Ever since I visited an Amish community in New Hampshire and had a delectable pumpkin whoopie pie 2 years ago, I’ve been dying to get my hands on another one. Thing is, unless I start turning into Martha Stewart or some such nonsense, there isn’t one within a 50000000-mile radius round these parts. Whoopie pies aren’t popular in Utah for some reason… we prefer like Jell-O and funeral potatoes over here. I went into a book store on Saturday and was looking at the decorative magnets for purchase, and there was one with the recipe for funeral potatoes right on it. So, you could just stick that sucker on your refrigerator and not have to worry about getting out a cookbook for the funeral potato recipe. There were no other recipe magnets… just the one for funeral food and all of the other magnets had inspirational or funny quotes on them. Mmmm-kay. Keep Utah Weird!
Back to the whoopie pie dilemma. I hate baking. Like, hate with a fiery passion of 50000 burning witches heads (Halloween… wut up?). It’s mostly because I’m lazy and refuse to conform to the dirty 5 bowls to get one cake conundrum. I’m more of a one-bowl-and-done kind of cook, and then baking requires exact measurements and sifting of flour and all sorts of time-wasting treasures that I wasn’t born with the patience for. Basically, if you dirty 5000 bowls and 7000 measuring utensils, you have more dishes to do. PASSSSSSSSS!!!! So, I’ve tried baking in the past using the one bowl method, and it’s always turned out rather disastrously. Sunken in cakes and muffins… grainy textures, etc. Do you wonder why it takes me 5 years to tell a story that could have been summed up in 2 setences? If I figure it out, I’ll let y’all in on the secret.
I recently bought an Amish recipe book because I’m obsessed with these dang whoopie pies and set out to make them tonight. That’s right… conquering my laziness with a 2-year-old craving. I was healthifying the recipe as I went along, cutting sugar and flour and oil, increasing pumpkin puree, etc. The recipe also asked for 1 tablespoon of cinnamon, 1/2 tablespoon of ground ginger, and 1/2 tablespoon of ground cloves. I had to read the tablespoon for the cloves measurement several times to make sure they didn’t mean teaspoons… because let’s face it… cloves are strong! The recipe actually said right in it: The spice measurements seem like a lot, but they are right. So, that alleviated my fear of being murdered by clove consumption and I threw in 1/2 tablespoon.
To my surprise, the cookies turned out super moist and fluffy… and then I ate one. Holy cloverfield of cow dung, batwoman! It was like I got knocked in the teeth by an Amish clove farmer. The after taste was worse. I might as well have just eaten a spoonful of the ground cloves and called it a night. Fewer calories too. Mark my words on that one, friends!
So much for de-lazifying myself… and so much for my pumpkin whoopie
cushions pies. All that work and all I got was this funeral potato magnet.