Not Gonna Happen, My Friends…

I’d totes love to write a blog post tonight… except that is physically impossible on account of the fact that every time I move my fingers to type these here words I cringe in achiness.  Oh the humanity!!  Nothing tragic/what a few days’ rest can’t cure, mostly major stupidity…  and I am well acquainted with stupidity.  We are totally BFFs!  Also, does someone want to come out this way with a ball bat and whack me in the noggin a couple times?  I’d prefer to be brainless said the scarecrow after Toto peed on his leg.

Meanwhile, I will leave you with this:

Why yes I do humiliate myself a lot on this blog… why do you ask?  Question:  If you’re the fattest kid in the class and you’re a girl, why would the teacher pick you to be Santa Claus in the 4th grade play?  And Mother/Father… why in the all things cream puff did you put a quilt batting beard on me… I might as well have stuck a sign to my bowl full of jelly that read… yep, I’m making it easy for you to make fun of me… ready, set, GO!  

I also just noticed that with the crink in my neck (due to my glasses and their circumferential weight) my head is 75% glasses and forehead and 25% chin with quilt-batting beard.  Oh lawsy… can I got back in time and erase all of that?  No?  Okay then… moving on.  Mrs. Claus, I’m playing you next!

Question of the Day:  Did you do any plays/theater in grade school?  Do you remember who you played?  




Filed under Family

16 responses to “Not Gonna Happen, My Friends…

  1. Natalie

    Haha! But thats more awesome than anything I did in 4th grade!


    Look at YOU! How cute is that!?
    My sister was Santa one year when our kids were really little. I think our son was about two and our daughter about five then. Our daughter knew it was Auntie within about 10 seconds of her coming through the door. Probably the glasses or the way she walked or something. It was really obvious to her though. She was good not to blurt it out though. She just ran right to “Santa” and that kind of freaked out our son.
    Our son was much smaller and more easily fooled. LOL The costume was good – it really was – so in all fairness, I can see why he wasn’t fooled.
    He didn’t want to get close to “Santa” though. He has never liked anything in a costume ( still even to this day ) or covering the face. Not Santa, Easter Bunny, Mascots, cartoon characters you meet at theme parks…nuh-uh!
    Finally, when the pictures and necessary stuff was done, then she talked to him like Auntie and told him it was her. He wasn’t convinced which was funny all over again but he finally started seeing it and then went into her to check her out ( pull her beard down ).

    Question of the Day: Did you do any plays/theater in grade school? Do you remember who you played?
    Yes, I remember being the princess in a play in grade school. I had the whole pink ( from head to toe) costume and the pink pointy princess hat with the sequins and the tulle coming down it. My whole grade was in it so I wasn’t the only one on stage. We all were on stage but only a few of us were in costume.

    • Awwww… that was a cute Santa story. I don’t blame your son for not liking folks dressed up in costumes. That can be freaktastic for a little person! I’d say a princess was a very good thing to be in a play… much more little girl-like than Santa!

  3. Avster

    ha ha ha! You look enraptured with your role. :b

    Lets see… I was in one play… I was a lowly soldier with just seven words. ~sighs~ However, it was a musical and I did get to sing in the majority of the songs so made up a bit for the lack of lines.

    • Avster

      Oh… and I hope that the uh… stupidity on your part wasn’t due to Ursula…

    • Seven words… that must have been the main part right there!! Do you remember the name of the play!? Yes, Ursula is in full swing. One day we’re going to catch her and throw her in a pit… teach her to give us crud!

  4. dessawade

    THAT IS FUNNY! I forgot about that one. Get better soon

  5. jen

    I can’t believe your teacher made you play Santa Claus! How rude! Hope you recover from your falling soon.

  6. Thank goodness you can’t go back and erase things like that priceless picture!
    I am sure I was in a play or two maybe, but I am so good at blocking things out that I can’t really remember what 🙂
    I hope you recover quickly!

    • No way… you were a talented theater person as a youngster!! At least I remember going to one of your plays… Pied Piper, was it? I was really upset that you didn’t suggest my name to play Santa Claus. I had so much experience.

  7. Deanna

    LOL!!!! Love it! Too cute!

  8. Never fear– I was some sort of circus performer in the 2nd grade play and had to stand on a desk and pretend like I was riding a horse. During the dismount, I fell off the desk to the floor in front of the whole school (that would be K-6). My mom told me nobody noticed. Ha! She noticed, and she was near the back. She really thought that would fool me??

    • Oh boy… that had to have been humiliating! I swear I always say I’d never want to go back to being a kid just because everything that happened to me seemed so humiliating. Thanks for stopping by!

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