Cloves… Stop It!

Ever since I visited an Amish community in New Hampshire and had a delectable pumpkin whoopie pie 2 years ago, I’ve been dying to get my hands on another one.  Thing is, unless I start turning into Martha Stewart or some such nonsense, there isn’t one within a 50000000-mile radius round these parts.  Whoopie pies aren’t popular in Utah for some reason… we prefer like Jell-O and funeral potatoes over here.  I went into a book store on Saturday and was looking at the decorative magnets for purchase, and there was one with the recipe for funeral potatoes right on it.  So, you could just stick that sucker on your refrigerator and not have to worry about getting out a cookbook for the funeral potato recipe.  There were no other recipe magnets… just the one for funeral food and all of the other magnets had inspirational or funny quotes on them.  Mmmm-kay.  Keep Utah Weird!

Back to the whoopie pie dilemma.  I hate baking.  Like, hate with a fiery passion of 50000 burning witches heads (Halloween… wut up?).  It’s mostly because I’m lazy and refuse to conform to the dirty 5 bowls to get one cake conundrum.  I’m more of a one-bowl-and-done kind of cook, and then baking requires exact measurements and sifting of flour and all sorts of time-wasting treasures that I wasn’t born with the patience for.  Basically, if you dirty 5000 bowls and 7000 measuring utensils, you have more dishes to do.  PASSSSSSSSS!!!!  So, I’ve tried baking in the past using the one bowl method, and it’s always turned out rather disastrously.  Sunken in cakes and muffins… grainy textures, etc.  Do you wonder why it takes me 5 years to tell a story that could have been summed up in 2 setences?  If I figure it out, I’ll let y’all in on the secret.

I recently bought an Amish recipe book because I’m obsessed with these dang whoopie pies and set out to make them tonight.  That’s right… conquering my laziness with a 2-year-old craving.  I was healthifying the recipe as I went along, cutting sugar and flour and oil, increasing pumpkin puree, etc.  The recipe also asked for 1 tablespoon of cinnamon, 1/2 tablespoon of ground ginger, and 1/2 tablespoon of ground cloves.  I had to read the tablespoon for the cloves measurement several times to make sure they didn’t mean teaspoons… because let’s face it… cloves are strong!  The recipe actually said right in it:  The spice measurements seem like a lot, but they are right.  So, that alleviated my fear of being murdered by clove consumption and I threw in 1/2 tablespoon.

To my surprise, the cookies turned out super moist and fluffy… and then I ate one.  Holy cloverfield of cow dung, batwoman!  It was like I got knocked in the teeth by an Amish clove farmer.  The after taste was worse.  I might as well have just eaten a spoonful of the ground cloves and called it a night.  Fewer calories too.  Mark my words on that one, friends!

So much for de-lazifying myself… and so much for my pumpkin whoopie cushions pies.  All that work and all I got was this funeral potato magnet.



Filed under Life

20 responses to “Cloves… Stop It!

  1. Last year around this time, I came upon a pumpkin whoopie pie boxed mix at Aldine. So delicious! Prepared mixes save on dishes, but unfortunately you can’t save much on calories with the exception of the oil.

  2. Faith

    I recently attended a baking class and learned what whoopies are. I didn’t know they were typical for the Amish thou.

    • How ironic that we were thinking on the same wavelength! I’m sure a lot of cultures want to take credit for the whoopie pie, but I’ve heard most about the Amish taking credit!

  3. Louisa

    Ok – I just had to do this…
    Here are two recipes for you Whitney (both use a box cake mix ) to help you.
    Even the Amish history behind them for anyone who wants to know.

    Lots of step by step instructions and pics too!

    Try try again…


  4. Avster

    Yee-ah, I’m sure the Amsih are still giggling over the 1/2 tablespoon of cloves. “All those silly Englischers will put in a tablespoon!”

    And forget sifting and measuring… who needs that? :b

    • Now it makes sense… they put that in there to make me look like an idiot! As for the sifting and measuring thing… you must have better luck than I do… or it’s that I don’t follow the high altitude instructions when baking!

  5. Too bad about those pies. At least they were fluffy and good looking. Try em again with less cloves and I bet they will be perfect

  6. Karen

    Whitney, there is an amish bakery on highway 89 just south of Brigham City on the West side. I have been tempted to stop and see what is there. Might be worth a stop since I go to SLC often. Let me know exactly what I would be looking for.

  7. Dessawade

    I didn’t think they were that bad but then I’ll eat anything:) LOVE the pics of our fall leaf tour. I want to do that again. One of my favorite trips!

  8. cl2

    I hate baking, too–too much work, too many dishes. I used to love it. I’m too lazy now.

  9. Oh Whitney, you had me laughing til my sides split! I would just totally skip the cloves because I don’t like the taste. I am a devoted clove skipper. If a recipe calls for cloves, I just pretend I never saw that ingredient. After your experience, I am thinking you probably wouldn’t want to try again…
    By the way….Last spring, I had the best whoopie pies (please notice the plural here) ever and I was in Johnstown, Pennsylvania.

    • Haha Erinn! I should have asked about the dreaded cloves before I made the recipe. Though, I’ve eaten cloves plenty of times (the wassail we make at Christmas calls for them), I guess they go better in certain things than others! I am going to have to check out those PA whoopie pies! When they’re that good, how can you by just one!?

  10. Alena

    Oh Whit! Too funny! I hate it when I go to all the effort of baking something and it doesn’t turn out! Aaargh! I do, however, LOVE to bake. (I think it is directly related to the fact that I love to eat baked goods.)
    I absolutely adore the pictures! I want to frame the top one and put it on my wall 🙂

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