Oh hai… lovely day to be a fisherman, isn’t it? I don’t know what that means, except that I probably should be seen by a psychiatrist. I felt like a frigging hypochondriac this week… except I wasn’t but that didn’t stop the many different specialists I saw who I’m sure thought I was. I mentioned in last week’s post about the horrid shooting pain I had going on all over my ear and head and face and teeth. Now, if I can avoid going to a doctor, I sure as heck will because with the exception of broken bones I tend to self-treat… but after 2 weeks of the pain getting more and more intense to the point where I couldn’t sleep or think of anything else but the fact that my head needed to be chopped off (shut it… I hear you with the head should have been cut off years ago joke), I finally surrendered. A week ago this past Friday, I finally bucked up and went to see a physician’s assistant in my doctor’s office. I was sure he was just going to give me an antibiotic for my earache (was also sure the horrid shooting pain was stemming from my ear because apparently I got my doctorate in my dreams last week… best way to get it… I grade the papers… and the dagnabbed classes are FREE!) He looked at my ears and told me he was sure my earache was due to wax buildup and that if I got that stuff removed I’d be sunning on the beaches of Hades in no time.
I’m all like… cool… is that all? So, like I mentioned last week, he sent me home with a home remedy and I faithfully followed it all weekend. Come this past Monday, the pain was 6 times worse and all the home remedy did was made my ear feel all cloggy and made me want to take up binge drinking. I got on the horn and made an emergency appointment with an ENT specialist… thinking surely they could just use their dustbuster majigger and suck my wax out… no issue. Isn’t that an appetizing picture to paint during breakfast time… hope you enjoy your Malt-O-Meal… also, you are welcome. I told my story to the nurse practitioner at the ENT’s office… I’m sure she was on guard thinking I was a pain pill seeker or some such nonsense. She looked into my ears and was all like, Who told you you had wax buildup? There’s nothing in here. Which I took to heart because I knew my brain had leaked out my ears years ago. Well, that’s embarrassing. I had her suck out what was in there, which… she was right… was nothing… and I still had that same ole horrid shooting pain. She started to worry me talking about bringing in the audiologist to do some hearing tests, etc. All I could envision was a future of hearing aids. The audiologist came in and did a few tests, didn’t find anything wrong, but then scheduled me an appointment with him for a litany of other tests the next day (apparently, his schedule was too full that afternoon).
Back to square one… and it’s hard to think things through rationally when your head is a massive ball of fire red nerve bundles with basically zero sleep. I was desperate… desperate to sleep… desperate to quell the pain in my head… but mostly anxious to read the decapitation clause in my insurance pamphlet. I made an appointment with my dentist on a whim. I’d just been to the dentist 2 weeks before and had some cavities filled… and they took x-rays… and they told me there was nothing else wrong besides the cavities that they filled, so that didn’t seem like the prime problem. Another round of x-rays later, it turns out that one of the cavities they filled in my very back upper right molar they had so happened to fill directly on TOP of the nerve in the tooth. So, basically the nerve was mad as a hornet’s nest that someone came up on her territory and she was going to punish the intruder (aka me… but really the dentist). I’m all like… fix it. And he’s all like, we don’t work on molars… and I’m all like… well, you just did 2 weeks ago… and he’s all like (hi, I’m a valley girl) but this will need a root canal to fix it and we don’t do root canals on molars here.
BLAST IT ALL TO GRAVY! He referred me to an endodontist (I didn’t even know what the heck that was, but I guess they specialize in diseases of the dental pulp and nerves). This would be my 5th doctor in the space of 5 days… and also my 5th bill in the space of 5 days… I went to him this past Thursday… had to wield my way into an appointment because their next available appointment wasn’t until Friday of this week until I told them that I might need to chop my head off with an ax in the backyard. That got their attention. There was a lot of drilling and hammering and all sorts of unpleasant things done to that tooth. What’s the verdict 3 days later? My mouth still hurts and my ear still hurts (most likely from the hammering and drilling), but I think (KNOCK ON WOOD) the shooting pain was resolved. I don’t want to think about the bills I’m adding on top of my 5 billion other medical-related bills from this year (broken wrist surgery, iron infusions, dental work, all the specialists I saw for no reason, etc.), but I guess that’s the price you pay to make the voices in your head happy campers.
I guess it’s safe to say I’m not a hypochondriac… I just have bad luck. I’m also proud to say I didn’t miss one day of work in all of this mess… and even put in overtime every day… stupid is as stupid does…. and then we die. Oh, also… to round out the excitement of the week… my car is stuck in a parking lot because it refused to start… AGAIN! Happy happy joy joy!! Bring on the being runover by a bus happening!
Question of the Day: So, how was your week?
PS – I’m POSITIVE a lot of you have much worse things to deal with than my piddly little problems. I am just writing this down for my own amusement and so I can gain perspective in the years to come… nothing is so bad that you can’t deal with it.