Excuse You… That Is NOT A Weapon… and Giveaway Winners!

First things first… as promised, the announcement of the TWO extremely prestigious and high brow winners of my Biggest Geezer Loser Dessert Cookbook Giveaway will be announced right now (try saying that sentence 8 times with a mouth full of saltines).  No joking around up in these parts.  I assigned everyone who entered a number… 1 to 20 (those who entered via the blog and FB got themselves TWO numbers) and then I went to the website random.org and had them generate me 2 lucky numeros.  The winners…. drum roll… have you ever noticed that people who wear socks with sandals also tend to wear knee high socks with shorts (hi dad)?

Deanna V. (as in Victor)


Erinn D.

Baby circles!!  Congratulations you two!  If y’all two wouldn’t mind sending me your shipping address to whitney78@gmail.com, it would be a whole lot more accurate than using my psychotic skillz to think up your pad numbers… just trust me on that front.  I ain’t no Sylvia Browne.


Secondly… HI!  Long time no talk.  Though, I’m sure most of you may have felt a sense of relief not having to read my rambling nonsensicalness on a daily basis.  I know I did!!  And that be the truth!  I accomplished quite a bit this last week… and I only got arrested once… out of twelve possible times!  I’d say that’s some good odds right there.  I’ll probably use most of this week to spell out what went down last week… and I’m sure no one gives a whipper snapper what went down this past week, but I’m a future Alzheimer Patient All-Star, so I always have to have my happenings writ down somewheres.  Just so one day I can look back at it and be like… who’s Whitney and what the helium balloon is she blabbering about?

I had to get up at butt o’clock in the morning to drive the 90 miles to the airport to board the plane.  Butt o’clock is hecka early in case you aren’t familiar with it… wayyyyy before 10:00… I’m just saying.  I think I ran on approximately 2 hours of sleep the whole week.  There’s no time to sleep when you have things to do!

The airport… definitely not my favorite place to hang out.  Strip searching is always something I look forward to… you get a hold of one of my luxuriously soft fat flabs and you’ll want to nap for 8 days straight!  That’s what happened.  One of my worst fears going through the security check point at the airport.  The lady had to pat down my fat flabs.  I guess she thought I’d stuffed a weapon up one of them… or a kilo of marijuana.  What do you look at when that’s going on anyway?  It’s so awkward and embarrassing and frankly my personal space half-acre bubble will never be the same!  I exaggerate… it was awkward, but not as horrible as I’d built it up in my brain to be.  I always plan for the worst, so that way I can be pleasantly surprised if it’s only half as horrid as I’d thunk up.

Owing to my trip in October of last year to the East coast where I was unable to fit between the 2 arms of the plane seat, I once again planned on 2 plane seats.  The bane of my existence does NOT like to share it’s half acre space.  I was hugely disappointed when I flew in October and wasn’t able to put the seat arm down.  I’m proud to say that this time… SUCCESS!!!  I haven’t lost much if any poundage since October of last year, but that is not the only way to measure success.  Even if the scale hadn’t been going down, the middle portion was shrinking.  I think next time I could do with one seat… although, I’ll probably still try the 2 seat thing because it’s awesome to be able to have breathing room.  I ain’t gonna lie.  Claustrophobia is issue number 34894894u19unfafla on my issue list.

NSVs all over the place… and it isn’t even 8:00 yet!  I’m out.  More about day 1 manana!  Have a fabulous Monday, my pals!

Question of the Day:  Which seat do you prefer when flying… window or aisle or middle?  Have you ever had to be patted down through the security check point?  

PS – Happy Birthday to my sweet cuzzin, Jen-Jen!!  Have a great day, Bill Nye the Science Guy!  😛


Filed under Getting A Life, Giveaway

11 responses to “Excuse You… That Is NOT A Weapon… and Giveaway Winners!

  1. Deanna

    WOOT WOOT!!!!! *Happy Dance!* I am super excited! Thanks so much, Whitney!

    I’ve missed your “ramblings” actually. Always a good read and laugh. This one didn’t disappoint either. LOL! Great NSV for you! I just traveled very recently as well. There just isn’t much space on those planes. I prefer the window or aisle seat but when I traveled with my son, I ended up in the center seat both times. Honestly, nothing worse than having to bring a 5 year old to the bathroom repeatidly though when you have someone else to crawl/jump over.

