10 Ridiculous Things “DIE”ter’s Say…

I read this article sometime before Thanksgiving whilst trying to find some fresh ammunition to get my butt back into the groove of eating less craptastically.  It hasn’t worked yet, but I aim to drill it into my noggin with my trusty Black and Decker drill bit.  Anyone ever tried drill therapy?  Drill a hole through your tongue and you’ll never want to eat again?

The article contained 10 Ridiculous Things “Die”ters Say… and since I’m never in my lifetime ever going on another “die”t even with a drilled hole in my tongue, I changed it to 10 Ridiculous Things Calorizers Say… there… psyche quelled.  My plan in this post is to list each individual item in bold, and then make snarktastic comments to the side of them.  You are welcome.

1- “If I exercise enough I can eat what I want.”  I’ve learned that this weight loss thing is approximately 90% what and how much you eat and 10% exercise.  If you’re eating fast food 3 times a day and exercising 30 minutes a day… you’re going to gain weight.  Exercise is beneficial for a healthy body/heart/mind, all that good stuff, but it doesn’t do a thing if you’re not throwing in the eating properly thing too.

2- “I don’t drink soda. Only juice, tea, and lemonade.”   I’m adding “all things in moderation” to this here point.  Lighten up, Fitbie… geez!  Drinking anything aside from water is going to be empty calories and those empty calories can add up fast… so by the end of the day you’re left wanting to chew something.  I’ve never been into shakes and smoothies and the like for that very reason.  I don’t feel like I’ve eaten anything unless I’m chewing.

3 – “I avoid potatoes because they’re fattening.”  SACRILEGE!!!!  I’m from Idaho… take that back!  I don’t care if 10 years down the road they discover potatoes cause zits and oily pores… I’m a gonna be baking and eating and mashing my taters until they throw me 6-feet down.   The only fattening potato is the french-fried one and/or the one you put 10 pounds of butter and a container of Sour Cream on… and come on… that had to be obvious.

4 – “I never eat after 7 PM.”  THANK YOU!!  I always got frustrated with the nutritionist/dieticians who told me I needed to close my mouth and my kitchen after 6:30.  I can’t work like that because when someone tells me I can’t do something, I’m going to be obsessing over it until I do it anyway.  All things in moderation… chillax!

5 – “I eat the organic chips, which are healthier.”  ALL THINGS IN MODERATION!  Again, grow some frijoles, Fitbie!  (yes I’m aware that I just told them to grow some beans).   Of course organic does not automatically mean healthy… it just means they grew the stuff in cow doo instead of with chemicals and pesticides and stuff.  Somehow the cow doo sounds less appetizing, but I’ll take your word for it, people of the Earth.

6 – “I already blew my diet and ate a piece of cake. Might as well eat the rest of it.”  Oh boy… they must have heard me talking like pretty much every day the last few weeks.  My favorite is… I’ll start again tomorrow… which inevitably has turned into 3 months later and I’m about to say it again.  Disgrosting behavior, Whitnit!

7 – “No water for me today—I don’t want to look bloated at the party tonight.”  I have never in my lifetime ever uttered such ridiculousness.  PUH-LEASE, Twiggy and Mary Kate Olsen!  Firstly, I never go to parties… and secondly, water is the nectar of the smart people!

8 – “I can’t eat eggs, they’re bad for me!”
  Oh, shoot me now… I eat eggs several times a week… it’s one of my main sources of protein.  Most times it’s the egg white/egg beater form, but I do regularly eat whole eggs too.  Don’t offend the chickens… eat eggs!

9 – “If I eat breakfast, I’ll keep eating all day”  Durrrrrrrrrrrrrr… another one from Twiggy, I suppose.  Eat breakfast and be Merry for tomorrow you can eat it again.  Eating breakfast is a smart thing for your blood sugar and your metabolism.

10 – “I ate a triple hamburger and large shake today, but that never happens.”  And your point is?  ALL THINGS IN MODERATION!  I suppose if I were to use the all things in moderation mantra on this one, it wouldn’t be a triple burger but a single and the large shake would become a small… and it wouldn’t be a daily occurrence, but a once-in-a-while one.  Be smart about it… and LIGHTEN UP!!

Question of the Day:  Which of these phrases are you most famous for saying?  Which do you have mastered?  

