  No contest to the store berries because they’re so much sweeter tasting.

Of course there was a damper put on my quaintly lovely berry-picking morning.  As I was walking from the fields carrying my basket of strawberries, I was attacked by a gigantic dog.  I hear someone yelling… no, no, no… SORRY… and all of a sudden this huge dog has his paws up on my shoulders pushing me backwards, biting at my chin and slobbering the heck all over my face.  Birds hate me… dogs hate me…  And I know it’s just me because Madre was walking just in front of me and the dog bypassed her and headed straight for me because I must smell like a double bacon burger on a regular basis.  Either that or dogs really do know which meat is the juiciest… go for the girl with the flab cakes… she’ll taste dee-vine!

And that… my friends… is why dogs and I don’t get along… They bite me (this is at least the 4th time I’ve been bitten by a strange dog) and I end up having to update my rabies shot on a regular basis.  This one didn’t break skin, so I may be safe, but my chin still smarts (aka feels like a dog bit it).   Note to self:  Throw out that new perfume Eau de’ Beefsteak… STAT!

Question of the Day:  What is your favorite berry?  Do you grow berries in your garden?  



Filed under Getting A Life

12 responses to “I Must Smell Like A Double Bacon Burger…

  1. Avster

    Yup, that’s why I don’t like dogs. My brother was bitten twice, so he must smell like an ol’ double bacon cheeseburger as well.

    Raspberries! Raspberries are awesome! 🙂 I have oodles of raspberries right now. ~licks lips~
    I made a raspberry cake and it was awesome!

    • Ask your brother if he prefers swiss or american on his burger? 😛 Raspberries are deee-licious as well… except for when they’re gone! Did your raspberry cake get rained on by heavenly juices?

  2. dessawade

    Love strawberries, raspberries & blueberries. Not so much blackberries. Too many seedy things. Unruly dogs and Whitney totes don’t get along. Funny account!

  3. kittywampus

    I feel misled. I was expecting more double bacon cheeseburger. Anyway, I’ve always wanted 2 strawberry tarts with whip cream on ’em. Mmmm… Oh, are we talking about fruit? In that case then it’s the lychee berry.

    • You must be looking for Ronald McDonald’s blog… he brings the beef… let me tell you. Fake beef, but beef nonetheless! Tarts with whip cream totally count as fruit… according to the school lunch council! 😛

  4. Deanna

    Oh no! I’ve been scarred for life by a dog too. Picture this: 6 years old, waiting patiently at the bustop minding my own business. Here comes a big ol’ gnarling dog running much faster than I could, chasing after me. It bites me square in the buttocks. Yep, scarred for life. I think for real, except I can’t see it. HA! Real story right there!

    Off topic though, you asked about my favorite berry. Just one? Hmmmm. Blueberries. Strawberries are a VERY close second.

    • Oh my laws, Deanna. No wonder. That would have “scarred” me for life too. There are some awesome dogs out there, but it ruins it for the rest of them when you run into the bad ones!

  5. jen

    My dogs like you 🙂

  6. Louisa

    Sorry you had a scare with a dog, Whitney.
    Dogs seem to think I am their long-lost owner or something when they get within a few feet of me. My daughter is the same way – a dog magnet. Their owners can’t explain it either. We get a lot of ” he/she doesn’t like most people” and here they are wanting us to pay them attention. I don’t know what it is.

    I have been bitten once but it was my fault. When I was 9 yrs old, I had a Brittany Spaniel and my mom had a lab/great dane mix and they got into a snarling biting match. I was scared for my fat littler dog and stuck my hand in between them to stop the fighting. Well, doing that in mid-bite caused my ring finger on my right hand to get sliced open. I thought my precious dog was bleeding but it was ME. My mom FREAKED out. We cleaned it up and then it started to hurt. I also got the talk about not getting in the middle of a dog fight and that they can handle themselves etc…
    I still have the scar on my finger and it is uncomfortable to wear a ring on that finger because of the scar tissue there.

    Question of the Day: What is your favorite berry? Do you grow berries in your garden?
    We love berries. Strawberries are a family favorite. Blueberries are also a favorite.
    My Dh loves blackberries too.
    I love them all. Gooseberries and raspberries as well as all the others…

  7. Phil

    Huckleberries. Are you going with me to pick some this summer?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s