Jell-O is like the official food of Utah… except in Utah a Jell-O dish isn’t a Jell-O dish until it has something grated into it that has no right being inside of it! I’m looking at you carrots! That’s the best definition I can come up with for how my knees behaved during opening night of The Garden tonight. In all my years of singing, I hadn’t realized how intimidating it would be to stand on a stage with a big ole spotlight trained on only me in front of an audience of
thousands dozens… and with nothing to hide behind! I suggested I could hide behind the big tree I stand next to, but for some reason no one thought that was a good idea… nor did they think my joke was funny… spoil sports.
So, my legs are shaking violently standing up there in a heavenly ball of light and all I can think is… please don’t faint… please don’t faint… also, remember to buy deodorant. And once your legs start to shake, there’s no stopping them. It’d be like stopping kitty Lucy-Fur from cleaning her nether regions in front of company… ain’t happening! I’m proud to report I did not faint tonight… but I still have 3 more nights to accomplish said goal. KNOCK ON WOOD! I’ll bring a carrot to grate should that happen… best believe it!
Question of the Day: What do you do to calm your nerves?
PS – I am pretty sure I have the best family and friends alive on the planet. Thank you to those who came tonight and those who have tickets for other nights. I really am a blessed girl.
PPS- Karen… this is Maxine… you need to become acquainted with her… she’s right up your alley! 😛
RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE FROM MAXINE
As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don’t really give a rat’s hiney. It’s the tortoise life for me!
1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.
I’m retired. Go around me.