This here is Marvin… he was a nice visitor and all until he attempted to eat my camera.  Nice try, Marvin!


Filed under Calorizing, Diet

18 responses to “10 Ridiculous Things “DIE”ter’s Say…

  1. So if I don’t say any of those things, I get an award?! It is pretty crazy the excuses people will come up with to make themselves feel better or to avoid doing something. Because people do not want to admit to being wrong. :p

  2. Lindsay

    Marvin is so cute!


    Marvin is a cutie! You are going to have to start carrying some carrots or apples in your pocket for sweet Marvin.

    Question of the Day: Which of these phrases are you most famous for saying? Which do you have mastered?

    I would have to say I have said most of them at some time in the past.
    I have always knows breakfast is important and eggs are one of our favorites and I have known they are healthy since I was a wee-thing.
    I haven’t told myself the other lies recently though so I am happy about that.
    Getting moving is important but I have learned I don’t have to exhaust myself to do a good job for the day.
    I drink water (period ) – which is a huge change for me.
    I don’t eat a lot of potatoes just because I like them with all the butter and sour cream and cheese, bacon, etc… To me potatoes have to have all that…lol…so they are a once-in-awhile treat.
    I try to not eat late because I know I am just going to go to sleep but I do have popcorn a few nights a week.
    I am not a big chip or cracker eater. I don’t even keep them in the house.
    I have tried some of the sweet potato chips and they were ok.
    #6 – i can over do it with cake….but it isn’t often so I give myself a break.
    I don’t have to worry about #10 just because I am not a hamburger /fast food eater…lol.
    Now …the shake …that is another thing…LOL.
    I like shakes but have to limit myself.

  4. Avster

    ““I never eat after 7 PM.” ”
    This is something I established in my teen years to help me lose weight and it was very effective. My problem with eating is that I snack way too much so cutting out eating/most eating after seven made a world of difference. Now I’m a lot more lenient on eating after seven as I’ve learned moderation. 😉 Now I figure I can eat one kind of food after seven and that’s my snack. No more! There are special occasions though, but eating a lot after seven once a month isn’t going suddenly make me gain weight.

    “I avoid potatoes because they’re fattening.”
    Oh bother. If potatoes were really fattening I’d weigh much more than I do. Potatoes are one of my favorite foods. 🙂

    ““I eat the organic chips, which are healthier.”
    ha ha This is why the organic bandwagon people make me laugh. Some of them are way too excited for eating healthy because it’s organic. Yeah, yeah, I realize that the food is better for you, but it’s not a miracle drug.

  5. dessawade

    I certainly haven’t said the one about not drinking soda 🙂

  6. “I already blew my diet and ate a piece of cake. Might as well eat the rest of it.” –Yep, that’s me 🙂 I’m always ready to start that diet TOMORROW!
    I always drink water though, and never go to parties 😉

  7. Seth

    “i avoid eating anything that contains fat”

    hear it all the time and it drives me crazy. fats help regulate hormones, aid in losing adipose tissue, help lower LDLs and raise HDLs, support a health immune system and many other positive health influences.

    although, all fats are not created equal.

    unsaturated fats provide all these health benefits listed above while saturated fat intake increases risk of coronary heart disease or cardiovascular disease.

    example: eat a hand full of almonds instead of a bag of chips, cook with olive oil as a alternateve to margarine or butter.

    also keep in mind that total fat intake should be approximately 15-20% fat.

    what would I choose if offered a bag of chips or a hand full of almonds…chips everytime baby:-)

    • Amen in a handbasket, Seth! That’s why you’re so smart. Ironically I have almonds on this week’s menu. You’re right, they ain’t no chips, but I like them and won’t be giving them up any time soon!

  8. Susan

    I’m guilty of the cake offense. Usually if I blow it early in the day, I blow off the rest of the day.. So 300 calories over for the day turns into 1000.

    I actually turned myself around today after giving in to a tempting muffin. I was proud that I reeled it back in.

    • You blow it early in the day and my issue is blowing it later at night. I can have a perfect day but then night comes and it’s all out the window. Maybe we need to trade brains… you can have mine in the morning and I’ll take yours at night! Way to go for reeling it in after the muffin!

  9. If I exercise I can eat anything… well, its true if you exercise for a few hours anyway. 😦

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