    Glad to have ya back!

    • Oh laws… how miserable to have been stuck in the middle seat with a child!! I can’t even imagine! That’s why I think they should assign seats or something. I get so anxious over getting a quality seat! Glad you won, Deanna!

  2. cl2

    Welcome home. I’m sure you are all excited to get back to work??? I used to like the window–as you can kind of shrink into it and “disappear”–have a window and you can look out the window rather than talking to some stranger next to you. Now I like the aisle. I have resltless legs and I have can’t stand to be TRAPPED. I have bad claustrophobia, too. If it didn’t cost so much, I’d go the 2 seat route, too. I actually used to love to fly. No longer. Never been patted down. I did get stopped for something in my purse. I think I’ve told you this before. I keep a ton of change 9remember when I dropped it all at checkout at Wal-Mart. Well, my change purse set off alarms I guess. Not the fingernail clippers or teh tweezers–my bag of change. And I had to KEEP AWAY so they could examine things. The way they handle things, I feel SO SAFE–don’t you? (being sarcastic)

    • Excited to go back to work… you have no idea! 😛 This week is going to be a bugger too! One day at a time, Whitney! A secret to the 2 seats… I have not ever had a problem with them refunding me for the 2nd seat. I just call them after I’ve flown and they’ve been really great about refunding as long as the plane wasn’t overbooked. LOL!! The bag of change thing is quite ironic. Good ole USA! I tell you!


    Glad to see you are back from your trip and back to blogging.

    Terrific job with the airplane seat.
    Yikes about being searched….

    Question of the Day: Which seat do you prefer when flying… window or aisle or middle? Have you ever had to be patted down through the security check point?

    I have flown but that was yrs ago ( and before they did the whole body search thing ).
    I like the window seat.
    If I would have to fly now with my kids, I would take the aisle because I know I would be up and down with them to the bathroom.
    If I had to fly with my husband, I would give him the aisle seat ( he has never flown and would be a nervous flyer ).

    • I was more fond of the window seat as well… I like to “hide” from everyone. That is too crazy that your husband has never flown!

      • LOUISA

        LOL – I know, right!?
        My Dh hasn’t flown. He only rode a train just last year ( and it was for under an hour ). He prefers to drive. He is one of those people that likes to drive….A LOT. I guess that means he is in the right profession ( truck driver ).
        Matter of fact, he hasn’t been very many places either ( like other states ). He has been all over Missouri, just inside IL, some of Iowa, just inside KS, through OK just inside TX, and just inside TN.
        I like to travel by car, plane, and train. He prefers to drive because he says there is so much just here in the states that he hasn’t seen and would like to see one day. Admittedly, he hasn’t seen very much.

  4. Avster

    Nope… didn’t miss… it… not once… nope… didn’t miss nearly spewing out the food I’d just popped into my mouth… 😉

    I prefer the window seat… then I’m not tempted to trip anyone as they walk down the aisle… though I have wondered what would happen if I just took a whole can of pop off the stewardess’s tray just to see what she would do.

    Pat down? Frisked? Nope… Floyd scares ’em off.

    My father was patted down once… and he’s flown, I think, just twice. There and back. :b

  5. Okay, so I have a much huger fear of airports than I do of flying. I am so claustrophobic of people–ugh! I used to dread them because I was afraid of setting the metal detector off. Now my fears have greatly multiplied with all the tightening down of airport security–like #1 How do I get my supply of hand sanitizer through the check point. 🙂
    I definitely prefer the window seat! At least I feel like I am not surrounded by people and I can look out at the great expanse of sky. And yes, I have been patted down. It happened a couple of years back, when I was flying with my 4 or 5 month old baby. All I could think was, Really guys?! I stared the lady doing it down and laughed throughout it–I figure I might as well make her feel as awkward as I did.

    • DITTO, DITTO, DITTO!! We are like basically twinsies, Alena! I can’t believe that lady patted you down while carrying a baby! That is redonculous! Thankfully the supply of hand sanitizer was okay as long as it was under so many ounces or I’d have been IN TROUBLE! I had at least 3 stuffed into my purse. And to buy anything at the aiport, you need a dagnabbed loan!

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