Bore Books…

I have a bone to pick with every last author of every last school text book… every last one of y’all.  Listen up… YOU SUCK!  Oh man… that took a load off!  I’m good for the next 33 years… at least!  It’s them kinds of descriptive sentences that make this country dumber than China!  I have always hated text books.  Firstly, they’re hecka boring.  Secondly, they’re snoringly boring… and thirdly, did I mention the part about the boringness?  I’ve always said it was in the way they were written… matter of factly, listing fact upon fact upon fact.  I don’t learn that way.  I need entertainment and a bottle of vodka apple juice.  No, I don’t need someone to pop out from the book and do a soft shoe tap dancing routine whilst singing about Henry the VIII’s 5 bajillion wives, but livening things up couldn’t hurt any.  Whilst you’re telling me about good ole Henry, tangent some… go off into that story about your great Aunt Gertrude and her hemorrhoid flare or that captivating story about how you glued your dentures to the table.  Something!  Anything!  Tell a few jokes about how Christopher Columbus crapped a balloon filled with marijuana and that’s how it was invented.  I don’t really care if it’s not true… that there stuff is funnee… said the 15-year-old immature redneck.

Because I’ve always found the text book boring, I just never read them… all the way through grade school, middle school, junior high, and high school.  I didn’t.  I’d skim through the required chapter and then cross my fingers that the tests were multiple choice and that I’d somehow soak up the rays of psychic Sylvia Browne’s psychoing powers to get an A.  And it usually worked!  I had awesome grades all throughout schooling.  But then I got to college and not reading text books wasn’t gonna fly… and it reflected in my grades.  I flunked out of this horrid weather class I signed up for… FLUNKED… and that was the first F in my entire schooling career.

This time I’m determined to read every single last page of every single text book I purchase.  If I’m going to pay the purchase price of Antarctica to buy those blasted fire starters, I’m going to get my money’s worth.  Just one problem… text book authors haven’t improved from 10 years ago.  Not one bit.  I struggle to stay awake whilst reading my finance book.  Not that I don’t want to learn about all the nice financial phrases and stuff, but seriously… something about Aunt Gertrude’s hemorrhoid flare would be fantastic right about now.

Question of the Day:  Text Books… Boring or Interesting?  Any favorite text books? 

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15 Comments

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15 responses to “Bore Books…

  1. Susan

    I studied political science in college, so you can infer the level of interest in my textbooks. I took world politics one summer and paid $50 for a little text – bet it wasn’t an inch thick. I never cracked that book and made an A in the class. Economics text books were the worst…..until I got to quantitative analysis…snore…zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  2. Avster

    Yup, boring… unless it’s a history text…

  3. cl2

    What’s a textbook? I haven’t been to school for about 35 years.

  4. Does Guns & Ammo and Petersons Hunting count as text books? I read them and learn cool stuff??

  5. Okay, so I think I might be a nerd 🙂 I read every page of my Psychology textbook in college and found it quite interesting, I am still kicking myself for getting rid of my anatomy and physiology books, and I have a (lifetime) goal to read and understand (okay I don’t know if it is entirely possible, but I am giving myself the rest of my life to do it) my pathophysiology textbook from college.

  6. Diana Davidson

    I think you’ve just stumbled upon the perfect career…..writing exciting textbooks! Or maybe a consultant/editor. A professor could give you their boring textbook and then pay you to insert your great humor into it. Then all the students would read it! Just sayin’ …………

  7. jen

    A finance book does sound very boring. I was a nerd in high school and college and I thought I had to read every word in my books. It didn’t pay off because now I don’t remember anything

  8. LOUISA

    Question of the Day: Text Books… Boring or Interesting? Any favorite text books?
    Sounds like the textbooks are exactly the same since I was in college 15+ yrs ago…
    {yikes – that was painful to type}
    I liked reading my Psychology textbooks and Mythology texts but that was about it for me.
    The rest of the subjects, I got by with scanning important info and retaining it long enough for the final exam. I also did extra work and extra labs to bump up my grade too.
    Poli-Sci & Econ were the worst for me. I really struggled to pass those two and I was an A student. B O R I N G
    I struggled with just going to the class for heavens sake! I would rather cover an extra shift at work to miss it or get a root canal.
    I couldn’t relate or apply it in any way to what was going on in my life at all or how I could possibly need it later.
    I was very frustrated with those two classes.

    Whitney, if there is someone in your class that is ‘getting it’ – really getting it –
    ( there is always at least one ) maybe you could ask them to explain something you are confused about in layman’s terms to help.
    My boyfriend, at the time, liked those classes and was in higher level classes than I was and he helped me a tiny bit. I needed every little bit too.

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