I have a bone to pick with every last author of every last school text book… every last one of y’all. Listen up… YOU SUCK! Oh man… that took a load off! I’m good for the next 33 years… at least! It’s them kinds of descriptive sentences that make this country dumber than China! I have always hated text books. Firstly, they’re hecka boring. Secondly, they’re snoringly boring… and thirdly, did I mention the part about the boringness? I’ve always said it was in the way they were written… matter of factly, listing fact upon fact upon fact. I don’t learn that way. I need entertainment and a bottle of
vodka apple juice. No, I don’t need someone to pop out from the book and do a soft shoe tap dancing routine whilst singing about Henry the VIII’s 5 bajillion wives, but livening things up couldn’t hurt any. Whilst you’re telling me about good ole Henry, tangent some… go off into that story about your great Aunt Gertrude and her hemorrhoid flare or that captivating story about how you glued your dentures to the table. Something! Anything! Tell a few jokes about how Christopher Columbus crapped a balloon filled with marijuana and that’s how it was invented. I don’t really care if it’s not true… that there stuff is funnee… said the 15-year-old immature redneck.
Because I’ve always found the text book boring, I just never read them… all the way through grade school, middle school, junior high, and high school. I didn’t. I’d skim through the required chapter and then cross my fingers that the tests were multiple choice and that I’d somehow soak up the rays of psychic Sylvia Browne’s psychoing powers to get an A. And it usually worked! I had awesome grades all throughout schooling. But then I got to college and not reading text books wasn’t gonna fly… and it reflected in my grades. I flunked out of this horrid weather class I signed up for… FLUNKED… and that was the first F in my entire schooling career.
This time I’m determined to read every single last page of every single text book I purchase. If I’m going to pay the purchase price of Antarctica to buy those blasted fire starters, I’m going to get my money’s worth. Just one problem… text book authors haven’t improved from 10 years ago. Not one bit. I struggle to stay awake whilst reading my finance book. Not that I don’t want to learn about all the nice financial phrases and stuff, but seriously… something about Aunt Gertrude’s hemorrhoid flare would be fantastic right about now.
Question of the Day: Text Books… Boring or Interesting? Any favorite text books?