Totally stole that title from Gilligan’s Island… except instead of a tour, it’s a boil. Side note: I have never in my lifetime seen an episode of Gilligan’s Island… that was before my time. It’s amazing what pop culture one picks up from watching Sesame Street… yo! By the by… the other night I watched the documentary, Being Elmo. Fascinating! Who knew how much work goes into becoming a puppeteer? I geeked out approximately 85 times because dude who plays Elmo is like POLAR opposite of what you’d picture the dude who plays Elmo to be.
This weekend’s weekly cooking marathon was a disaster of EPIC proportions. I was excited when I began cooking, but 4 hours later I wanted to rent an Army tank and roll over every last stove/oven combo in the valley. That sounded like a right good entertaining afternoon… said the chick behind the metal bar things. What was my issue? Oh… everything… except the kitchen sink which very kindly ate up every last bit of dinner I cooked. I get all gung ho about trying new things and forget to have a plan B in place when said new things turn out disastrous. Note to self: Plan Bs are always a good idea… and in your case… plans C through Z.
My new thing for this week? Dry lentils. I’ve eaten lentils before. I like lentils in the right recipe. I know they’re the cuzzin to the bean so they are major proteiniferous. All good things to know. I also knew that since this was a new item for me to cook, I’d need to follow the recipe to the T. No changing up things like I’m so used to doing. I found me a mightee tastee-looking recipe for lentil sloppy joes. Madre asked me what I was cooking before I started and when I told her she made a face and said, Good luck with that. Love the confidence oozing off of the madre specimen. I cut up all my veggies, got my ducks in a row (no worries little duckies… you’re safe on my turf), and began my lentil adventure. I followed the recipe to a T… added in how much water it told me to… and since I was following the recipe so diligently, my dish should be totally finished in 30 minutes. Sweet. Just enough time to do the dishes and kick back for a Sundee night jaunt on the deck.
Except… not so much.
One hour in, the lentils were still crunchy… so I added another cup of water and let it “simmer” some more. Every 5 or 10 minutes I’d check my lentils… still crunchy. So every 5 or 10 minutes, I’d add more water until I seriously thought I could probably go for a swim in the lentils with no problems… there I go… totes just conquered my swimming pool aversion! 😛 THREE HOURS later and approximately 5 more cups of water added to what the recipe already called for, I gave the crap up. Crunchy lentils will NOT be on my menu this week. PERIOD. END OF STORY! You might as well just hand me a gift card to the Chuck-up-Arama and call it a day. NASTY!! Lentils are off my desired check list for a while. Madre thinks it’s because they were stewing in a thick sauce… even if I was adding water to said thick sauce. But, the person who made up the recipe obviously made it work… unless he/she prefers crunchy lentils. Oh… by the by… the directions on the lentil package told me to spread them out on a white plate and pick out all the rocks… WTH!?!?!?!? Rocks!? I did not do that… maybe that was the crunch?
The one recipe that did turn out good… the Easy Pad Thai recipe… hallelujah Walter!
The only hard thing about this recipe was waiting 30 minutes for my rice noodles to soak. Dagblasted rice noodles… why can’t you be like your cuzzin, the lentil? On second thought… thank all that be holy they aren’t!
Question of the Day: Have you cooked lentils before? Any good recipes?
PS – Another photo contest… do they ever end? If you have a second, would you click on this Facebook link and like the photo for my friend? Muchas Gracias, y’all!