HOG! BUTTS!

I made a few notes when I was outlining what my posts for this week would be… next to this particular topic… 2 words… HOG! BUTT!  That pretty much sums it up.  The End!  Thanks y’all for stopping by to read, friends.  Have a fabulous Mondee!

I’m feeling particularly gourdly lately.  Like all swelly and gourdly and portly… puffy… porkified?  How many P words can I use to insult myself.  Stay tuned to find out!  Part of it is because I’m a stress-eating, maniacal Jaclyn the Ripper…  the other part of it is because I’m fat… but nicely.  So, it turns out when one hypothetical person runs out of free time and is behind in textbook reading/homework, that same hypothetical person eats… because hypothetically that’s what emotional eaters do.  They eat to bury the emotion.  What would it hurt if this hypothetical idiot  just sat for a while and felt the stress?  Or what would it hurt if I… errrr… the hypothetical person talked herself through the stress instead of stuffing it down to meet up with the gangrenous portion of her toes?  It probably wouldn’t hurt at all… except for the fact that would require me to have more stress trying to find time to do above-mentioned coping mechanisms.

I’m sure if I sat my gourdly butt down and actually planned out my day, I’d find all sorts of free time… but one doesn’t see that in the moment… and clearly most every last one of you reading this here violin solo are 3000000000 times busier than I am with kids and work and everything else piled on top of the Aqua-Netted bangs, but y’all still find time to do everything and then bake a bundt cake for the school cake drive!  SOMEONE GIVE ME YOUR SUPER POWERS!!  I’m a weak individual… and kind of complainy… and anxiety-ridden, which is probably where most of the stress comes from… making a mountain out of a tiny ant farm (mole hills are so 2005)!

So, to sum it up.  CHILL THE HECK OUT, WHITNEY!!!!!!!  Good crimeny, you’re making Sybil look normal!  All I know is I have no patience for this slippery slope of bad habits in eating I seem to have jumped back onto.  Also, note to self… CHILL THE HECK OUT!

Question of the Day:  How do you handle stress?  

**** Happy Birthday (yesterday) to my long-time pal, Alena!!  It’s a rule that you’re supposed to eat like a HOG!BUTT! and sit on your patookus on your birthday.  Non-negotiable!

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12 Comments

Filed under Emotional Eating

12 responses to “HOG! BUTTS!

  1. Lindsay

    Happy Birthday Alena, we love you! Stress! AAaaarrgghh, well this last week I got so stressed out that I got severe headaches and burst a blood vessel in my eye and I looked really spooky for Halloween and everyone thought I did something to my eye for a costume! That’s what happens to me!

  2. Natalie

    Cook ahead and prepackage your foods. Bring them with you so you are set up for eating good stuff. The secret I know about getting everything done is that you can’t get everything done. You can have it all, but not all at once. I can’t! Prioritize, then dump the rest, and know you aren’t going to be perfect. I’ve seen those bunt cake people’s houses, they have a cleaning service, their husbands do most of the messy stuff and child care, and they go get their nails done because they deserve it. The real people are struggling it out with you and me just hoping to hit the priorities half assed or at all. Some things don’t matter, so let your self some slack and work on the next thing due, while having a backpack full of food that isn’t from McDonalds is a win!

    • Nammy always has some great advice… now I just need to sit down, shut up, and do it! You are right about the bundt cake people! I might like to live in their lives for a couple of months, though! 😉

  3. Avster

    Hope you had a great birthday, Alena! 🙂

    I guess I look at stress and think, “It’s not going to last that long so it can’t get that bad.” and that makes it all seem to be much better.
    That being said… on the whole stress doesn’t often get to me… soo… I’m afraid I can’t be much help.

  4. cl2

    When you figure it out, let me know and share with me. I wish I could say I had some answers–but I think it is an individual thing.

  5. LOUISA

    I hear ya Whitney. I ate way too much at the family reunion this weekend.
    They had little boxes on each table full of Halloween candy too. Ugh! Needless to say I feel icky today.
    I need to detox my system this week.
    Guess what we have next weekend? Yes, you guessed it – another family reunion. Ha!

    Question of the Day: How do you handle stress?
    LOL – stress! Well, stress and I are old pals. I have more than enough stress on a daily basis ( scheduling conflicts, kids activities, keeping my house & meals, keeping my husband’s work schedule on track, and getting in my exercise).
    I handle my stress by cooking and deep cleaning and washing and taking long walks. I am happiest when I have done a lot of each of these things but admittedly, that doesn’t always happen.

    • Wow!! Family reunions this late in the year sounds so foreign to me. But a great idea if you ask me. We usually have them in the dead of summer when it’s too hot to enjoy any outdoorsy things! This too shall pass, right? Hope you get to feeling better from the weekend eating!

  6. Thank you! You are just the sweetest! I am glad that eating and sitting on my hind quarters is a birthday requirement–you can call me a big success 🙂
    I too, am a big stress eater. Walking and playing the piano are my best stress coping answers (but eating is what I do most often 😦 )

    • I’m glad you are still playing the piano! Go Alena!! I have gotten worse at the piano (if that’s even possible) than I was when I took lessons!

      Yay for the big b-day butt-sitting success! MUCH DESERVED!

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